Bloggers – Online vs Real Life

I originally wrote this post a few weeks back where I was beginning to get increasingly irked at bloggers who were different when I met them in person but it stayed in my drafts because I began having a lot more positive interactions with other bloggers and I didn’t want to have a big old moan about it. Then this weekend happened.

As a blogger, I have been lucky (and unlucky) enough to meet hundreds of fellow bloggers in real life. Whether it be at events or meet ups, I get to put a face to a domain name.

But, unfortunately, not all bloggers are the same online as they are in real life. This isn’t a post to drag anyone BUT if the shoe fits…

As a new blogger, I quickly decided who I loved from social media, who I wanted to be friends with and who I wanted to be like. I found myself starting discussions with them over Twitter or commenting on their Instagrams. I couldn’t wait to meet these girls in real life as their online personas just screamed, ‘YOU’RE LIKE ME!’

Then, as I began to get invited to stuff, I began to meet some of them. And that’s where the fantasy started to unfold.

In the run up to events, I’d be tweeting the girls I was excited to meet to discuss what we’d be wearing and how thrilled we were to finally meet each other. But on the day of the event, it seemed like those Twitter conversations never happened. I’d approach the blogger in real life to be greeted by a blank face or sometimes, complete ignorance. Even after declaring, ‘It’s ME, VIX’, incase they didn’t recognise me from my pictures, they would still look at me like I was the town freak.

Or I would meet them, we would declare undying love for each other, I would compliment overload their social media, photography or blogs to find they’ve unfollowed me the next day.

Or I would approach them to say hi, get ignored, subtweet my aggravation at such awful behaviour and be tweeted by them to say, ‘Oh my god, so sad we didn’t get a chance to chat.’ Nah, don’t try it babe. You stood next to me in silence for 10 minutes. You had plenty of chance to chat.

Which brings me to Summer in the City. For those who don’t have a clue – Summer in the City is the ‘UK’s largest YouTube convention’.

I was lucky enough to be invited by my bez Grace to be her plus one. Over the Friday and Saturday I got to go back stage, to the Green Rooms, wander between panels and mooch around the main room. I was SO excited to meet a range of bloggers and YouTubers who I have been crushing on for quite some time. I also met quite a few people in the industry who had a few tales to tell about their experiences of bloggers in real life.

Turns out, most of them are complete dicks.

There was the blogger/YouTuber who I have followed, supported, tweeted and read for YEARS, who point blank ignored me when I said ‘Hi’ as her friend was introducing me. Bitch, half of your RewardStyle bunce is from me idolising your style and you can’t even fake a smile?

There was the huge YouTube/blog, glossy star who walked into a room, looked at people smiling and saying hello to her who walked straight back out again. Bitch I was good enough for you 2 years ago when you wanted me to invite you to an event but now you want to pretend like I’m invisible? Perhaps you can’t remember what my face looks like after you unfollowed me on all platforms because I couldn’t get you the plus one.

Then there was the viral YouTube sensation who blanked everyone’s welcomes, compliments, support and love whilst standing next to us for a good ol length of time. Bitch we used to chat weekly on Twitter when we had the same amount of followers but you blowing up means you don’t talk to anyone now?

(From others who have experienced similarly awful behaviour:) 

There are YouTubers who tell their managers to tell everyone in the room not to look at them.

Those who refuse to appear at anything fans might be at, unless they are paid.

Ones who accept gifted opportunities and trips without a Hello or a Thank You.

Ones who are so disgusting that they will throw rubbish on the floor and tell other people to pick it up.

Those who present themselves to be shy, retiring and socially awkward but used to live a life that was very different.

Girls who make videos about bullying, trolling and getting hate who want to go out of their way to be vile to people who have supported them.

Even worse, ones who get PAID to do charity work.

ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME?

Does 100k+ followers/subscribers suddenly mean that your head is planted firmly up your arsehole?

One thing I’ve learned about some bloggers/YouTubers is that they love to social climb. Anyone with less followers or who can’t get them a PR sample is ignored whilst those who have more sway than them will get their clits sucked.

Here’s why I’m angry. These people are making an incredible amount of money on a persona that is completely false. They are duping their fans who have never had the misfortune to meet them in real life, into believing they are relatable and approachable when in reality they are neither.

I have met many a PR and industry person over these last 2 years. The same names keep getting dragged up. No one who has met them likes them but they HAVE to work with them because of their numbers.

Numbers, numbers, numbers.

What becomes apparent very quickly when you meet these people is that you can have the most amount of followers and subscribers but it doesn’t make you a good person.

Luckily, most of the bloggers/YouTubers I have met, that have been rude or entitled, are not people I watch or support BUT imagine they behave the same way to actual fans? People that buy their merchandise or style themselves on those girls.

The thing with online personas is, you can be ANYONE. You don’t even need to be yourself. You can make your Twitter seem like you’re the most confident, friendly, out-going and kind person, when in reality, you could be shy OR just plain rude. Or you can use your Insta to show all of your latest ASOS purchases when in reality you’re living on Supernoodles and dust for dinner. But you’re definitely not going to #ad it because you think your fans are stupid.

And I get it. Maybe, you’re naturally a withdrawn, anxious person, you don’t choose to be this way. You beat yourself up over it and wish you could be more confident and outgoing. So when you’re sat behind a screen it’s a lot easier to be that confident, bubbly person. But what happens when you do meet other bloggers in real life and it becomes quickly apparent, you’re not like who you portray yourself to be?

If you are socially anxious or awkward, being bombarded by strangers vying for attention is going to be overwhelming and it might freak you out. That’s not my problem though. My problem is with the two-faced-ness of it. STOP PRETENDING TO BE SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT.

That’s why I love bloggers who are exactly who they say they are. If you tweet and blog about your anxiety and worries, then when I meet you, I’m going to be aware of that and approach you accordingly.

I love bloggers who are loud, brash and out there online who are then totally in my face when I meet them, because I know how to handle them.

What I can’t stand, are the girls who pretend to be your BFF on social media who then act like you’re no one when you meet them. The bloggers who tweet you about an upcoming event because they, ‘can’t wait to see you babes,’ who then pretend they haven’t seen you when you approach them with a smile and a HEY.

I can’t stand girls that create a brand of being so friendly, relatable and lovely who then spend an entire event eye rolling at anyone who dares speak to them.

I’ve been told by the bloggers that I’ve met in real life that I’m the same online as off and I’m glad they can see that. I’m glad they can tell I’ll talk about vaginas on my blog AND within 5 minutes of meeting them, because that’s me.

If you’re going to build an image of yourself online as an approachable, welcoming and confident blogger who is comfortable within herself. You’d better make damn sure you represent yourself that way in real life too.

Furthermore, if you’re going to make a heck of a lot of money off of young, impressionable girls OR be supported by other bloggers on your way up, at least have the common courtesy to attempt to be half decent when they meet you in real life.

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70 Comments

  1. August 14, 2016 / 9:35 am

    YES VIX! I’m a bit over the people who are a whole other person online to off. I’ve also been told that I’m the same on my blog as I am in real life (expect excessive swearing) and that’s something I’m so proud of.

  2. August 14, 2016 / 9:43 am

    Sooooo many LOLs and been there, its happened and I now quite happily return the favour of ignorance when my mood suits x

  3. Chloe
    August 14, 2016 / 9:44 am

    Yaaaaaaaaaas you write such truth. I can’t believe people are like that. It’s like, bloggers got you there so why are you now going to ignore us all. I’d rather have no followers and be a good person online and offline, than have 100k+ and be a snobby nobby.

    Love all of your posts! Chloe xxxxxx

  4. Nicola
    August 14, 2016 / 9:47 am

    Love this post! I’ve only met a couple of bloggers that I love in real life – one was exactly how I expected her to be, one was still nice enough but absoulutely nothing like she was on her blog, and the others all somewhere in between. I’ve never met any massive YouTube types though!

    Nicola // <a href="http://www.pink-confetti.co.uk">pink-confetti.co.uk</a&gt;

  5. August 14, 2016 / 9:47 am

    The library is open!
    Ha!
    Sorry to read you’ve had such bad times with events and meeting other bloggers! I hope through some of those you have met some awesome genuine ones that make good friends.
    And yes this related such much to the Bloggeration Chat!

    https://thisstuffisgolden.com

  6. August 14, 2016 / 9:48 am

    Literally been waiting for this post all week! Luckily I’ve only had good experiences with bloggers IRL but some bloggers have really disgusting behaviour nowadays because they think 100K + followers certifies their right to act that way. Would love to know who are all these bloggers you talk about but I think I can guess one from our conversation the other day 😂 Great post and keep writing true because someone needs to say it!

    Anna
    http://www.farewellmay.co.uk

  7. Char
    August 14, 2016 / 9:57 am

    PREACH VIX! I don’t understand why some bloggers would converse with you online and ignore you in real life… it’s beyond me, but bless the ones who are the same on and offline <3

    Char xo || http://www.memoirsmusings.com

  8. Sam
    August 14, 2016 / 10:12 am

    I’ve heard some things about bloggers/vloggers but wow to some of these! I will say though don’t be so harsh on people that are shy/have anxiety. It can be hard to work up the courage to go to an event and go and up and speak to bloggers you chat with online as there are doubts they will know who you are. I speak from experience. It really isn’t the case of pretending to be someone else and not everyone wants to talk about their shy/anxieties in public. For me I just want to go out and come across as normal, maybe that shows, maybe it doesn’t but I’m not trying to portray I’m someone else, it’s still me but perhaps just a toned down version at first. It’s easier to converse when you are typing rather than chatting face to face.

  9. August 14, 2016 / 10:20 am

    I feel unbelievably lucky not to have experienced this personally. I think the worst I’ve ever had is someone I’d helped get their hands on a highly sought after, limited edition product, suddenly unfollowed me on all platforms. That stung, but clearly I’d misjudged her & her intentions. I’m glad I hadn’t met her IRL, as that would have stung. Xx

    Tania | <a href="http://whentaniatalks.com">When Tania Talks</a>

  10. August 14, 2016 / 10:40 am

    omg I love this! you’ve pointed out some things that are very wrong with the whole industry. And it is an industry, and one that some people are making lots of money because they’re essentially conning people. This is the exact same issue I have with people buying followers:

    "These people are making an incredible amount of money on a persona that is completely false. They are duping their fans who have never had the misfortune to meet them in real life, into believing they are relatable and approachable when in reality they are neither."

    There’s people that genuinely follow people with a huge amount of fake followers and are being duped into thinking they’re something they’re not. Bloggers with genuine following and engagement are losing out on fantastic opportunities because of these shysters. I see bloggers who work their arses off and produce amazing content still being ignored because they dont meet the level of followers required yet someone else with a shitload of fake followers are getting the work, well that just makes me not buy that brand but more than that it actually effects the blogger who’s genuinely brilliant. (perhaps I should write a post about this ha) . Sorry for going off tangent, and thanks for raising the issue. xx

  11. August 14, 2016 / 11:12 am

    I want to say that I’m shocked but I’m really not! Most people in the world only need you to further themselves, then as soon as they reach where they need to be, they drop you. I can understand the more popular bloggers not being able to return comments and such as I imagine returning hundreds of comments would be difficult but in person it’s not fucking hard to say hello, how are you.

    I bought a ticket for the Blogosphere Christmas Market, and now I’m worried! I am a lot more confident online than I am offline, but I also admit to being shy in person, I actually tweeted before I bought the ticket that I was terrified to go to an event. I just don’t understand why people can’t be honest, I swear a lot in person and it creeps in online too, I was told that brands won’t be interested in working with me if I swear in my posts, but I can’t help it! I think it must be exhausting working two different personas.

    Glad to see this addressed, you very rarely see posts that talk about issues like this as I would imagine a lot of people would be scared of any possible backlash.

  12. Lauren -bylaurenjane
    August 14, 2016 / 11:42 am

    Amen sister!!! I’m so lucky that the majority of bloggers I’ve met have been lovely, which I recently wrote about, but I’ve never met any of the ‘big timers’. I’ve heard stories but never sure what to believe. I have met a couple of rude/obnoxious ones so I can only imagine this is worse as they get bigger. Good on you for calling it out. If we ever meet I’ll happily talk to you about vaginas. Much love. Lauren x

  13. August 14, 2016 / 12:03 pm

    I’m so glad you wrote this, because I really do live in a bubble sometimes. I convince myself they must all be nice people and I know that’s me being naive, but I just can’t imagine that they can pretend so well for so long, for money.

    I’m so gutted that people can be like this. Because when all is said and done, the hype ends and the samples stop coming, all we have is each other and we’re a great community when we want to be.

    I hope some come back down to earth, but I won’t hold my breath!

    PS: I’d like to request that when we meet that our first words exchanged aren’t "hello" or "hi", but more along the lines of "vagina!" or "boffing".

  14. j
    August 14, 2016 / 12:19 pm

    Vix, this is probably one of the best posts I have ever read. I’m a chronically shy person who is so anxious in real life that I make people around me feel nervous, oops. Twitter chats used to give me confidence but nowadays I don’t even feel confident enough to join in. A few years back I went to a blogger meet up and met some lovely bloggers, all of whom actually seemed as nice as they were online, and a few who I liked even more in person!

    Hiding behind a cutesy persona is fine if you can live up to it, but if you’re a cow to the people who have helped contribute to your success, you don’t deserve to be so successful imo. There are a few "top bloggers" who used to tweet me back around 4/5 years ago and now they’d barely glance at my tweets. I’ve stopped reading a heck of a lot of blogs because of how ugly their personalities have become.

    x

  15. August 14, 2016 / 1:38 pm

    Well said! I’ve met two bloggers offline – one who was just starting out and one who is BIG business! Fortunately, they were both lovely in person but I’m honestly not surprised that some people present a very different image to the ones they portray online. It really goes against everything that blogging was supposed to be really.

    <a href="http://marthadahhling.blogspot.com">Martha Dahhling</a>

  16. Jemma ⚡ Dorkface
    August 14, 2016 / 2:00 pm

    I have to say, I love this and I think 90% of it is totally spot on (for me). Like, I have NO time for the rudeness, the ‘cant be arsed’ attitude some have, and the total lack of regard for people who support them.
    WITH YOU. PREACH.
    But I do proper worry that people who are different online to IRL might feel worried/crappy. I’ll be honest, I dont even think Im one of these people. Unless Im put with people I REALLY dont feel comfortable with, Im probably gonna be myself, loud, chatty, giggly, probably a bit annoying. Same as online.
    But I do have mates who I know for a fact they ARE dif IRL, and cant help it. Like, they use social media as a great way to feel connected and to get chatty, have a laugh, but IRL they totally close up, feel awkward as fuck, and too shy to talk to people unless they talk to them first… etc etc. And if they’re also the type of person who doesn’t want to blurt all that out online, saying they siffer with anxiety, or they’re really shy – they might think a post like this could be aimed at them, and I just feel sorry for them a bit.
    Again, I know thats not what your post was about, and I think its bloody brilliant. 🙂 But I thought Id comment so maybe those lil shy people know that its alright to be different IRL in my opinion, if its not from rudeness/etc. 🙂
    I hope this comment makes sense! And I hope you know I adore you, and every single post as always haha. But yeah, just worried about the shy tikes haha. x

  17. August 14, 2016 / 2:11 pm

    I haven’t actually met any bloggers yet, but I have definitely had people being nice for the first couple of days after you’ve followed them then once their numbers are higher than yours they completely ignore you. And that’s from small bloggers just starting out! I get that people are busy but ignoring interactions with someone you claimed to be friends with a week ago is annoying af! Lucy xx

  18. Hayley
    August 14, 2016 / 2:16 pm

    Amen to all of this. You’ve encapsulated what I’ve been thinking and feeling for such a long time, but any time I voice an opinion or critique a collective of people in any way I open myself up to a week’s worth of vilification. I totally understand some people will be shy IRL and their online personas can be somewhat different, but it’s not easy to mistake rudeness for shyness. The behaviour you’ve described is exactly what I’ve experienced personally – and I’ve been dropped by pretty much all of the ‘big boys’ once they’ve achieved what they wanted to from our fake ‘friendship’. Behaviour like this is inexcuseable and I hope the ones this is directed at take notice (rather than just feeling sorry for themselves & using the get-out-clause of shyness/anxiety as justification.)

  19. Christina StJean
    August 14, 2016 / 2:58 pm

    I love this!!! I haven’t met any bloggers in real life yet and I’d be totally pissed off since I cant stand fake phony people! I’ve heard so many times that alot of these bloggers/youtubers being so awful and mean in person! It’s unfortunate brands feel forced to work with nasty people because of numbers… shows you how our society is smh. Great post!

    Xoxo
    Christina
    http://Www.styletothet.com

  20. August 14, 2016 / 3:34 pm

    Everything you said is spot on!!!! i have only ever met two youtubers before, and I can truly say that they were exactly the same in real life as they were behind the screen.

    I can see right through the fakeness of some bloggers. They’ll do anything for some cash, even if it means being fake to get to wherever they want to be! May the universe help them!

    X

  21. Alyse goody
    August 14, 2016 / 3:48 pm

    Couldn’t agree with this more! Absolute love this!

  22. Arianne
    August 14, 2016 / 3:48 pm

    Lovely post! Thankfully, I haven’t met these people, but then again, I don’t go to events often. It makes me curious who these people you speak of, though. It’s sad to think that some successful people are like that.

    http://ariannecruz07.blogspot.com

  23. August 14, 2016 / 6:08 pm

    So blunt and to the point, and I agree with everything you’ve said! I’ve had to unfollow and disassociate myself with a lot of bloggers and especially big youtuber/bloggers because their fake, inauthenticity was just too much. It appalls me how people like that can treat others, especially those who support them, so badly. And especially when you realize certain truths after being spun lies behind a computer screen constantly and being fed a certain image of a person/idea of them, it can feel like a backstabbing moment because you trusted them and trusted who they put themselves out to be. It’s just a horrible system and I hate how numbers are the most important. What should be is who the person is, regardless of how ‘aesthetic’ their videos/photos, etc. I’m sick of this blogging/youtube celebrity culture, to be honest. It’s just all so wrong.

    xoxo
    http://www.hellohimawari.com

  24. Abigail-Alice Jones
    August 14, 2016 / 8:04 pm

    Wow, it’s really sad that you have had these experiences and that people can be so warped by the internet popularity. It sucks when you meet a blogger in person and they aren’t what you expected but I feel like that’s the risk with the internet. It’s terrible that it’s happening frequently though.

    <a href="http://abigailalicex.com">Abigail Alice x</a>

  25. Lexie #Foxlet
    August 14, 2016 / 9:31 pm

    Excellent post V- I can’t bear fakeness- I have never been to any blogger events, but if I did I like to think I’d be my normal self, the way I come across in my blog and Twitter X

  26. Georgina Kent
    August 15, 2016 / 8:45 am

    Oh Vix, I absolutely freakin’ love this! I’ve been to SO many events like this! Shocked to hear about some who throw litter on the floor and tell someone else to pick it up, who do they think they are? And the paid charity work… not cool. A while ago I was approached by a kids charity to do some work in exchange for a voucher. I gladly accepted the challenge and declined the payment, they need that money a hell of a lot more than me! I assumed everyone was like that… sad times :/

    LOVE THIS POST!!!!!

    Georgina
    <a href="http://www.pixiedoes.com">PixieDoes.com</a&gt;

  27. August 15, 2016 / 9:27 am

    Oh my goodness, that’s so sad that people act like that. Falsehood is never an attractive look on anyone and it just saddens me that people you may perceive as nice, friendly and approachable are anything but in real life. I haven’t been to many blogger events but there have been some occasions where people have been pretty ‘off’ when it comes to meeting in person. However happy to say I’ve met some lovely people in person after becoming friends online and hope that does continue 🙂

    http://victoriaspongepeasepudding.com/

  28. Georgina Kent
    August 15, 2016 / 9:29 am

    I meant to say on my previous comment, the first big event I went to was in London about 3 years ago at Christmas, I was so excited! But when I got there I basically was filled with dread for the next 2 hours – it was so cliquey – everyone had split into their cliques (a table of ‘successful bloggers’ sitting very closed off from everyone else) and I was literally sat by myself for most of the 2 hrs (I don’t find it easy to go up to a group of people and start speaking to them) until I managed to bump into 2 other girls who were sat alone too. Everyone seemed to have a bad smell under their nose – it was weird and nearly put me off ever going to an event again :/

    I remember seeing one ‘known blogger’, I plucked up the courage to speak to them and said ‘oh you’re such and such from xx blog aren’t you?’ with a big smile on my face – they looked at me with contempt, said ‘yes’ and looked away… so rude 🙁

    Georgina
    http://www.pixiedoes.com

  29. KM
    August 15, 2016 / 9:41 am

    I used to blog back in the day when having 10,000 YouTube subscribers was considered an amazing achievement. I met some now extremely popular bloggers who came to meetups and demanded we didn’t take a photo of their face as their management wouldn’t be able to approve it, bloggers who used my friends when they just starting out (for basic things like places to live not even followers) who ditched them as soon as someone more popular came along and, like you, bloggers who were all friendly on Twitter but ignored me in real life. It felt like being back at school and not being part of the popular clique. I stopped blogging shortly after that because I hated the fakeness and egos.

  30. August 15, 2016 / 11:42 am

    I love this and I cannot agree more. Although a relatively small fish in a very large pond, I’ve been blogging for over seven years now and have definitely seen the swings change throughout it all. It’s so sad that what appears to be such a wonderfully supportive community online, can become such polar opposites in real life. I can’t comprehend the thought of someone having a blog to pretend they’re someone else then not being the same in real life. It’s very easy to find the fakeness in it all for sure, and sadly I don’t see things getting any better. As you say, it’s all just a big numbers game.

  31. Vanessa
    August 15, 2016 / 2:20 pm

    I’ve been to one blogger event and nah never again mate. NOONE spoke to me, and I was like, but we’ve like spoke on twitter for a year….nah don’t want to know you in person. OR they talk to you at an event but then will ignore you on all forms of social media. What’s the point? It all ends up kind of clique-y and even though I’ve been blogging for 4 years, and very active on Twitter that whole time, I still don’t feel any sense of "community", but I have seen the change in some people who have gone really big. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying everyone, Victoria from InTheFrow has remained down to earth and replies to my comments and everything, and Em Ford still tweets me occasionally when I’ve asked for help on Twitter, but other ones it seems to have gone to their heads. No need. Ok I’ve had my rant – keep it real everyone, aint nobody got time for BS.

    Vanessa | http://www.wanderness.co.uk xx

    • Georgina Kent
      August 16, 2016 / 8:05 am

      I’ve had the exact same thing at an event, totally ignored :/ I was too shy to go up to bigger groups of people all sat in an impenetrable circle, so I ended up sitting by myself for 2 hours! It’s amazing how different people can be IRL :/

  32. August 15, 2016 / 2:49 pm

    All of this! I’ve recently met quite a few people that I was incredibly disappointed by. I’ve also had the reverse, people who I thought would be stand offish were actually bloody lovely – I bumped into Zoe London and fangirled a bit, she was so nice, I was worried she’d think I was a dick and ignore me. I’ve also had a bigger youtuber only be nice to me because she thought I was a big fan – afterwards realising that we shared the same circle of friends and then barely spoke to me… On a side note, I may have stared at you repeatedly at the Blogosphere party, mostly because I recognised your face but couldn’t place you…the whole brain working thing… meh. I did approach you because I thought you were one of the bigger blogger types that might not chat. My bad, will poke you in the face next time. I really struggle matching names to faces, I generally cling to Holly if she’s there – she has an excellent memory for these things, life saver.

    What did you think of SitC? I was a bit disappointed by it all this year.

  33. Toni
    August 15, 2016 / 2:55 pm

    I’m fairly new to the blogging world and so have yet to be invited to any event, although at my age, 44, and don’t percess a large following (and yes, it really is all about the numbers!) I can’t quite see it happening. As for the freebies, I honestly couldn’t give a monkeys, I’ll provide my own material thank you. This was a great insight into what I kind of expected all along, despite never attending an event. I can never understand why people choose to giver off that persona on social media thats nothing like how they are in real life. Yes Vix- they are such a false bunch of dicks! Loved this post! Xx

    <a href="http://www.sheergloss.blogspot.co.uk">sheergloss</a&gt;

  34. Sheren Mhanaya
    August 15, 2016 / 2:57 pm

    Yes, Yes, YES! Gurl, I couldn’t agree with you more. It actually baffles me as to how some bloggers literally think they sh*t out gold because of the amount of followers they have. They fail to realise that acting in a certain way will do nothing but create a ‘name’ for themselves, and not a good one at all. I’m a strong believer in ‘what goes around, comes right back around’ so they should enjoy being nasty whilst they can lol 🙂 X

    THEFASHION-JUNKIE | http://www.thefashion-junkie.blogspot.co.uk

  35. Jodie Leigh
    August 15, 2016 / 3:29 pm

    I found your blog through this post on Twitter and glad you have spoke out about what really goes on. Big bloggers and youtubers wouldn’t be where they are today without fans and they treat them like shit irl

    Great post
    Jodiesjournal.com
    X

  36. Wave to Mummy
    August 15, 2016 / 3:39 pm

    True words! I think most bloggers I’ve met have been really nice, but there has certainly been a few off putting ones. I am not trying to be BFF but ha ha I’d appreciate a normal small talk chat nonetheless if I say hi 😁

  37. Poppy Demchy-Cooper
    August 15, 2016 / 3:50 pm

    Love this post 💗 Props to you for writing this 👌

  38. August 15, 2016 / 4:11 pm

    Thank you!

  39. Stephanie Hartley
    August 15, 2016 / 4:22 pm

    I would have been so upset and disappointed to meet them! I really struggle with anxiety and would find it hard to actually put myself out there and say Hey to people – a weekend of rude or no responses would honestly have me in tears. And I’m absolutely astounded by the rubbish thing. How do you forget what it’s like to be a decent human being?!

    Steph – http://www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

  40. August 15, 2016 / 6:07 pm

    My face dropped as I was reading this, and I’m so sorry you had such an awful experience at SITC. I’m not big into YouTube anymore for many of the reasons you listed here, but it’s a real shame when this goes on, and unfortunately, not many people will discuss, so thank you for writing this! I’d always thought, very naively (but I am naive and I will hold my hand up to it) that what I saw, was what I got, both online and in real life – because that’s how I am. I’m so sorry you were ignored and treated like this when meeting people you were so looking forward to meet, it just makes my heart heavy. I don’t think you should let this deter you from seeking out real life friendships from online friends, as I am sure there are hundreds of really lovely bloggers who are just the same as they appear online. I think it is important to address this kind of thing and strive for a more balanced and welcoming community both online and in real life. With all that’s going on in the world at the moment, we deserve to be kinder, more welcoming and friendly. I know this must have been quite scary to write, but I am glad you did because it shines a light on things we should be discussing and trying to steer away from, so thank you Vix, and I’m sorry this comment was so long! – Tasha

  41. August 15, 2016 / 6:21 pm

    PREACH IT SISTA. I have been there many, many times and I totally get it. It sucks when you idolise someone, talk to them on social media all the time, only to meet them and find they completely blank you. OR, even worse, they act nice to your face and promptly unfollow you/ignore you afterwards. Nothing worse! I am so socially awkward at these events and I always find even if people are talking to me, as soon as someone with a higher follower count enters the room they drop everything and run to them. It really sucks and doesn’t help if you’re already lacking confidence! I just want us to try and forget about the numbers and remember we’re all just human beings making our way! So much love for this post xx

  42. Jamie
    August 15, 2016 / 8:16 pm

    Hi, I’m a typical man who’s partner LOVES to watch vlogs, but being ‘a bloke’ I can see the vlogs/blogs from a point of view that can only be seen from an "outsider’s" point of view. This point of view is of Cynicism. Now I understand the amount of work that goes into blogs and the editing and the constant videoing of what you are eating for lunch but I can’t help but believe what Miss Vix is saying. I think that the bloggers, and I’m not saying them all, put a constant amount of fakeness that people seem to buy into. The strange thing is, the more people watch these people the more detached from the real world they become. I would expect the blogging world to be a world of friendship and support but to me.. The ‘outsider’ it’s a world of fakeness and unreality. Well done for writing this as it needs to be said. 🙂

  43. Alice
    August 15, 2016 / 8:25 pm

    Aaaaamen to this!

  44. Thumbelina Lillie
    August 15, 2016 / 9:02 pm

    As I’ve told you, I’ve had a pretty shitty experience myself with a popular YouTuber who was very ‘rude’ to my face and it totally spun my opinion I’m afraid. I totally get that Social Media can give you the confidence to act a bit more ‘brash’ or ‘out there’ than you usually are, but it’s not too cool when it doesn’t reflect in real life. But like you said, if that’s down to a social anxiety issue, then that’s understandable.

    Personally, I’d like to think that I’m the same on Social as IRL. I mean, I practically wrapped my arms around you last weekend within two short seconds :’)

  45. August 16, 2016 / 9:49 am

    Love this post, I think there is an awful lot of two-faced-ness in the blogging world, and the more I see of it the more I am tempted to stay in my own little corner of the internet and not worry about meeting any new bloggers.

  46. Tracy
    August 16, 2016 / 12:50 pm

    It made me so happy to come across this post because finally someone is talking about this OUT LOUD :). It happens all the time and I’m so sorry that it has happened to you because it’s happened to me as well. As a blogger I too have met talked to people online and eventually met them in person and boy was that a wake up call. Most were nothing like I thought them to be and even more so the exact opposite of what they "preach" online. Totally disappointing. I was actually friends with a YouTuber and when they started to gain popularity completely ditched me. Even became friends with other bloggers/YouTubers whom they said they couldn’t stand just to get ahead. Although it’s sad and hurtful that these types of situations happen and that people can’t play nice in the sandbox I’m glad I found out before investing any more time in supporting them.

  47. August 16, 2016 / 1:00 pm

    I read all about these fall outs and bitching on social media. but have never witnessed any of it…and I’m just so, so glad that I haven’t if I’m completely honest. It’s probably because i’m not in the "right circles". Again, I’m so glad not to be in said circle. Saying that, the bloggers i have met, who i now count as friends are gems! X

  48. August 16, 2016 / 2:11 pm

    Wow so eye opening! It’s a world I want to stay arm lengths from, I can’t be dealing with rudeness on any level even if you’re ‘famous’.

  49. August 16, 2016 / 2:35 pm

    Okay – i LOVE this post! I honestly think it’s disgusting that people can’t partake in basic interaction just because they’re ‘big’, i would never ever be like that with anyone! Manners cost nothing, at least flash a smile if you haven’t got time for a proper chat.

    Very sad to think that some people have this attitude but try not to let it get you down!

    http://www.shedreams.co.uk

  50. August 16, 2016 / 3:19 pm

    I think it’s a little unfair to imply that someone confident online has to come across as confident in person otherwise they’re a fake, as I personally am very open on my blog and Twitter etc yet don’t necessarily want to dish the dirt on everything if someone I don’t know at an event approaches and expects me to do so – not because I’m being fake, but because it’s easier to write something that is true to your personality without thinking about it than it is to tell someone all of your stories face to face if you ever actually meet them – not within the first half hour, anyway… (Unless I’ve already had wine. And unless this is someone I’ve openly spoken to on social, rather than just someone that reads my blog who I’ve had no previous personal contact with -who I will happily talk to, but who I won’t necessarily happily tell my life story to right off the bat)

    However, I agree with the rest of your points. Rudeness is unacceptable, being fake must be a nightmare to keep up, and acting as though you’re above the ‘little people’ is a joke. Social follower numbers don’t make anyone superior to anyone else. I actually have to do blogger outreach as part of my job and it shines a light on a lot of the nastiness that comes from some of these girls behind the scenes – when I was first starting out I practically worshipped quite a big blogger/vlogger who I thought was absolutely hilarious, and who comes across online as a completely lovely person. But when I approached her for a quote? She asked who I thought I was, did I know who she was, how dare I try to use HER name to boost my company and how dare I even think it was ACCEPTABLE to ask her for a two sentence answer to a question without first agreeing a fee. It completely put me off her and I have blacklisted her on everything I’ve worked on since, which is a shame for her really – I have much more exciting opportunities these days

    I’ve never met a YouTuber but I’ve made a lot of friends through blogging that I’m now close to in real life. But then I’ve also met people that seemed great online but then acted super ‘blogger’ around me when we met in person, and were only interested in cross promotion, which I don’t buy into because I don’t write that sort of blog. Aaaaand, I’ve had people suck up to me in the past so I’ll recommend them to my own following and then drop me for bigger fish once they’d reached my level. Sucks. But as long as you keep on keeping on with your own writing and enjoy it while you do it, those people aren’t worth your time anyway.

    Long story short: great post
    Sorry for the ramble, ha

    http://www.foxsocks.co.uk

  51. August 16, 2016 / 3:26 pm

    I’ve never followed or met any of these self acclaimed Tanya Burr’s or Zoella’s of the blogging world and I’m not keen on it either. I read blogs but I don’t idolise the people behind the blog. I mainly read blogs because I want to stay informed and to get inspiration/discover new places in London. It’s strange to me when people religiously read big bloggers blogs or watch their channels like fangirls. I don’t really understand that phenomenon in general. However, I’ve experienced the phenomenon of not replying may it be Social Media or Blog Comments and that’s plain speaking super rude. Bloggers with 10k+ suddenly think they are somewhat better and don’t feel the need to reply. I can understand if they are super busy but the shear arrogance some "high profile" bloggers have is incredible. I always try to reply to all comments and tweets, even if it takes a while I think you as a blogger should take time to appreciate your audience. We are all busy, we all have jobs and have limited time, so the little that we have left and invest in commenting should be returned at least somehow acknowledged.

    Caz | <a href="http://www.stylelingua.co.uk">Style Lingua</a>

  52. Magpie Jasmine
    August 16, 2016 / 7:43 pm

    Oh wow, what an eye-opener! I don’t get invited to many events and haven’t met any ‘big’ bloggers, plus the Manchester blogger circuit is quite small so most of us know each other. But I feel seriously naive, I can’t believe some of this 🙁

    Jasmine xx

    <a href="http://www.jasminetalksbeauty.com/"><i&gt; Jasmine Talks Beauty </i> </a>

  53. August 17, 2016 / 5:01 pm

    Amazing post! I haven’t met a lot of bloggers but some blog events I’ve been too I’ve experienced this. When I’d had my blog just one month I was lucky enough to get invited to my first blog event. The other blogs there really knew their shit and were really experienced and the whole thing ended up being completely intimidating. I was trying to make conversations about eachother’s clothes and how I liked one girl’s lippy and they were basically ignoring me and all just talking about how many followers they had and "big bloggers" that at the time I had never heard of. I wish people would get a grip. Amazing post xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Y x | http://www.thesweetsevenfive.com

  54. August 18, 2016 / 1:38 pm

    Wow, reading this opened my eyes. I’ve never met bloggers in real life before, only one who turned out to be just as lovely as I thought she’d be. But wow, your experience speaks volumes and it upsets me that some are like that! I would’ve stood there, dumbfounded. Thanks for sharing this even though you had your doubts! This is so so important for our community.

    Hugs,
    Hannie fromhttp://www.missingwanderer.org

  55. Being Erin
    August 19, 2016 / 12:20 am

    Wow wow wow. What an experience. I’m well aware of lot of fake youtube personalities and it’s to be expected from bloggers as they are like bitchy high school girls, but it really is disappointing when people portray themselves as one thing and turn out to be another.

    Erin | beingerin.com

  56. August 20, 2016 / 3:58 pm

    Okay girl if i didn’t love you before i do now even more! THANK-YOU. I’m myself on social media and my blog, which includes writing embarrassing puns and being open about my life – including mental health struggles. What’s the point in wearing a mask? I did for so long at school, trying to be "perfect" so people would like me and i’m over that.

    I realyl want to meet more people/bloggers in real life, but i’m admittedly scared. I’m scared it will make my social anxiety even greater because i will be rejected by people i look up to. That’s the thing, we can all live in a bit of a bubble online, not just the "big bloggers" who pretend to be this awesome-sauce person who LOVES EVERYONE, but also the ‘smaller bloggers’ who look up to them. I like to think that Karma exists though, possibly… fingers crossed! Because the lovely people deserve lovely things and the true recognition xxxx

    <a href="http://www.bumble-and-be.com">Bumble and Be</a>

  57. August 20, 2016 / 8:55 pm

    Yup, best post I’ve read in a while. I live in Vancouver where it is a struggle to meet other bloggers so I haven’t had any experiences like these, but I have heard some horror stories that honestly, make me a tad anxious to meet other bloggers sometimes.

    http://www.justbeingbrooklyn.com

  58. August 21, 2016 / 10:16 am

    I LOVE this post. I would love to meet loads of new people through this platform but I’ve had experience with meeting people off the Internet and having them turn out to be something else entirely. I love honesty and transparency. This post is gold.
    Beth xx
    http://Www.bethparnaby.com

  59. August 22, 2016 / 9:23 am

    Amazing read. It is the sad truth not everyone lives up to your expectations nad I have been there several times. Someone I met and spoke to for months now suddenly ignores me at every event we go to like I don’t exist and I hate it!! But I realise that people like that are going to be like that and no matter what I say it wont change them, so I just need to be loving towards others and hopefully the social climb wont become an issue!! xxx

  60. August 31, 2016 / 10:31 am

    That sucks 🙁 I have only met a handful of people through my blog and I’m glad to say they are exactly how they are online. However, I bumped into a youtuber whilst out but was too nervous to say hello. After mentioning it on their IG they deleted it, got stroppy and then ignored me. I’m not even sure why. It’s really burst my bubble about meeting people I have followed for years.

  61. September 13, 2016 / 8:35 pm

    This is a great read. I have yet to go to a blogger meet-up in my area, it’s a bit exclusive so I’m expecting to meet some people like this. your experience makes me sad just because social media gives anyone an outlet to be whoever they want to be. Hopefully, everyone can be authentic one day and be themselves because pretending isn’t cute when it comes to the face to face interaction. I hope your future events go better and if they think they’re better than you, karma… what goes around comes around. Once again, great post!

    http://www.hello-brittne.com

  62. September 19, 2016 / 1:54 pm

    I’ve met a few bloggers and thankfully all the girls I’ve met have been lovely! One I met through blogging is now one of my best friends, after learning that I was moving to the same city! I would love to meet more bloggers, but I’m afraid of having meetings like this, I’m rather anxious and avoid going to meet-ups because I’m just terrible at approaching people first! (Found a link to your post from Charlotte Steggz by the way, and now I’m in love with your blog!)

  63. Paulina S
    September 20, 2016 / 9:39 am

    HA! I love this, thanks for being so honest <3
    Paulina

  64. December 27, 2016 / 10:33 pm

    ABSOLUTELY BLOODY REFRESHING YOU’RE – THIS POST WAS EXCEPTIONAL X

  65. December 28, 2016 / 11:01 am

    Oh woooow!! I had no idea!! Crazy world, still new to this whole blogging life. If you should be at #BlogConLDN would be so cool to meet you! 🙂
    xx finja | http://www.effcaa.com

  66. January 1, 2017 / 11:27 am

    Thanks so much for sharing, has to be the best post I’ve read so far this year.

  67. March 1, 2017 / 8:33 pm

    Really interesting reading this. Am a total newcomer to the blog scene but really hoping that I can get my stuff out there and make some income from it too. So much to learn a out building a following, affiliate marketing etc. My blog is about my life and the things I like. It’s called Manupmanship but I don’t think it’s exclusively for men at all. You’re very welcome to read and comment…