7 Conversations You’ve Had If You’re Socially Awkward AF

Socially awkward isn’t something people who know of me tend to label me as. I can be confident and out-going. However people that really know me, know that sometimes even the most simple of exchanges can leave me cringing for hours afterwards. Here are a few examples that I bet you’ve had too.

Socially awkward

1. ‘You alright?’ ‘Yeah you?’ ‘I’m alright, you?’

YOU ASKED THEM AND THEY SAID YES. This exchange normally happens in passing – like when you’re walking down, what I term, the corridor of shame, at work and don’t have time for an in-depth discussion. This then means your face grimaces and your head shakes in disgust at yourself immediately afterwards.

2. ‘Sorry, keep playing footsie with you there.’

WHY. Just why. You kicked their foot a couple of times on public transport. Both parties know you didn’t mean to. You said sorry each time you did it. Why do you now feel the need to make a creepy joke? This one happened this weekend (it’s happened many, many times before) and I even followed it up with, ‘probably because you have nice feet.’ WHY.

3. The accidentally awkward overshare.

Ever go in to a shop to be greeted by a retail assistant with a, ‘hey, how are you?’ AND YOU ACTUALLY TELL THEM. ‘Good thanks. Bit of a stomach ache though.’ Or ‘yeah fine, just had an argument in Marks’s though.’ Immediately after this exchange you realise they don’t actually care and are just doing their job. Cringe City ticket for one please.

4. ‘Your name is?’ *inaudible* ‘Sorry, go again…’ *inaudible* ‘Ah cool.’

IT’S NOT COOL. You will now have to spend the rest of your aquaintanceship addressing them as ‘Mate’ or ‘Dude’. Why not just say, ‘sorry I didn’t hear that at all,’ and get them to repeat it until you’re both sure?

5. ‘Hey it’s… isn’t it?’ ‘No’

Fuuuuuck. You totally called them the wrong name. Who do you even think they are? You inevitably try and tell them why you got confused which makes it a 100 times worse. Just. Stop. Talking.

6. ‘Can you pass me that?’ *they didn’t hear you* ‘Nope…fine…ok theeen’ *Sorry I’m passing it now if you give me a sec*

You did NOT need to be that impatiently paggy. You did NOT mean for them to hear you as you clearly thought they were not listening to you in the first place. The only way out of this is to empty an yoghurt over your head and be done with it.

7. *talks about someone behind their back* *they walk in and overhear the last bit* ‘Yeah so I definitely need to get that cookie baked for the dog at church tomorrow. Oh hi, you alright?’

Serves you right for ranting about people behind their backs! But the automatic ‘I must make this less awkward by talking loudly and outlandishly’ bitching cover up is then so much more cringey than being overheard in the first place that you may as well have just fronted it out.

Tell me I’m not alone in this conversations? And PLEASE tell me you’ve had ones of your own? Tweet me your stories!

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9 Comments

  1. September 22, 2017 / 11:58 am

    I’ve stopped inquiring about acquaintances’ other halves/parents/pets because every time I ask, they have broke up with them, had a blazing row with them or, even worse, they’re are dead. This happens to me so bloody often that I began to wonder whether it was some kind of voodoo curse so I just wait now until they bring their significant others up themselves. The problem is, I hate an awkward pause in a conversation and so filling it by asking about people in their life is much easier, and a less boring topic than the weather, say.

  2. September 25, 2017 / 8:08 am

    Gosh I love this post so so much! I am socially incompetent and always seem to embarrass myself within the first five minutes of conversation..I NEVER know how to react whenever someone makes a self-deprecating joke or complains about one of their flaws because I either accidentally agree with them or do the most sarcastic sounding ‘aww that is SO not true!!’ Would love to get some social skills for christmas tbh.

    maria x (http://whatismaria.com)

  3. September 26, 2017 / 3:03 pm

    Of course I consistently get caught out ranting about someone and their best mate is standing behind me and I don’t actually hear half of convos as I’m usually daydreaming so laugh and hope I’m doing the correct social thing.

  4. September 28, 2017 / 11:25 am

    Ha number 1 is the best one, especially when you’re walking in different directions and don’t even stop walking to have the conversation 😀

  5. September 29, 2017 / 1:38 pm

    Oh dear lord I’m cringing at my own memories of all these conversations and so many more… I shouldn’t be allowed to take part in social interactions

  6. Emma Harrison
    October 6, 2017 / 9:14 pm

    That first one is the start of EVERY SINGLE phone call I have with any friend or family member! I am socially awkward AF until I get to know people a little bit, so new people I struggle with A LOT. But blogging has helped a lot in that I feel as though I get to know people before I meet them … if only the rest of life was that easy!!!!

    Emma | HarmonyBlaze.co.uk

  7. October 9, 2017 / 2:17 am

    Oh my gosh I’ve had almost all of these conversations! I can’t stand those awkward moments but it’s comforting to know most people have them too.

  8. October 16, 2017 / 1:42 pm

    Creased reading this. I relate TOO much! Why? I always make the awkward joke that just makes it weird. I also do the one where I start to tell a story, and it’s boring even to me, but then I’ve started so what do I do?! Love this post!

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