‘They are such a catch!’ The thought you feel yourself thinking when you’re presented with someone you’re interested in and start to mentally list all of their amazing qualities.
We all know the familiar feeling of staring at our phones, willing that message of validation to come through. The one that tells you, you are wanted by someone. By ‘The Catch’.
When it doesn’t come, you ask yourself why. Why aren’t you enough? Why aren’t they chasing? Why aren’t they interested? What did you do wrong? What more could you have done?
We ask ourselves these questions because we so desperately want something to happen. We like that person so much that we are just willing them to like us back. After all, they are such a catch.
As soon as we’ve matched with someone, or read a profile or swapped numbers in a bar, our innocent and loving little hearts get carried away. We project a persona onto them that we wish they would have. We will them to be the best person we’ve ever met. We imagine all of the amazing birthday presents they will eventually get us. And the great dates we will go on. We like them so bloody much that we assign them God-like statuses in our lives. Because they are such a catch.
But we forget two very important things. One being that we don’t really know them yet. Yes we may get our hopes up that our latest crush could be ‘The One’. We’re hugely attracted to them, they make us side-split with laughter and we want to smush their faces with affection. But we don’t know them. We don’t know how they speak to waiters. How they cope when their football team loses. How they speak about their ex. What they want from life. What their relationships are based on. All of these things that could be deal-breakers but that we’ve chosen not to worry about yet because we like them and want them to like us so damn much.
The other thing we forget is key. We forget that we are the catch.
We don’t know them yet but we do know ourselves. We know we’re fiercely intelligent and independent. We know we give ridiculously good head. We know we make our mates belly laugh. We know our social circles love us because we bring lots of qualities to our relationships. We know we’re kind and loving to our families and we know that we have a lot of amazing qualities to bring to a relationship.
Once we’ve remembered that we don’t know them yet but we do know ourselves and we know we’re absolutely incredible, we will begin to understand our self worth a lot more. Yes, they appear, on the surface, to be the catch you’ve been waiting for but in reality, you are the catch they have been waiting for – even if they haven’t caught you yet.