If you haven’t yet read the book, ‘The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck’, I strongly urge you to order yourself a copy sharpish. Author Sarah Knight writes about the ‘Not Sorry Method’ of giving less fucks. In short, getting rid of the things in life we give a fuck about but shouldn’t, for example – what people think and colleagues’ charity pursuits.
She inspires us to create a ‘Fuck Budget’ where you list all of the things at work and with friends and family that we give a fuck about and decide whether we should give a fuck about them or if we shouldn’t.
Knight insists ‘fucks’ should be divided into, ‘things’, ‘work’, ‘friends’ and ‘family’ and tackled in that order. There is space in the book to list all of the things you give a fuck about but shouldn’t and then next to it, space to write all of the things you’re going to give a fuck about instead. Things you SHOULD give a fuck about.
I devoured this book in about an hour on Christmas Day and it instantly gave me a new lease of life. Suddenly things that had been bogging me down over the festive period seemed inconsequential – I gave less fucks. Then I decided I wasn’t going to deface the book by writing up my fuck budget but instead I’d share it with you all here. So here we go, a list of things I normally give a fuck about but am going to stop giving fucks to, coupled with a list of things I’m going to give more fucks to.
Less Fucks: Followers – My blog has grown well this year and rather stress about OMFG why haven’t I got at least 100k on all platforms already, I’m going to stop caring as much as I physically can.
More Fucks: Interaction – I want to be better at commenting on blogs and other people’s social media.
Less Fucks: Saving – I always worry that I never have any money to fall back on and there’s a constant anxiety towards my frivolousness which inevitably stresses me out.
More Fucks: Spending better – I am known to wank £200 a month away on Ubers and takeaways and suffer the guilt afterwards. In 2017 I want to feel less guilty but also be a tad more wiser with my money and focus it on important areas like travelling, experiences and highlighter palettes.
Less Fucks: FOMO – I suffer quite badly with the devil of comparison when I see other people out and about doing all the things I wish I could do. It can make me feel bad about my life and why I’ve not got the same opportunities.
More Fucks: MMTNMO – Oh yeeeah, you can see that catching on can’t you? Making Moments To Not Miss Out is the order of 2017. Who gives a fuck what other people are doing if I’m making sure that I’m happy in my own moments?
Less Fucks: Time off – As a teacher you are guilt tripped within an inch of your life if you take a day off. The kids go hay wire, the parents are annoyed and every other member of staff is silently judging over whether you were really ill or not. I felt such guilt this year that I tried to go back to work 2 days after my Mum died and found myself trudging in every morning that I felt I might die from flu, SAD or menstrual cramps.
More Fucks: Me Time – Life is so much more than work. So many opportunities for replenishment and exploration are missed out on because of work. Yes, you need to work to live but you should never live to work. In 2017, if I need a day here or there for my own sanity or to do something that makes me truly happy, I’m going to do it completely guilt free.
Less Fucks: Paperwork – Any one who knows me, already knows how crap I am at anything teaching related other than actually doing the teaching. I spent most of 2016 boiling over all of the pointless tasks we were given and found my evenings were being spent stewing over my mountain of things that don’t directly relate to the quality of education I deliver.
More Fucks: Teaching – Unless something is going to directly benefit the children in my class, I’m just not going to do it. What’s the worst that can happen? They can’t fire me if it doesn’t come under my terms and conditions so JUST TRY ME.
Less Fucks: Social breadcrumbing – How much of 2016 have you spent sending the odd catch up text or comment to people you have absolutely no intention of seeing and give so little fucks about? I cleansed my Whatsapp of all conversation threads with people I will never make the effort to see again. Including every boy I have dated or was supposed to date who thinks it’s acceptable to message me with no intention of dating me again.
More Fucks: Reaching out – Sometimes I get so bogged down with giving fucks to people that don’t give fucks about me, that I forget to reach out to the people who do give fucks. Therefore 2017 is going to see me getting better at reaching out to friends who mean something to me and who might need checking in on more than I take for granted.
Less Fucks: Fuckboys – My standards for 2017 are upping ten fold. Can’t text me back in a timely manner? Bye. Don’t make an effort to arrange a great date? Bye. 2016 saw me spend a lot of energy on guys that ultimately just weren’t worth it.
More Fucks: Self love – Rather than waiting around for that boy to text me back or timetable my shaving and exfoliating routine on whether I have a date that week, 2017 is going to see me practising a lot more self love. Pamper nights, spa treatments, waxes and furious masturbation.
Less Fucks: Dickhead relatives – My first Christmas without my Mum was brilliant, thanks for asking.
More Fucks: Lovely relatives – The ones you ignore messages from and take for granted when all they’re trying to be is nice and caring. Well in 2017, I’m going to be equally as caring and make sure I check in with them more often.
Less Fucks: My Sister’s Dickhead boyfriend – I know she’ll read this and get totally pissed off at me but this year I have been quite mentally drained by my sister’s choice of partner. He has done some truly awful and horrible things to her, yet she stays and puts up with it. We’ve gotten into so many rows because I’ve tried to make her see sense and ultimately, I’m the one left feeling sad and frustrated.
More Fucks: Keeping my opinions to myself – because the messenger always gets shot.
So there we go! My Fuck Budget for 2017 is quite a tight one and I’m sure I’ll have to add other things to it to ensure I have a less fuck giving year.
I urge you all to read the book and create your own fuck budgets and when you’ve done that – share them with me!