As you’ll be well aware we are in a prime ‘LET ALL THE MEDIA SHAME US INTO THINKING WE NEED TO CHANGE’ time period. Magazines will be shouting at us to kick off a healthy eating plan. Instagram will be telling us we need to get ‘Summer Bikini Body Ready’ and other outlets will be trying to convince us that the New Year is the perfect time to make all the changes we need to make to have a, “happier, healthier New Year”.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m ALL about using milestones as a motivation to kick start something great. But this post is a resounding FUCK THAT to ANYONE who tells me that a New Year needs a New Me.
As women we are constantly told we need to change. To lose weight. To gain weight. To look after our skin. To eat healthier. To cut back on drinking. To get in shape for Summer. These changes are all telling us that we are no good as we are. Again, I say FUCK THAT.
Why is it that the New Year heralds a time for change? Is it because the festive period has rolled around and we’ve all turned our blood supply into pure Prosecco and roast potato and we feel a bit sluggish? Is this the prime time to make us feel so incredibly shit about ourselves, that change is the only option?
It’s very convenient that so much money is plied into an industry which perpetuates the outlook that women are nothing unless they are slim, happy, cleansed and wrinkle free beings and this industry’s biggest money making period is the New Year. To that industry I say FUCK THAT.
The New Year IS a great time for change. It’s a great time to let go of the negative emotions and experiences of the previous year. But it is NOT a time to feel pressured into changing who and what you are.
If only there was an industry that promoted LOVING YOURSELF. An industry which could make money off of people getting ‘Summer Ready’ by ensuring they are happy within themselves and are ready to enjoy a Summer of not giving a fuck about any pressures that are piled on to them. Imagine Instagram (on the whole) promoted people who are perfect JUST THE WAY THEY ARE and not perfect because they fit a certain mould and have ownership of certain belongings. But we don’t, we have one that promotes the constant need to change, so FUCK THAT.
The counter arguments to my FUCK THAT attitude will invariably include, ‘Well what if I want to use the New Year as an excuse to change for me and not for society?’ To that I ask a simple question:
- If you want to change, what is it that is making you want to change?
If your answer is, ‘I don’t feel good about myself and I believe by making X, Y and Z change, I will feel better within my soul.’ Then crack on (but I have a further question for you and it’s a BIGGIE).
Who the fuck told you that by making changes to X, Y, Z you’ll be happier because you’re not fabulous exactly the way you are?
I mean, if you’re a cold-hearted sociopath then YES PLEASE MAKE ALL THE CHANGES but if you feel like you need to lose half a stone, or grow your hair, or wear better clothes or reverse the signs of aging, who made you feel this way? Unless it’s truly you and you alone who is making you feel this way then I ask you to tell everyone FUCK THAT.
I’ve felt the same way all my life. Trust me. I’ve done the whole ‘diet starts on Monday’ thing infinitely so I get it. Society has ingrained it into me that my saddlebags are grotesque, my lips are too thin and my slowly appearing wrinkles are ugly. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t wish I looked good in a body con dress, or my lips looked like Kylie’s and I had skin as smooth and luminous as Kim’s derriere. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve realised something. I’ve realised that those things ARE NOT what make you happy. Those things you think you need to make changes on might not necessarily improve your happiness. However there is one SURE FIRE WAY to improve your happiness and I’ll detail that in a bit.
But back to the changes – I’ve had the perfect skin, the bum that everyone complimented and the size 6-8 clothes hanging in my wardrobe and I was no where near as happy in life as I am now. I’m happier because I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I’m bloody incredible JUST AS I AM. Note I didn’t use the word ‘perfect’. I didn’t use it, because no one is perfect. No matter how many Weight Watcher classes you start to attend or how many litres of almond milk instead of semi-skimmed you consume, you’re never going to have things you don’t need to work on. But those things SHOULD NEVER be determined by society or by other people.
It’s true though, I am incredible and SO ARE YOU. I may not be what society deems ‘bikini body ready’ but come March when I’m in Florida, I’m sticking a fucking bikini on. I may not be the healthiest eater or drinker but I am so much more content with a steak and creamy mash than I am with a salad and lean chicken. I may not get my 2 litres of water a day but it’s a pretty big achievement to consume a substantial amount of gin in a weekend and not die. But I’m happy within myself (still a VERY long way to go) and I’ve realised that I don’t need to keep changing with every passing year.
So here’s your SURE FIRE WAY to have a happier and healthier 2017 which doesn’t include changing a single damn materialistic or cosmetic thing about yourself…
…Say FUCK THAT to people telling you you need to look a certain way, eat a certain thing, drink a certain amount or age at a certain rate. Say FUCK THAT to anyone in your life who makes you feel any less than amazing. Once you begin to love yourself for who you are, without any changes needed, that’s when you’ll feel happier. Losing a stone or starting running even though you hate it won’t make you feel any better about yourself. But looking at yourself and all of your amazing points will. Looking at yourself and truly understanding that the sixth belly roll or the hairy top lip DO NOT MAKE YOU LESS OF A PERSON will make you happier.
I won’t be changing in 2017 but I will be growing, those growths are going to be ALLLL about being a better human. Instead of losing weight, I’ll lose more hang ups. Instead of putting on weight, I’ll put on more fucks about the world around me. Instead of living cleaner, I’m going to live happier and instead of ignoring the signs of aging, I’m going to welcome each and every moment that life brings.
Sure, grow a ‘New You’ in 2017 but please say FUCK THAT to the impossible standards women are set and resolve yourself to grow, not to change. And if you really REALLY want to make changes – make sure you’re doing them for you and only you.