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Paris In 24 Hours

Paris in 24 hours. They said it couldn’t be done. We had longer than that but most of the touristy things happened in that period. So if you also manage to bag a cheap Eurostar deal but can only go on a weekend because you’re an adult that works or a student that unis – then THIS is how you do it all.

 St James Albany Hotel Paris

London, Friday, 5pm

Arrive at Kings Cross and head straight for M&S. Train snacks are often the best part of a trip. Ideally travel with someone that understands this and spends the best part of £40 on Prosecco, cookies, sandwiches, crisps and Percy Pigs.

London, Friday, 6pm

Board the Eurostar. Preferably after spelling your travelling partner’s name correctly so you don’t get the odd looks at the gate. AUTOCORRECT IS A MOTHERFUCKER, ok?

Eurostar, The Channel, 7pm

Get absolutely smashed on the 2 bottles of Prosecco and play loud games of who can say the most embarrassing thing out loud.

Paris, Friday, 9pm

Arrive at Gare Du Nord and GET AN UBER to your hotel. Avoid the horrible taxi rank men who charge you a ‘fixed rate’ of 30 euros to get to your hotel which should only take 7 minutes in the car but actually takes 30 minutes. Lesson learned.

Paris, Friday, 9.30pm

Head inside to your hotel. We stayed at the St James Albany Spa and Hotel which was GLORIOUS. Less glorious was the sweltering temperature of the room and lack of air conditioning. Crack open all the windows, get dressed, have a severe body image breakdown, recover, head out to explore the local area.

Paris, Friday, 10pm

Find a French restaurant that looks decent. Criteria includes – laminated menu, wicker tables on the street and a bread bowl. Order a gin and tonic that costs more than your weekly Nandos and a steak with a bearnaise sauce. Receive a steak with a peppercorn sauce but eat it anyway because you’re English and polite.

Paris, Friday, 11pm

Stroll towards the Arc de Triomphe obelisky thing and get a view of the Eiffel Tower in the distance. Get excited to see the Eiffel Tower at a less distance, the next day.

Paris, Friday, 11:59pm

Head back to your furnace hotel and climb into the huge bed completely wasted still from all the Prosecco and gin. Set alarms for the morning because all the Paris needs to be done.

Paris, Saturday, 8am

Wake up and realise you’ve been bitten by mozzies. Instantly regret having windows open. Head out to find breakfast food.

Paris, Saturday, 8:14am

Find Angelina’s which is near your hotel. Order the eggs and the ‘World’s Best Hot Chocolate’. Have an orgasm in your mouth.

Paris, Saturday, 9:30am

Buy all day Metro passes and get the train to something-something Chessy aka Disneyland. Play the train game of, ‘let’s decipher what these French couple are arguing over’. Feel smug that you and your one never argue.

Paris, Saturday, 10:20am

Leave the Chessy station and run walk towards Disneyland’s entrance. Do an excitement wee. Pref not in your pants. Hold hands with your one and grin like an innocent little child.

Disneyland Paris

Paris, Saturday, 11-3pm

Go on ALL the rides. But hook yourself up with some Fastpass action. Ain’t nobody got time for queues when delicious Disney fast food needs to be eaten and rollercoasters need to be ridden. Feel a bit sick from the droppy rides. Leave.

Disneyland Paris

Paris, Saturday, 4pm

Get off the train at the Eiffel Tower stop. Come out of the station and look around. THERE IT IS. Feel all awestruck and romantic. Take a stroll closer. Tell your boyfriend how hilarious it would be if he proposed. Ignore the terrified look on his face. LOL you were just joking anyway.

Paris Eiffel Tower

Paris, Saturday, 4pm

Get back on the Metro to the Champs D’Elysees. Look at the Arc de Triomphe. Cool innit? Now stroll down the Main Street and stop in alllll the shops. Find a McDonalds to pinch wifi so you can figure out where Sephora is. Figure out it’s just next door.

Paris, Saturday, 5pm

Stop at a restaurant on the Champs for massive pizzas. Automatically go into a food coma and Uber back to your hotel.

Paris, Saturday, 6pm

Lie in your hotel bed. Vow to go to the Moulin Rouge and Monmartre at 8pm. Update your Facebook status with your plan.

Paris, Saturday, 8pm

Sack off the Moulin Rouge and decide to hit up a supermarket, buy bed snacks, soft drinks and spend the rest of the evening watching crap American TV and boning. Still tell everyone you went to the Moulin Rouge.

Paris Tuilieres

Paris, Sunday, 7am

Your 24 and a bit hours are up and it’s time to head to Gare du Nord for your Eurostar home. GET AN UBER.

Paris. DONE.

What did I miss out that I should’ve done over my weekend?

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12 Comments
  • Laurzrah
    October 18, 2017

    This post was v sexy and v funny. J’adore Paris. Only thing I didn’t see was have yourself a ‘who can eat the most croissants’ competition?? But 10 points for going straight to angelina’s. Mmmm

  • Jessica
    October 18, 2017

    Love the way you’ve written this Vix,id love to do this in a few years.Sounds like a whale of a time and fab way to get those epic insta pics!X

  • Madeleine
    October 18, 2017

    I love Paris. The Sacre Coeur is worth the hike for the views alone. And eat all the pastries, French patisseries are the best. Also all the wine.
    Never bothered with Disneyland but maybe next time.

  • Rebecca Rouncefield
    October 18, 2017

    I genuinely LOVED this. Sounds like a great – but also damn realistic – trip. Really like how you’ve set it all out too, I actually read everything because it wasn’t an extra task to plod through a giant paragraph.

    I particularly enjoyed your awkward suggestion of proposal, which is something I’ve definitely done on occasion…

    Also now kind of want to go on a long train ride too.

    Becky 🙂

  • Holly Shannon
    October 19, 2017

    Sounds like you packed a hellavalot in to your time in Paris, I think you pretty much nailed it … and made me laugh in the process 😀 Sacre Coeur should have been on the list though, it’s absolutely stunning … maybe next time? xx

  • Johanna
    October 19, 2017

    Personally I think you nailed it. I didn’t even do as much in 24 hours just visiting Cardiff so I have a lot to learn!

  • Kez
    October 19, 2017

    Great new theme- love the time updates and snappy info bits! Fun x

  • Ellis Woolley
    October 20, 2017

    This post was hilarious! I was in Paris two weeks ago & my favourite part was the Catacombs & the Louvre 🙂 we also did Disneyland, Notre Dame & Versailles but over 4 days & not 24 hours :’D very impressed by how much you got done & hope you had a wonderful time! x x
    Ellis // http://www.elliswoolley.co.uk

  • Amy
    October 20, 2017

    I love the way you’ve written this post! Honestly you didn’t miss out by not seeing the Moulin Rouge – sounds like you spent that time much more wisely! When we went to Paris I was so dead set on seeing it that we walked 30 minutes in the rain and it’s SO SMALL and not at all like the film, literally the biggest disappointment ever!
    Amy xx
    http://www.callmeamy.co.uk

  • kirsty
    October 20, 2017

    this looks like SO much fun!!!! and angelina’s is my fave!

  • Eleanor Austin
    October 21, 2017

    I bloody love how you’ve written this. Paris has never really been on my list of places I’d love to visit but not going to lie, your itinerary sounds pretty good!

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