The Ick. That insidious gut feeling that creeps in whilst dating someone that once festered means you cannot tolerate that person any more.
I’ve had The Ick on many occasions.
Once after a guy I had been seeing for 10 dates started talking in a baby voice. Instant ick.
I was on a date with a boy who flirted with a waitress. Ick.
Mid hook up and the guy decides to tell me why he can’t be a feminist because he believes in equality and that the movement undermines that. Vagina-clamming-up-ick.
The guy I was seeing who had odd mannerisms. Chandler Bing petty-ick.
But once The Ick has settled, it’s hard to get rid of.
So how do you know if you’ve got The Ick?
- You can’t find them funny any more.
- The thought of kissing them or having sex with them turns your stomach.
- Every little thing about them annoys you.
- Your eye starts to wander.
- You avoid seeing them.
- You start counting down the minutes until you can end it with them.
Sometimes The Ick comes out of nowhere. They might not have done anything wrong or out of order but it still hits you and the above symptoms are present.
What Do You Do Once You Have The Ick?
You get the fuck out. The Ick cannot be recovered. You cannot unick yourself in these situations.
You can try and convince yourself that you’re being picky, or you’re hormonal but the fact of the matter is that once the Ick has set in, there’s no getting rid.
How do you avoid the Ick?
You can’t. No one you date wears a sign around their neck that says, ‘Eventually you’ll want to vomit at the thought of me.’ Even dating people you fancy the fuck out of to begin with can sometimes turn Ick-a-licious so you just have to roll with it.
Can the Ick ever be a good thing?
A million percent yes. That guy you were with for 3 years but who left you because he just couldn’t commit? Or that person who cheated on you after 5 years? Getting the Ick about them saves any, ‘maybe we could try again?’ headfucks. This is a good Ick. The Ick that makes you so disgusted you ever went there in the first place. The Closure Ick.