When Blogging Turns You Into A Prick

Blogging is going through a weird phase currently, isn't it? You can't tell your Influencer from Instagrammer, followings are sky-rocketing overnight due to bots and buying and the Twitter community is freezing over due to lack of drama.

I don't know about you, but I feel like no-one is reading or giving a shit about me any more and I wonder if it's because I'm just not interesting or whether people are just wrapped up in their own blogs and lives that they don't have the time or purely can't be arsed to engage.

Or is this all because blogging has turned us into pricks?

Hear me out.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked Twitter for Disneyland ticket recommendations and lo and behold, a kind offer drops into my inbox. Just today I was tweeting about being too skint to get my hair did and WHADDYA KNOW another very kind offer lands in my emails.

It'd be so easy to get carried away with that wouldn't it? *tweets about being in dire need of the new iPhone X*

So here's a few words of wisdom on how not to get carried away - it's certainly helped me at times.

Do Things For The Community, Not Just Yourself

In creating The Blog Race, Laila and I wanted to introduce a fun competition that could involve the community in backing other bloggers who were setting out to create new, inspiring and challenging content.

What we hadn't prepared for was either the disinterest from those who always banged on about wanting more diversity and newer bloggers coming through or the sheer arrogance of those who thought that the competition wouldn't do anything for them so couldn't be bothered to engage.

What was lovely though was seeing a group of bloggers who are still competing in it, engaging with each other's content and sharing it widely for more people to see and love it.

Don't Be So Grabby

Is there anything grosser than attending blog events just to see people virtually climb over each other for the goodie bags?

I've been to events where 'bloggers' I've never seen before show up, steal the goodies and scarper or turn up, say hi to no-one, grab the bag and leave straight away.

YES getting all of the lovely bits and pieces really is a highlight of being a blogger but DAMN GURL YOU GON' STARVE IF YOU DON'T GET THAT MASCARA?

Furthermore, the grabbiness has started to seep over into the Twitter bloggersphere. Where my timeline used to be full of people sharing other people's content and lively discussions over a latest post - it's now growing under PR Requests and bum-licking of brands.

Do Reply To People

I know when you've made it so big and you can get that little LikeToKnow widget thing that it's ever so tempting to not reply to pleas of, 'WHERE ARE THOSE RED BOOTS FROM?' because there's no bunce in it for you if those peeps don't peep your link to your app but CHRIST just tell us.

Also, I totally get that if you're getting thousands of responses to each tweet and you're a busy, high-flying gal that it's not always possible to respond. And I certainly CBA to reply to mind-numbing tweets that are designed to wind me up BUT if someone is complimenting your content or bigging up your beauty, just a thanks will suffice. Clicking that little heart and hoping we'll go away will not.

Moreover, the bloggersphere would be less pricky if we were engaging and conversing over issues that were important to us and content that drove discussion. This can only happen if we tweet each other, comment and engage with each other positively.

Don't Get So Wrapped Up In Awards

This is massively 'pot, kettle, black' as anyone who knows me, knows how EL FUMO I get if I don't win an award. It's never even that I believe I deserve to win, because I never do, it's just me being a twin and growing up abnormally competitive.

HOWEVER, if you find yourself at a ceremony and you find yourself losing out in your category, it's probs a good idea to be genuinely happy for the winner and not eye-rolling at your plus one and leaving straight away.

ALSO it's pricky to not be humble.

Do Engage With Others Even If They'll Do Better Than You

I think the staleness in the bloggersphere at the moment, for me at least, is because no-one seems to be sharing great content any more. Everyone is more than happy to bang out 55345346 scheduled tweets of their own content but not many people seem to be retweeting and sharing other great posts into my timeline.

Is that because we've all gotten so competitive that we think if someone's post gets more than 10 RTs or more than 1,000 views then our posts will get less attention?

I, for one, know who my favourite bloggers are and I'm more than happy that they are doing things I'll never achieve - THAT'S OK BECAUSE THEY DESERVE IT. I am still going to share their shit and boost their egos because THEY DESERVE IT.

Anywho, this is a bit of a rambly one as I just wanted to get my current thoughts out there. I've written similar posts on how we can get the bloggersphere back and things bloggers do that annoy me if you want to check out those!

PLUS I'd love it if you could tweet me and let me know your thoughts, how can we, as bloggers be less pricky?

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25 Comments

  1. October 24, 2017 / 8:54 am

    Omg Vix you are BANG on the money with this – as usual. I totally feel the same about it all. SO well put! X

  2. October 24, 2017 / 9:52 am

    I know the boots reply was a little “I told you it was on my blog ffs” kind of thing,instagram is very different to other platforms.A lot of people aren’t following your other socials,so when they ask a question about something you’re showing,it shouldn’t be a problem.Unless you’re not getting any clicks and are desperate…but i doubt she isn’t.
    I don’t think you should feel like you cant take offers in fear itll start to make you out to be some blogger princess!Anyone who has read your blog for a while can tell you put in so much hard work and damn well deserve that hair pampering and day to disney!Reap the rewards of hard graft Vix!
    As for blogger drama,it really has not died!I had to mute a few people on twitter because they were just constantly tweeting out shit!I understand the whole you cant have positive vibes 24/7 but my god some people will moan about fucking anything!
    I would love to know why people use bots,everyone knows we can sus it a mile away.Engagment is a huge giveaway,15k insta following and avg 100 likes a photo?!I can’t even tell you how hard it is to gain even a 100 followers in a month,posting everyday,hours of engaging and still feel like your shit…
    I love retweeting the blogs i read,who doesn’t.Since my break in my blog,my view completely changed and im just happy to still have genuine people to chat with about shit but i see it all the time with bigger bloggers not really taking the time to reply to someone’s questions etc.As for people abusing events,i hope those shitheads never get invited to one again!Events are about brands and making more friends,they dont understand how lucky they’re to even get the opportunity to meet people they’ve connected with over social media.It makes me so sad!Anyway sorry for they long comment,hope you and the boyf are good x

  3. October 24, 2017 / 11:00 am

    I loved this post! I do my best to share posts I’ve loved on Twitter and on my blog too and I must admit, I find it quite sad and off-putting sometimes when I share people’s content saying how fab it is and don’t even get a thank you! If anyone says nice things about my blog etc, I always try to say thank you and tell them it’s appreciated x

  4. October 24, 2017 / 11:27 am

    I love this! Hannah Gale tweeted the link to this and I’m glad I found you… hi! I’m now your newest follower. Keep up the good fight 💪🏼😉

  5. October 24, 2017 / 11:36 am

    I’ve only been blogging two years but it’s definitely been changing in the time I’ve been around. I’ve recently seen a surge of Facebook groups for bloggers where people are saying “I’ve written two posts, what should I charge for a sponsored post?” GAH! xx

  6. October 24, 2017 / 11:37 am

    Praise be for this post! I too have noticed how “pricky” the ol’ Bloggosphere has been getting and the stalemate of people trying to boost themselves, whilst not supporting others. We all want to grow and we can do that by clubbing together, but it seems a culture of not following someone will help your blog grow?! It’s a bizarre logic. I love to like, share, retweeted as much as possible – it’s a nice non-pricky thing to do! In fact, I’m going to share this post to get the message out 😉

    Thanks for sharing,

    Leigh at Fashion Du Jour LDN x
    http://www.fashiondujour.co.uk

  7. October 24, 2017 / 11:42 am

    This is so true! My biggest gripe is when bloggers who I’ve been reading and engaging with for years (people I’d kinda consider friends) suddenly act distant once they gain a few more followers.
    I’ve been really enjoying your posts lately tbh. I like how you say it how it is and don’t try to sugar coat things.

    http://www.theemeralddove.co.uk

  8. October 24, 2017 / 11:57 am

    This post is super accurate, Vix. Although it’s not nice to admit, things have been more self-indulgent of late and I’ve definitely noticed the lack of community.

    One thing I’ve been doing these last few months has been being more honest in blogging. I haven’t been following people back on Insta if I don’t like their content, I haven’t been commenting on blog posts that don’t evoke anything in me BUT I’ve been heavily engaging with the things I love – that sort of thing.

    At first, I felt a bit mean, but then I realised that by being honest I was giving my energy and time (to read, scroll, engage) to the right people for me. Since then I’ve built up online friendships, grown my blog and *enjoyed* it all a lot more – basically making ME less like a prick who engages with things falsely and follows back automatically out of fear.

    There’s still a long way to go, but with The Blog Race and starting conversations like this, 👆 I think we might get there eventually – at least in part.

    Becky 🙂

  9. October 24, 2017 / 12:11 pm

    This has totally reminded me of a couple of events I’ve been to in the past where I’ve watched some bloggers walk in, take a goody bag and walk back out. It’s not only the height of rudeness, but also terribly short-sighted. This is a relatively small industry, if you behave like a douche it will get noticed and noted. Why would anyone want to work with unprofessional bloggers when they are so many other great creators out there.
    Silly people.

  10. October 24, 2017 / 12:45 pm

    I think there used to be quite the little community in blogging but now it’s more of a competition… and not necessarily a friendly one. Instead of being all about ourselves, we should totally be about girl power and supporting each other.

    Steph x
    http://www.wanderlustpulse.com

  11. October 24, 2017 / 12:55 pm

    Gosh so true ! Have been blogging for just over 3 years now and even so its not actually a long time the community changed a lot since then and I have to admit I miss the ‘old ‘ days ! I used to have so many comments , discussions etc. now they just a rarity also I often re-tweet great blog posts…but people never do with mine …I have to say its easy to fall into the habit of ‘let yourself go’ and not be bothered by sharing great posts etc. because you never get a thanks or …well nothing in return !!! also I lost the amount of time I engaged with someone tweets and I will, in 99% of the time, get NO reply. I fond it frustrating and it make me more selfish as now I almost don’t do it ( I think more about me and my blog …sorry but the ‘community’ make me do it) because I feel like i am just wasting my time and to be cleared those people i send tweets to are not ‘famous bloggers’ with 100k of followers they just people with a manageable amount of followers just like me. Same with their blogs ! I still comments on many blogs because well i love reading blogs but it is true that i get rarely replies those days. 🙁

    https://allornothing-blog.blogspot.co.uk/

  12. October 24, 2017 / 1:31 pm

    Oh my! This post couldn’t be any more true if you tried. I remember the days where bloggers used to help out others by sharing a post now and then. Now a days it seems more and more people are choosing the path of blogging as a way to get freebies. True bloggers know that there are no such thing as freebies in the blogging world.
    Where has the love gone? The majority is all self now.

  13. October 24, 2017 / 3:08 pm

    Completely agree about engagement. Bloggers only seem to share their own content. If I follow a blogger who only schedules tweets full of their own posts over and over on a loop, I’ll unfollow them.

    Any posts I share have an individual, unique tweet with them, and I try to engage with other bloggers, leave comments, etc.

    Great post!

  14. October 24, 2017 / 3:48 pm

    The blogosphere definitely feels very competitive at the moment and although competitiveness isn’t always a bad thing there does seem to be less of people bigging each other up for sure. I was really surprised at the Blog Race – I was sat ready to join in with the first Twitter chat but then nobody who wasn’t part of it seemed to be joining in – it would be great if it could become a real chat between everyone who’s read the content that week (as I’m sure lots of people are!).
    Amy xx
    http://www.callmeamy.co.uk

  15. October 25, 2017 / 11:31 am

    This is such a good post! I agree with every single point! I haven’t experienced personally any of the negative sides of blogging but I’ve seen it and it’s not nice. I honestly feel that we all are here doing things we love and share things in common so why not support each other?!
    Jess x

  16. October 25, 2017 / 12:21 pm

    Well I LOVED this post and I feel like there is a bit of staleness and prick’ishness within blogging, but I kind of try and turn away from that. I do feel that people are engaging less and less but maybe that’s just with my blog, but things like Instagram’s algorithm changes don’t really help either because I want to engage with people’s content on their, but the stupid app has made it even harder now!

    Julia // The Sunday Mode

  17. October 25, 2017 / 1:27 pm

    Bloody LOVED this post Vix! My life has been so hectic since I moved in summer, and to be honest I’ve felt so down a lot of the time, so I haven’t really been blogging apart from the odd post here and there. I remember what an uplifting place the Blogosphere was when I started out, and I used to share the content of my faves until the cows came home, as well as comment on the daily. My aim is to try to get back into it in November, and I’ll be keeping this post in mind.

    Kara
    http://www.spreadthesparkle.co.uk
    💗

  18. Jessica
    October 25, 2017 / 4:29 pm

    YAS VIX! You are slaying at the moment. I totally agree with people not wanting to share others content incase they do better. Like, there is enough internet space to go around people. Just because someone is doing amazing, doesn’t mean you can’t too!

    xoxo
    J
    The Crown Wings

  19. October 26, 2017 / 9:14 am

    This couldn’t have been said better by anyone else, everyone seems so wrapped up in their own ‘success’ these days which just makes it more difficult to build relationships with other bloggers

  20. October 26, 2017 / 1:10 pm

    I feeeeel you. I’ve recently found myself shying away from everything because it’s was getting a little competitive & everyone was trying to out do each other and I am not here for it.
    I personally needed a little break. I cleared a few people from Twitter and insta for a fresher feed & now see lots of babes being super supportive which I love. I’m super lucky and met a really great friend through blogging and when either of us isn’t feeling it we have a coffee and shopping day and build each other back up. Also, if we come across something that would be a perf blog post for the other we whatsapp that shit straight away!
    I’m not here to compete, or for freebies or to think I deserved that opportunity more than them. I’ll read comment and give a little cyber high 5.
    Emily-may x

  21. October 29, 2017 / 10:01 pm

    I can definitely hold my hands up and say, my god, I am one of these pricks sometimes! I get so terrified that I’m not putting out enough content that I forget about all the incredible content that’s right in front of my eyes that I should be shouting about! Definitely need to start getting more into the bloggers world again, because it can be great!

    Great post my doll, fabulous as always!

  22. October 30, 2017 / 5:48 pm

    I’ve been wondering for quite some time what it is about the bloggosphere right now, especially on Twitter. Everything just feels a little meh and I can’t put my finger on it but you’ve just nailed it completely, along with making me chuckle (I LOVE the way you write!). It feels so competitive right now, especially when it comes to people retweeting their own work and not giving a flying fuck about supporting their fellow bloggers x x
    Ellis // http://www.elliswoolley.co.uk

  23. November 1, 2017 / 5:50 pm

    Bloody love this post! I started blogging about 18 months ago or so, mostly just to put into words what I couldn’t express verbally. Amazingly I found many people related to what I was trying to say. However, my general experience of blogging hasn’t been particularly positive – I find that I will often share/comment on other people’s posts, but very rarely get even an acknowledgement of it, let alone a ‘thank you’ or any of my posts commented on/shared! It does really feel like everyone is in it for themselves which I guess is absolutely fine, I think I’ll just keep on blogging to help me express how I’m feeling and sharing what I think are great blogs!

  24. November 3, 2017 / 5:12 am

    As a complete newbie to the blogging world, this is exactly everything I do NOT want to become! Love the no BS approach

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