10 Things That Will Give You A Wide On

In dating, you’re used to being on the receiving end of shitty behaviour. Anything from being stood up to waiting days for messages. So when the person you’re chatting to actually comes up with the goods, it results in the biggest wide on ever. So here are some things that’ll get those juices flowing whilst dating.

dating, love, advice

Morning Messages
Ugh I’m so frigging basic it hurts but for some reason, waking up to message that includes good morning wishes gives me goosebumps. I think it’s the feeling of knowing that someone is thinking of you that makes you all giddy with excitement.

There’s nothing that makes my bits shrivel more than a lack of assertiveness. When you’re trying to organise dates and the person you’re organising with can’t bolt down a day, time or activity it’s so dull. You want someone who’s, ‘Dinner, Friday, 8pm,’ not, ‘Meh, don’t mind, whenever.’

A text to check you’ve got home OK. One to say they’ve had a good time. A call to ask you out again. A word of thanks to the barman. A show of manners is very attractive. You know you all have that little clit chill when he remembers his Ps and Qs. Especially if it’s towards your granny. Where *is* that lady boner emoji?

Dance Moves
I’ve been on a date where the guy stood stock still whilst I busted out full Beyonce and it dampened my squib quicker than you can ask, ‘Who Runs The World?’ Whereas I’ve also been on a date where we completed the Hotline Bling dance routine at 3am and it was all I could think about the next day. Apparently being a good dancer means you’re a rocket in the sack so your brain immediately makes those links.

Keenness But Not Neediness
Treating em mean and keeping them keen only works to some extent. Sure, you don’t want someone professing their love on the first date but suggesting date number 2 fairly early on is exciting. However someone who starts gushing about how amazing you are and sends every cutesy emoji whilst giving a pet name will not get you gushing.

No one likes a cocky fuckboy. One that professes to be a 9.5 in the sack but can barely muster up a 2.5 and we’re not just talking performance. But having the confidence to say what you want and bigging up your attributes gets our fannies fluttering much faster than someone who is overly self deprecating. There’s only room for one neurotic fuck up in this relationship sunshine!

I’m not talking about a delivery of Anastasia Beverly Hills on my doorstep but HELLO GET ME A MAN WHO’LL DO THAT. I’m talking about dates where you have absolutely no expectations and are then pleasantly surprised. I’ve had dates where I’ve bigged it up massively in my head only to get there and feel crushingly disappointed but at any time where I’ve gone on the date and the guy has beaten all expectations, I’m immediately hooked. Don’t you think the unpredictability adds that extra summin summin?

You can’t take your Love Island looking gym bunnies with glowing tans and muscles for DAYZ and shove them because if someone doesn’t have a great sense of humour or the ability to make us curl up with laughter then we’re just not interested. They do have to literally laugh us into bed.

I’m not saying we all fancy a slice of Mr Cambridge-Two-Degrees but being able to hold an intellectual conversation with someone about things other than who won the league or what burger toppings to order makes us squeeze our thighs together that little bit tighter.

I’m going to dry up quicker than Theresa May’s election campaign if a guy even thinks about making any sort of sexist remark. I’ve been on dates where guys ogle at every girl who walks past, or calls their ex’s bitches or judges a woman for sleeping with them too early and it’s libido-wrecking. But hearing someone discuss feminist issues with informed opinions, as well as an awareness of their own privilege is going to get those juices flowing.

Whatever it is – punk, preppy or Poundland chic, if someone has their own sense of style that makes them look confident and at ease with themselves then that is hella sexy. Turning up to a date and seeing them dressed in a way that makes them look well put together is going to make me wondering if they’re that well put together underneath in no time.

I think you’ll all agree that these things make us go weak at the knees but are there any other things that get you omgdhsIhatethewordMOIST? If so, give me a shout on Twitter or in the comments – I’d love to know!

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  1. Lisa
    June 12, 2017 / 9:30 am

    YES to all of the above. I’ve always said that, even if a guy has not impressed me on a date, if he can dance, he can do anything to me haha x

  2. Rosie
    June 12, 2017 / 1:14 pm

    A passion of some sort, be it football, music, fishing – whatever – is important. Also, a casual approach to PDAs – i.e. will happily take your hand or pull you in for a cheeky peck as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

  3. June 16, 2017 / 1:17 pm

    Absolutely loved this Vix, bloody fantastic summary and I couldn’t agree more with all of them. I’d say communication is key as well. Not all the time at the beginning but i honestly can’t stand someone who forgets to text back or can go days on end without speaking. Being passionate about what they do, or something they enjoy is really good too, I seriously get turned on by listening to someone who’s interesting and positive and excited to have a conversation about the things they love most in the world! Alice xxx


  4. June 18, 2017 / 12:10 am

    This is just Mr Perfect here. If only we could get a laboratory and make our own partners. One thing I’ll add when they pick up on little things you do-like for me, a guy has picked up that I always use the wrong key-everytime and that I hide behind my hair. Like urhfshjfhfjkfdh you notice me!!

    oh and I LOVE your new blog layout. Looking fresh and fleeky!

    Katie x


  5. Ellis Woolley
    June 21, 2017 / 9:50 am

    I’m in love with the way you write…I find myself sat here with the biggest smile on my face the entire time, chuckling away at how REAL all of this is! x
    Ellis // http://www.elliswoolley.co.uk

  6. July 5, 2017 / 7:41 pm

    I loved this post Vicky, your writing is so lovely! You basically described Mr. Perfect for me. So glad to finally catch up on your blog again! 🙂 xx Laura