I wrote this post whilst on the plane on the way home from Vegas. I still haven’t adjusted to being on home soil and there’s so much going on with the house renovation, getting ready to go back to school and the Blogger Beauty Box that I haven’t had time to write up the 4753 posts in my drafts.
I don’t know why a 9 hour flight made me think of those horrifically vivid childhood moments but here they are for you to enjoy and see just how I OWNED growing up.
I have no photos from growing up so here’s another pretty from my holiday.
1. Biting my twin sister on the bum, in frustration, when my Grandad was looking after us at the age of 5. She cut my fucking Barbie’s hair off, the little bitch!
2. Calling my sister a cow whilst wearing a satin dress at 10 years old. She pushed me down the stairs. I slid down them and ended up in a crumpled mess on the floor.
3. Forcing a friend to be ‘Scary Spice’ during a sleepover reenactment. We back-combed her 2 foot long hair into a giant afro and she was so disturbed at trying to comb it back out that she ran from my bathroom, tripped over, ripped her tights and farted. Sorry Annette! You looked amazing though. *shrug*
4. Saying yes to every boy who asked me out at secondary school, only to be dumped a day later. Once by Valentine’s card at a Valentine’s Day assembly. THANKS JAMES. Actually, every boy I went out with at high school (well, all 3… shut up, I was a late developer) is now gay. So there’s that for the self esteem.
5. Convincing my Mum to buy me gold football boots because they looked HELLA fly with my Kappa tracksuit bottoms that had poppers from the ankle to the vagina.
6. Going dressed as Stephanie McMahon to my high school prom. I wore a pinstripe waistcoat, trousers, pink shirt, ankle boots and had my hair in half corn rows with the rest crimped. Puberty on fleek.
7. Not persevering with my wrestling fan site – hhhandstephanie.com – my DA would be in the hundreds by now and I would easily have 100x the readers I had back then. Which would be about 100 now
8. Pouring Ribena over a girl after my team lost a netball tournament final. In my defence, our team were in Year 6 and their team, although supposed to be in Year 6, snuck in some 14 year older siblings. Still, not cool though Meldge.
9. Being such a fussy eater that on a school residential trip I ate only KitKats and Discos for 3 days straight. The amount of times my Mum had to send back a Maccy Ds burger because it had ketchup on. In fairness, what even is ketchup except the juice of a demon?
10. Going front first down a water slide with my cousins only to come up for air and my Uncle to shout across the crowded park, “Vicky! Your left tit!”
I don’t know about you guys but as you can tell, I completely rocked my childhood.
What are your biggest growing up regrets?
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