Why it’s never ‘just texts’

Pegan. I’m disgusted with myself for saying that word. The word that means Pete and Megan but also means so much more. The utterance of this word means one thing only. I watch TOWIE. Yep it’s out there now. TOWIE. And I’ve loved and watched it for years. As dire as it is, it’s like that lame friend you have nothing in common with but can’t let go.

Anyway back to Pegan. If you’re not aware of the current storyline; Megan has read texts to other women off Pete’s phone. Texts where he’s flirting and telling these women he wishes he was single.

It’s just texts, he states.

It’s never just texts.

It’s a betrayal of trust. It’s sneaky and secretive. It’s looking outside of a committed relationship for attention and an ego stroke. These are far bigger problems than what appears on the face of it.

Having been on the receiving end of the, ‘it’s just texts,’ bullshit line, where the text read, ‘I can’t wait to fuck you again,’ and bruv, I’m not stupid, I can safely say that ‘just texts’ is never just that.

The types of ‘just texts’ you can come across vary. It might be complimenting another person. Somewhat fine. We all think other people are fit. But what’s the motivation there? Are they seeking compliments back or trying to make someone think about them in a romantic way?

It might be a text that bemoans your relationship. You’re the one putting up with his skid marks on the loo or her incessant whinging but they’re telling another person that you’re boring or you always argue. Tell that to my face though, they wouldn’t dare!

In a lot of cases, it’s straight up sexting. There describing all the oral they want to give another person when you’re lucky to receive two pumps and a squirt. In that case – what’s the intention? In my mind, they have either already have sex or they intend to.

These texts don’t mean ‘just texts’. What they mean to say is: it’s just attention seeking, it’s just boredom, it’s just looking for excitement, it’s just flirting or it is actually JUST fucking.

All of these issues are big in relationships and issues of which I personally think anyone shouldn’t ever put up with.

7 billion people on the planet and you’re going to settle for the one who wants textual attention off Becky with the Good Hair?

The counter argument is, that Megan shouldn’t have looked in Pete’s phone. That was the first thing my ex said when I found messages. But something was telling me he was up to no good and I knew the answers lied in his messages. I’ve also been with guys I completely trust and haven’t ever felt the urge to look. A woman’s intuition is TOTALLY a thing.

Always tell yourself, if you’re ever in this awful situation, that it’s not just texts. If they are issues you think you can surmount, then try it chica but NO ONE would judge you for kicking someone’s ass to the kerb over ‘just texts.’

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  1. Lexie
    October 21, 2016 / 7:29 am

    "7 billion people on the planet and you’re going to settle for the one who wants textual attention off Becky with the Good Hair?"… BRILLIANT! Your blog is the best Vix X

  2. Tea, Cake and Make
    October 21, 2016 / 8:02 am

    I always have the view that if it’s ‘just texts’, then your partner should see them and they won’t be an issue – I always show my partner my texts with my male friends in particular, since I had a paranoid ex who was actually cheating on me (hence the paranoia), and I’m always fully open about things!

    You’re fully right about this Vix, it’s never ‘just texts’ when it’s a situation like that!!

  3. Jamie
    October 21, 2016 / 9:45 am

    That’s not women’s intuition. It’s a bad relationship. My ex used to do it to me all the time too, with exactly the same line. I didn’t look through her phone, or (as a man) – use any women’s intuition. But I did realise she wasn’t worth wasting any more of my time on.

    Liars be liars, they don’t change. Just find new ways of manipulating the truth.

  4. Bobby tupper
    October 21, 2016 / 11:42 am

    Lay in his messages vix x

  5. Kirsty
    October 21, 2016 / 1:04 pm

    I say, if your partner is forever on their phone (this isn’t a crime – it’s a generation thing) but is overly protective of it/won’t leave it out of their sight AND is just being off in general, you have a right to look. There’s no point just outright asking them what’s up, they will only lie anyway.

    You’re so right Vix, it is never ‘just texting’


  6. Lisa Santos
    October 21, 2016 / 8:41 pm

    Flirting with someone with texts isn’t just texts. I couldn’t live with that really. I would turn my back as soon as I would find out about that. When there is true love and plans for a future life together, there should be no need to flirt with another person.
    I also think that people should have their privacy and no one should go over their things but in a relationship where your partner is overprotective when it comes to his/her phone, you just know something is going on. It is a difficult subject and there will always be someone that will judge you no matter what attitude you have.
    If it was me, if I felt something was wrong, I would check his phone or laptop because I’d rather be that "b*tch" that goes through is things than the silly, sad girl that was cheated on and she didn’t even realize.


  7. Exhibit A
    October 24, 2016 / 12:16 pm

    My view on this has always been that if you look through your partner’s phone/email behind their back and find something really bad, you have every right to be angry – infidelity is a bigger relationship crime than invasion of privacy – BUT by the same token, if you check up on them like that and don’t find anything, you should absolutely ‘fess up and accept that they have a right to be angry with you for doing it. It’s the gamble you take when you act on what may or may not be reasonable suspicions.