Things that don’t make you a slut

I’m writing this at 2am, squinting at my phone screen and basically in a massive hump. An hour ago, a guy replied to one of my tweets, I thought he seemed cool so I checked out his blog. The first article that appeared was a list post on what women shouldn’t do on dates. Now I loves me a list. What I then read was the biggest amount of woman-hating tosh I have ever had the misfortune to lay my eyes on. I’m not linking because I don’t want to give the ‘writer’ any attention. But as a response, here are a few things that DON’T make you a slut. Because SLUT is a word that should never be used, unless in some form of MUTUALLY AGREED kinkyfuckery.

Photo credit: Caitlin ย  Photo credit: Caitlin

The way you dress. You want to go on your date wearing a turtle neck, skirt and tights so that the only skin that’s showing is your Xmas double chin? Cool. (Hello my go to date outfit). You want to go on a date wearing a low cut bralet that shows off your boobs and your belly AND a tiny leather mini skirt. ALSO COOL because GIRL you got it going on. Don’t keep that shit covered up.

The language you use. You want to drop every swear bomb going and chat about all of the naughty things you’ve done in the bedroom?ย  Cool. You’re comfortable in your sexuality and you don’t mind expressing that. NOT A SLUT.

The amount of drink you consume. Girl, you’re out for the night. You’ve been working all week and it’s time to let your hair down. So what if you drink 12 Pornstar Martinis, fall asleep in the bog and then fall down a flight of stairs, you’re having fun! If the guy you’re on a date with really likes you, he’s seen you at your worst, it can only get better! If he doesn’t, you’ve had a great night and the bruises for an entertaining story. STILL NOT A SLUT.

The decision to sleep together. You literally met 4 hours ago for the first time but during the 4 hours you’ve spent together, you’ve realised you like each other, you fancy each other and you might like to see each other naked a little bit. THIS DOES NOT MAKE YOU A SLUT. Go and have the sex. You might like it, he might not. He might totally dig it, you might not be impressed with his stamina. You might both enjoy it and want a repeat performance. You may never speak to each other again. STILL NOT A SLUT. This bullshit that’s bandied around about men not wanting to wife someone up who shagged them on the first date needs to remain in the dark ages. If a man (or woman for that matter) thinks that, they are an immature knob. If a guy really likes you, he’ll want to see you more REGARDLESS of if you’ve slept with him. (Unless you tried that bum thing on him that he wasn’t sure about.*) AND if a man EVER thinks that you’re not girlfriend or wife material because you’ve ridden it, my Pony, HE AIN’T THE ONE. I’m going to hazard a guess he’s shit in bed anyway.

*joking

The quicker we get these STUPID anti-women thoughts out of our heads, the happier we will all be. It’s 2016 and it’s about time we all agreed that a woman can do whatever the fuck she wants without fear of judgement.

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36 Comments

  1. fii
    January 19, 2016 / 2:33 am

    "The language you use. You want to drop every swear bomb going" YAS. It’s pretty much a ‘if you can’t handle fuck being every second word in a sentence if I’m even mildly nervous (and fuck the fucking fuck fuck fuck being a very real phrase I say a lot)’ then bb boy we ain’t gon work boo.

    URGH SO IRKED
    BUT URGH THIS POST. SO MUCH TRUTH. I’MMA SLEEP WITH A ‘ONE FOR WOMENKIND FUCK YES’ SMILE TONIGHT.

    Fii xo {www.littlemissfii.co.uk}

  2. January 19, 2016 / 6:30 am

    You are a spirit animal to so many women, Vix. Amen. Amen to ALL of this!

    "Go have the sex." Ahaha, I chuckle every time I hear this phrase. Love it.

    Shae xo
    <a href=http://beautypadawan.blogspot.com>Diary of a Beauty Padawan</a>

    • Vicky Jones
      Author
      January 19, 2016 / 12:32 pm

      Thank you! Go and have the bloody world.

  3. Jessica
    January 19, 2016 / 8:00 am

    Totally feel you. If I want seven double gin and tonics, I will have them. Nobody asked you to pay for them so sit and be happy with my alcohol consumption.

    Jess x

    http://www.jessicajoseph.co.uk

    • Vicky Jones
      Author
      January 19, 2016 / 12:32 pm

      Haha yes I do want 7 double G&Ts…

  4. January 19, 2016 / 9:25 am

    YES! I hate when you see guys calling girls sluts for doing whatever the fuck they want, but then they boast about sleeping with every tom, dick and harry in the neighbourhood. It’s such a double standard and I’m so sick of it!! Guys like that are usually the ones who are just grouchy because they aren’t getting laid. Boo to them & great post!!

    Courtney .. http://www.prettymadthings.com .. xo

    • Vicky Jones
      Author
      January 19, 2016 / 12:31 pm

      Yep and girls who judge other girls are normally the ones no one wants to shag… Just sayin!

  5. Allie Cleve
    January 19, 2016 / 9:38 am

    Yes yes and YES! I love the hypocrisy in the whole ‘if she sleeps with you on the first date she’s not girlfriend material’ thing. Like, you literally slept with her?? Does that mean you’re not boyfriend material then? Men need to explain this shit lol

  6. Majean G
    January 19, 2016 / 11:03 am

    Woohoo! Consider that a standing ovation from me!! Seriously, we as women have so many expectations thrown at us that we don’t know whether we’re coming or going (pun intended ;)) My motto: do what floats your boat cause baby, life has no do overs and we’re all fabulous!

    http://www.majeang.com

    • Vicky Jones
      Author
      January 19, 2016 / 12:31 pm

      Haha such a great motto!

  7. Alice Lucie
    January 19, 2016 / 12:13 pm

    THIS IS THE BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD
    Vix, you’re a genius. I am SO sharing this. xx

    Alice | daintyalice.com

  8. WhatLydDid
    January 19, 2016 / 12:24 pm

    There is a lifestyle blogger who writes lists, and she is hilarious and fashionable and real and wins awards and goes on paid holidays to America…

    And your content is just as awesome as hers. You’re both full of sass and confidence and strong opinions, and you talk about things that girls (and guys) really, truly relate to. Things that make us laugh or breathe a sigh of relief.

    I wish you all the success of this other blogger, because you are fab.

    • Vicky Jones
      Author
      January 19, 2016 / 12:30 pm

      Aw thank you! I’m glad people can relate and I’m not just spewing garbage.

  9. Little Miss Katy
    January 19, 2016 / 12:36 pm

    This is amazing. You’re amazing. And I’m obsessed with your blog at the moment <3

  10. Frankie Winter
    January 19, 2016 / 2:08 pm

    Fuck yes. All stuff we shouldn’t have to remind people of in 2016. ๐Ÿ˜€

  11. January 19, 2016 / 2:45 pm

    This post is hilarious. You’re hilarious. I love your lists but I mostly love how amazing you are and how genuine you are. I think it’s important to have people out there, and bloggers, that people can look up to. That defend women and rights before anything else. And that does so with outstanding with!

    I love you okay.

    <a href="http://www.ellapinto.com">Ella Pinto</a> xx

    • January 19, 2016 / 2:46 pm

      Well my link failed and I had no idea that’s how your html comment worked ahahaha. I’m embarassed now.

  12. Ese Janta
    January 19, 2016 / 3:32 pm

    Hahahahahahha you know what this post is just awesome… There is not rule book that’s states or list SLUT behaviour so guys need to chill with that while slut calling business.. You’ve written well ??????

    Ese Janta from
    http://www.esejanta.co.uk

  13. Victoria Nightingale
    January 19, 2016 / 5:09 pm

    You go girl, there’s definitely far too much slut shaming around. Also hilarious as always! x

    vvnightingale.com

  14. January 19, 2016 / 5:50 pm

    Ahh this was just brilliant!

  15. January 20, 2016 / 12:01 am

    Amen

  16. Rosie B
    January 20, 2016 / 6:59 am

    Exactly!

    The only thing worse than guys slut-shaming is when women do it too. I have seen too many girls using these standards to judge women.

    I find the term repellent on every level!

  17. Daizy| Zya&Daizy
    January 23, 2016 / 11:09 am

    Amen to that! We can wear what we want, we shouldn’t be judged cause of it! If i want to cover up all my skin then fine! If i want to flash a bit of belly that’s fine too! 100% agree with all of this.
    Slut shaming needs too stop.

    great post,
    http://www.ZyaandDaizy.wordpress.com

  18. January 23, 2016 / 2:14 pm

    OMG I couldn’t agree more! Literally the more I hear people talk about this is really does irk me! I mean come on people I thought we were in the modern age! What get’s me more than anything is the double standards!
    MALE
    – You drink 12 pints – LEGEND
    – You hit that sweet ass first night – LEGEND
    – Dropping every F & S at every instance in the convo – LEGEND
    – 3 shirt buttons undone so the girls can see your bush or bare chest – LEGEND
    FEMALE
    – Any of the above – SLUT!
    Seriously I don’t think half of the people that use that word for descriptive and derogatory purposes instead of like you mentioned ‘mutually agree kinkyfuckery’ (love that description!!!!) then DONT USE IT!!!

    Great post once again ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. Albertine
    January 23, 2016 / 11:50 pm

    Popped over here from Becky’s blog and I really enjoyed this post!

    I hate when people use the term ‘slut’ to describe girls, also grates on me when people say ‘well that’s not very ladylike’ -_- why do we all have to be prim and proper?!

    Albertine

    http://www.dippywrites.com

  20. Kimberley
    January 24, 2016 / 5:10 pm

    This is the best thing I’ve ever read! I slept with my ex-boyfriend on the first date, didn’t make me a slut! It did turn out that he was a lying cheating scumbag but yknow, I’m STILL NOT A SLUT hahaha. Preach it xx

    Kimberley // thecolourchronicles.com

  21. January 24, 2016 / 7:39 pm

    Amen! I love all your posts, they are so fun and witty. xx

  22. Jayne
    January 30, 2016 / 1:12 am

    YES to all of this! I am sick and tired of seeing slut-shaming everywhere, from both men and women, and that awfully sexist opinion that states men can have sex with multiple people but when women do the same they are are a slut, it’s double standards and it’s vile – people should be able to do what they want regardless of gender as long as it is not hurting anyone x
    <a href=http://www.electraviolet.co.uk>
    electraviolet.co.uk</a>