10 things I hate about Instagram

I’m quite late to the Instagram party and only really created a profile to stalk various members of the Kardashian family (not Rob) but as I slowly started to follow my fellow blog friends, I became more and more obsessed with it.

I will check Instagram every few minutes if I’m not at work, terrified to miss a post, but with this obsession, a hatred as been born. A hatred of sins I see others AND myself committing.

Photo credit: Caitlin at Through the Mirror Photo credit: Caitlin at Through the Mirror

So here are 10 things I really don’t like about everyone’s favourite flattery seeking platform.

1. Girls who show their #OOTD, sprawled across the floor, facing a full length mirror. I can’t help but feel that the awkward pose they get themselves into, to show every item of clothing, resembles what happens when I’ve come home drunk, fallen over and look horrifyingly into my mirror, quietly contemplating what the fuck I’m doing with my life.

2. People who wear their gifted Olivia Burton/Daniel Wellington watches at unnatural angles to best show off the face, a green smoothie and their crisp white bed linen.

3. Bedrooms that look like they have been lit by the shining arses of 1000 glow worms when it’s 6am, dark outside and it’s been grey out for 4 days. I mean, who has the energy to set up studio lighting to photograph themselves ‘just waking up with a cup of coffee and a magazine’.

4. Product placement. Oh you so happened to bring your packet of organic body scrub to brunch and place it in your avocado, salmon and sourdough bread flatlay?

5. Food that looks like it’s gone cold and a little bit congealed because you took 45 minutes to perfectly stack bacon and fried eggs and wipe the pulp from the side of your orange juice glass because God forbid your Wetherspoons breakfast doesn’t photograph well.

6. ‘Today’s face’ which is a perfectly arranged flat lay of about 36 products that you most definitely haven’t put on your face today, because it’s a Sunday and you’re still in PJs but got to get that Benefit tag in there somewhere.

7. #WIWT = #The nicest clothes I have in my wardrobe,Ā  perfectly styled with accessories I actually never wear that I will then most definitely change out of in 4 minutes so I can take this poxy bra off and put my sweats back on.

8. My #FOTD which is always more make up than I would even wear on a night out but the lighting’s good, I wanted a selfie and I will painstakingly remove it all straight away.

9. Celebrities that are so famous that they don’t have to care about a themed grid. They can literally post a blurred picture of the rain outside a window and get 60,654 likes. Whereas my perfectly crafted Nars flatlay took 30 minutes to construct and barely went from names to numbers.

10. People that like but don’t follow. I Instagram like I date, if I like you, I’ll follow you and forever dig your shit so WHY do some bitches like my ‘grams without hitting that follow button? You’re the Tinder equivalent to guys that match but don’t message. I WON’T COME RUNNING!

What sends you cray about Instagram? Make sure you tweet me or friend me on Facebook to let me know!

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  1. Kelseigh
    January 15, 2016 / 11:57 am

    OBVS following you on Instagram now after this.

    ‘I just woke up like this’ posts are THE WORST.


  2. Dagmara
    January 15, 2016 / 12:06 pm

    Another funny, but ‘so true’ post šŸ™‚ Those people who like 100 of my pictures but not follow really annoy me, why to do so? Obviously they want me to do the same with their pictures and follow them because of the ‘love’ they showed me but I’m like, nope, not interested šŸ™‚ x

  3. Fii
    January 15, 2016 / 12:29 pm

    Well now I’m pretty sure i don’t need to go to the gym bc I’ve laughed off the doughnuts i’ve just scoffed #goals. I’M TEARING UP HERE, VIX. ACCURACY THROUGH THE ROOF. But lol, i’m forever sideyeing the people that literally like my entire feed and still don’t follow. WHY U GOTTA HURT ME SOOO.

    Love this, love you.

    Fii | http://www.littlemissfii.co.uk

  4. January 15, 2016 / 12:44 pm

    Ha I dont think I have laughed so much for ages… I have to be honest, I cannot be faffed to create the perfect image, what you see is what you get, ive taken the image on my effing iPhone 6 not spent four hours with my DSLR, picmonkey-ed it to death to then email back to myself, save to my camera roll and then upload…. x

  5. Stacey
    January 15, 2016 / 1:53 pm

    This was brilliant Vix! I love your observations on life! Xx

  6. Rosie
    January 15, 2016 / 2:09 pm

    So funny because it’s all true! Love it!

    Which brings me onto Instagram commenters who just write ‘love it’ or ‘nice’ under a picture just to get some Instagram attention back.

    It’s harder than with a blog post to go into much more depth, but seriously I’d rather someone just liked the post and followed along. Off to read some more of your posts. Thanks for a chuckle!

  7. Little Miss Katy
    January 15, 2016 / 3:57 pm

    HILARIOUS because TRUE!

  8. Christina
    January 15, 2016 / 6:52 pm

    So hilarious! Why like 40 pics and then not follow?? Lol this was so spot on! Great post!

  9. Karlie
    January 15, 2016 / 7:07 pm

    First thing I’m doing is checking i’m following you on Insta x

  10. Atembe
    January 15, 2016 / 7:53 pm

    This is all so true! I’m definitely an Instagram Flirter though…I may play with your emotions…my likes are not commitments lol!

  11. Jesska
    January 16, 2016 / 8:04 pm

    Haha I love the last one! So funny! xxxxx

  12. January 24, 2016 / 5:26 pm

    and then there are those people who follow but don’t like.
    I mean – why are you even here?
    I love this and I’m heading over to your Instagram right away!

  13. Chloe Rhys-Jones
    January 27, 2016 / 1:04 pm

    I hate it when I get likes on my photos but they don’t follow. If I like someone’s photos I want to see them so I follow them… It’s not a hard logic is it???

  14. Tina
    January 29, 2016 / 10:57 am

    Too funny! I hate the people liking loads of photos but no follow. And you go to their Insta (or I used to) and they have thousands of followers, but only follow 200, because, you know, they’re really popular!
    I’m about to go look at your carefully crafted flatlays! Haha.

    Tina x

  15. Jodie
    January 30, 2016 / 2:26 pm

    I think the whole concept of an ‘instagram theme’ is ridiculous. I want instagram to be a snapshot of my life then and there, not an overthought photo!

    Jodie @ <A HREF="http://www.jodetopia.com/">Jodetopia</A&gt; x

  16. Kimberley
    February 3, 2016 / 1:56 pm

    Hahahah this is so perfect! "Bedrooms that look like they have been lit by the shining arses of 1000 glow worms" had me crying! xx

    Kimberley // thecolourchronicles.com