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15 things Cosmo should know about bloggers

You know me. I love a good reply. (See Sluts). This morning, Twitter shared an article by Cosmo which listed all the things guys should know about bloggers before they date them.

As has become expected with Cosmo, their chance to attack bloggers has presented itself again.

I don’t get Cosmo. The girls who used to read it are the girls writing these blogs. Why attack us? Is it jealousy? Is it click bait? Any way, it worked because today, Cosmo’s website has probably had as many hits as the average blog.

Here are 15 things Cosmo needs to know about bloggers, should they feel the need to write about us again.

Old photo. Was in a rush. Soz.  Old photo. Was in a rush. Soz.

1. We want ALL the page views. Some of my single blogger friends and I can’t WAIT to tell our future dating prospects about our blogs because READ US AND LOVE US. The only people we don’t want reading our blogs are our bosses or parents because they don’t need to know about who I fancy on Tinder.

2. We love to text. Doesn’t everyone? Some bloggers write essay texts, some like to send a message per sentence. But isn’t that what EVERYONE does? What a stupid point, Cosmo.

3. We actually do have deadlines. Bloggers are fucking busy. If it’s not a sponsored post we need to get written because a brand have been bothering us even though they’re paying us pittance OR we have a schedule we need to keep, there are deadlines. Almost like real writers.

4. We can’t take people to just anything. And anyway, our dates don’t want to go to a Korean Beauty event or Primark’s press day. Where do Cosmo think we get invited to?

5. We won’t act annoyed if you read our work because we’re not pricks. We’ve written a wishlist post SPECIFICALLY for our dates/boyfriends to see what we want for our birthday/V Day/Tuesday.

6. Not everyone drinks coffee, Cosmo, you overgeneralising twats.  It’s not free, after all. Amirite?

7. We do know lots of other bloggers but most of us aren’t actually so conceited that we think we’re better than them. That must just be a Cosmo thing.

8. See point 4. We’re only bringing you as a plus 1 to an event if we can’t get any of our blog friends to join or if we need you to take photos and even then you’re lucky if you’re getting a free glass of Prosecco pal. WHAT EVENTS ARE THESE COSMO?

9. We do want to hear about that amazing post you saw the other day, because again, we’re not pricks. We want to find the girl who wrote and tweet our love. Hey we might even include it in a ‘Fave Blogs’ post if it’s good because, obviously unlike a magazine office, the blogging community is about supporting fellow writers.

10. Our happiness isn’t derived from our battery life. Yes we might become on edge if a Twitter storm is going down and we have to switch to Power Saving Mode. But we’re not complete tools.

11. We will NEVER write a post hoping to get something free from it. THAT’S NOT HOW BLOGGING WORKS COSMO. Do you need a lesson?

12. We spend our days in our PJs regularly. Like everyone else. And we don’t all like ‘artisan coffee shops’. Everyone knows bloggers love an Instagrammable Starbucks cup.

13. We generally don’t use Pseudos – unless in part. WHO uses a terribly punned pseudo? Because I’d like to meet them. I know NO BLOGGERS that do this.

14.  We’re quite confident in our ability to write. Yes Cosmo, some bloggers are confident and some are wracked with insecurity. Probably doesn’t help when magazines like to slag us off though. Tends to dent the confidence.

15. We don’t have fans. We have readers. Yes there’s a few other male bloggers that I’d like to photograph me like one of their French girls BUT THEY AIN’T FANS. Those boys sliding into our DMs to compliment our funniest tweet are often not boyfriend material.

Can I just add that my list, just like Cosmo’s probably doesn’t apply to every blogger but I like to think it’s at least a bit more accurate.

What do you think?

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40 Comments
  • Emily
    January 24, 2016

    Yes Vix! So accurate, that Cosmo post was such a heap of shite! Great post.
    Emily xx

    http://www.bambisbeautyblogs.com

  • Chloe Griffiths
    January 24, 2016

    This is brilliant.

  • Tara
    January 24, 2016

    This is faaaaaar more accurate and relatable! Kudos for knocking this up so fast & setting them straight!

    Tara xo

    http://taradaniella.com/

  • Dee Candycane
    January 24, 2016

    I read that piece and like everyone thought it was a load of crap. But the magazine got what they wanted, it was like a beginners guide to clickbait.

  • Zoe at Splodz Blogz
    January 24, 2016

    Ha ha awesome, spot on – from an instant-coffee-drinking-comfy-pyjama-wearing-stats-loving-blogger 🙂

  • Anne ☀️
    January 24, 2016

    I saw the cosmo blog post pop up on my twitter feed earlier today, and I did consider clicking it – but I had a feeling it was puke, so I didn’t (until now).
    I don’t understand why cosmo would have anything against bloggers, but they clearly don’t know what it’s like.
    But I can relate to everything you write (and you’re hilarious btw)

    x Anne | <a href="http://annesmiles.com">annesmiles</a&gt;

  • N / Lovelaughslipstick Blog
    January 24, 2016

    I would write more, but all I can say right now, is that this post is fucking BRILLIANT!! xx

  • alice dutfield
    January 24, 2016

    Haaaa, Love this!

    http://www.alicelle.com | https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/alicelle-14654469

  • Eline
    January 24, 2016

    Awesome. These posts are the best reaction to an article like that. Love, it!

  • Sarah
    January 24, 2016

    I love this, this is wonderful and it makes my good morning into a great morning. I actually hadn’t heard about the Cosmo article (I avoid most magazines at all costs because of shit like this) but I think your version is just amazing. There are so many stereotypes against bloggers that I’ve become even nervous to mention I’m a blogger to people. Especially a beauty blogger because I rarely wear makeup or do my hair these days lol. Anyways great post, I really adore it!

  • Daizy| Zya&Daizy
    January 24, 2016

    Preach Queen, preach! It’s hilarious how Cosmo just hate on us. Haven’t you got anything better to write about? Nahhh didn’t think so. Bloggers are extremely busy, we have schedules to keep! Blog posts to write! Piss off Cosmo, your just making me laugh now lmao.

    lovely post, i laughed way too much hahaha
    Daizy| http://www.ZyaandDaizy.wordpress.com

  • Ellie
    January 24, 2016

    Wow love this! Good for you writing it up so quickly! X

  • Jasmine
    January 24, 2016

    All I can say is YES TO THIS POST YOU ABSOLUTE QUEEN! I was rather annoyed at Cosmo’s post (I was firstly curious) then read up to about point 5 and closed the article, I left unsatisfied! Your post is much more realistic, you go Glen coco xxx

    Jasmine || <a href="http://www.blogsallbeautyy.blogspot.co.uk">http://www.blogsallbeautyy.blogspot.co.uk</a&gt;

  • Meghan Sara
    January 24, 2016

    Thank you for this response! This article pissed me right off the edge of my sofa. Where do they get the nerve? Classic insecure bully picking on the new kid because they feel threatened. Thanks!

  • Bex
    January 24, 2016

    Hahaha girl I love you! Now pass free wine/coffee/water?! ?

  • Erin Louise Hunt
    January 24, 2016

    Preach it sister!! I wish I was getting all of these ‘freebies’, it’d take some of the heat off of my poor dwindling sad bank account!

  • Jen
    January 24, 2016

    Screw the boys on Tinder. Marry ME!

  • Jodie
    January 24, 2016

    I haven’t read the Cosmo article yet (heading there now!) but I wonder if my blog name counts as a terribly punned pseudo… Ouch.

  • Lizi Legge
    January 24, 2016

    Yes! You absolute hero for writing this – far more accurate than that seriously shit article!

  • Holly
    January 24, 2016

    Brilliant response!

    I honestly think Cosmo have lost it completely. Their article today was about as informative as their depression one they wrote a while ago. It’s sad to see what was once a great magazine has turned into this. I know I’ll never be reading it again x

    Holly – Closingwinter.wordpress.com

  • Milly Youngman
    January 24, 2016

    YOU GOT THIS <3 I just read the article now and it’s the most patronising, generalising piece of trash about bloggers. Cosmo seem to have turned from a women’s magazine I enjoy to a Buzzfeed clone site for what they think the ‘typical’ twentysomething woman wants – but it’s so off point at times it’s ridiculous.

    I don’t even fucking like coffee.

  • Michelle
    January 24, 2016

    Hahaha spot on!

  • Emma
    January 24, 2016

    One of the BEST responses. How did that article get published? Did no editor stop to think "hang on this might not go down so well"…? The mind boggles.

    Power to bloggers.

    Emma | EisforEmma.co.uk

  • Sarah Jane
    January 24, 2016

    I love your post, and I think all your points are 99% true for us blogger/writers.
    Cosmo’ use to be my first magazine buy each month, it was stylish classie and fashionable. These days I find myself buying Empire magazine and Little White Lie. (Both of which have more class then theme Cosmo. Especially Little White Lies, if you love movies then this is great mag’ to read).
    Personal I think Cosmo Needs a revamp, otherwise it might go the same way as company magazine, which would be a shame.
    All magazines need to step away from there fashion blogger interviews, (who may or may not fit in to their list.) on how they made their fortune, how about the art bloggers, lifestyle, DIYer bloggers, film, the list is long. They are atacking bloggers because they have better content then they can create, 😉 .
    looking forward to reading more from you. . XxX

  • Sheepishly Charlotte
    January 24, 2016

    This is so heart breaking and demoralising when, like you said, most bloggers probably grew up thinking Cosmo was the best magazine in the world and actually, is one of the reason I started a blog. I don’t get why mainstream media can’t seem to give us bloggers a break especially when so many of us have brilliant, well written and creative blogs. Good on you for writing this post, I love a good counter-post!

    http://www.sheepishlyshameful.com

  • Victoria Nightingale
    January 24, 2016

    Haha the pseudo thing was so bizarre, don’t know anyone at all who actually uses one?? And also the thing they wrote about us thinking we’re all better than other bloggers is so untrue. I’d say the opposite is true for me 99% of the time. Constantly in awe with what all the other bloggers do x

    vvnightingale.com

  • Victoria Nightingale
    January 24, 2016

    Haha the pseudo thing was so bizarre, don’t know anyone at all who actually uses one?? And also the thing they wrote about us thinking we’re all better than other bloggers is so untrue. I’d say the opposite is true for me 99% of the time. Constantly in awe with what all the other bloggers do x

    vvnightingale.com

  • Natalie
    January 24, 2016

    Preach! ?? I love a good response especially when this got the back up of so many in the blogging community. Thanks for sharing, I loved it.

  • ➳ Sophie
    January 24, 2016

    Amazing post V! That Cosmo article was a complete pile of you-know-what, and I love this reply! Completely agree with everything you’ve said here.

    xx

    http://www.cosybean.co.uk

  • Arianne
    January 25, 2016

    I like the last point that we have readers, not fans. It makes us sound more approachable 🙂

    http://ariannecruz07.blogspot.com

  • Sophie
    January 25, 2016

    This is AMAZING.
    <a href="http://www.sophiecliff.com">Sophie Cliff</a>

  • Rachel
    January 25, 2016

    They also need to get someone to spell check their own article, even as a blogger I use spell check more than occasionally whilst quaffing on prosecco and faffing with a free lipstick that ain’t free Coz I’ve paid the tube fair and stood in someone else’s armpit to get there!

  • Emily
    January 25, 2016

    Once again, you have said exactly what everyone was thinking. It was a stupid article if I’ve ever seen one. Well done you for giving the blogging community a voice against those stupid points Cosmo made.

    Emily – http://www.positivelystupendous.co.uk

  • Rachel
    January 25, 2016

    Such a shame to see print media lashing out as it feels threatened by bloggers and their rise in the media world. Badmouthing us just makes them look foolish!

    Rachel | http://www.currentlyrachel.com

  • laura
    January 25, 2016

    I much prefer yours! Lol
    Their article made blogger seem like mean dicks and of course there are some out there (same with any industry) but all the ones I’ve met have been super lovely! Also if they’d taken the time to read peoples blogs they would realise that most are riddled with anxiety and use this as a platform to act confident cause they’re so terrified to do it in real life!
    The blogging community is like a massive self help group – so much love and encouragement. Not bitchy and backstabbing!

    Wrong move publishing this article cosmo (and from a fellow blogger!)
    Laura x
    http://lifebylaurax.com

  • Dorota
    January 25, 2016

    You tell them girl ! In fact we should all tell them!! We are one person company. A writer, a photographer, an IT support, editor and many more in one. It requires a lot of work that we mainly do on top of our full time job!! Our social lives are non existent because we don’t have the time. Grr it makes me mad sips angrily on her Starbucks

  • Charlotte Gransden
    January 26, 2016

    I think the point that pissed me off more than any, and lets face it the whole article pissed me off, was about thinking your better than others. I read TONNES of blogs and I love them all for different reasons. The community I choose to surround myself with is that of love and support

    Charlotte

  • Sophie
    February 5, 2016

    So much of the article was not only misinformed but actually just non-sensical. COSMO PULL YOUR SOCKS UP MATE.
    http://www.fashionnomads.com

  • Fay
    February 15, 2016

    OMG I just read the Cosmo article and what a stinking pile of shit! Cosmo really seem to have lost touch with reality if they think that badly of bloggers. I can’t imagine that it was written by an actual blogger but one that really does not know many bloggers, most of which have full time jobs and are over run with ‘deadlines’!!! Even those that blog full time are packed to the rafters with things to do!

    Good job that us bloggers stick together otherwise we would be completely stuffed if we relied on the mags we all used to love so much! Great post 🙂 x

  • Ada Lovelace
    August 22, 2016

    OK so I’m now balls deep in your old 10 (or 15) things posts and cackling away so thanks for cheering up my Monday! Funny that the once illustrious Cosmo is half the size it used to be and sells for £1 an issue huh… xx

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