You can’t get to nearly 30 years old without having some form of trauma in your life. Of course trauma is relative. One person’s heartbreak is another’s bird pooing on their hand whilst on a date (happened). But trauma leaves scars. Some people relish in those scars. They show them off at every opportunity, like it’s a badge of honour – ‘Look what I’ve been through!’, others try to cover them up whilst some just have them and ignore them. Which camp do you fall into?
I try to ignore them. I feel that sometimes, baggage is just too heavy to weigh you down.
Ever been out with a friend who’s been rattling on about how they just don’t know if Johnny is the right guy for them because he’s just going to hurt them like everyone else has? Ever just found it so fucking exhausting?
Ever been with someone you’ve got feelings for, lying together, talking about the past?The ghosts, the demons. Then suddenly realise that this person is so emotionally unavailable to you because of the baggage they carry? It’s shit.
We’ve all met people who aren’t ready to love because of the mess they’ve left behind. Or aren’t ready to move jobs because of the fear of the unknown. Or even aren’t ready to speak to a friend again because of previous cross words. But when do they get to the point where they are just so tired of it and enough is enough?
I feel that since my Mum passed my outlook on life has changed dramatically. A relationship ended in October through infidelity and obviously that leaves you broken. I had to leave my dream house that we’d built together to fend for myself for the first time. All of this on top of my Mum being in and out of hospitals and hospices WHILST having a full time job, blog and business. But did I wallow in the hardness of it? Did I fuck. I couldn’t. I had to let things go. Her passing was like a thunderbolt of, ‘wake up and start living.’ I let everything go, the hurt, the stress. I just decided I wasn’t going to let it weigh me down.
My outlook now is so freeing. I’m adamant that every situation I find myself in, in the future, is going to be approached with fresh eyes – not wearied ones.
I’m not going to enter every relationship terrified of infidelity and not having trust because, ain’t no body got time for dat.
I’m not going to end friendships over cross words and not let people in because I’ve been let down – where’s the joy in that?
I’m not going to go to work every day bogged down by the shit state of education because that’s a load that is just too heavy for me to bear. I’m going to strap on my trainers and beat 8 year olds at football and enjoy what I’m doing.
My point, to you, is this: take your time to work through traumas. Show off your scars and wallow in your hurt but then let it go. Don’t carry it around for life because life is just too short to have the weight of the world on your shoulders.