10 things I do if I like you

This weekens has seen me trawl through my Whatsapp graveyard and finally delete/block all of the men I just CBA with. It got me thinking about the signs that I actually do like someone so I thought I’d share!

1. I wait for your reply. If I don’t give a shit about you, you firmly reside in the Whatsapp graveyard HOWEVER if I do like you, I will check to see if you’ve blue ticked me and I will refresh Twitter to see if you’ve DMed me. When I do get your replies, all kinds of flutters happen.

2. I make an effort. If I’m panicking 2 hours before a date on what to wear,  how to do my hair and if I’m going to wear Barbecue or Russian Red, that’s a clear sign I like you. If I exfoliate and shave my legs, I like you a lot. However if I sit in bed until I absolutely must get dressed and then just chuck in some dry shampoo, chances are I don’t care if you fancy me.

3. I try to get your attention. Maybe I’ll chuck you an Instagram like or Whatsapp you a picture of me doing something SUPER COOL AND FUN but either way it’s because I want you to notice me.

4. I’ll buy new stuff. My go to date outfit isn’t quite special enough for you (polo neck and a line skirt – 100% success rate) so I’ll go out and try and find something to make me feel even sassier. HEY I MIGHT EVEN BUY LINGERIE because I don’t want you to know I live in my Primark granny panties just yet.

5. I’ll chat shit. One sure fire way to see if I like you is to witness all of the nonsense I’m sure to spout. I try to give you my wittiest put downs and chuckle-ensuing jokes because OH PLEASE FIND ME FUNNY.

6. I’ll give you my best stories. I have many a terrible date/celebrity in joke story in my locker and I’ll always try and get these out on a date if I like you because I know I tell them well and I want to impress you.

7. I’ll play it extra cool. If I’m not *that* bothered about you, I don’t mind you seeing me in my needy, attention seeking glory. HOWEVER if I do like you, my reply to your date plan will probably be, ‘k cool’ or ‘hmm lemme check if I’m busy’ because I don’t want it to be like that awkward moment on First Dates where the couples are asked if they like each other and one is super keen whilst the other just wants to be friends. So I’ll keep the keenness locked away for a bit, alreet?

8. I’ll let you arrange the date. If I like you, we could go to a cat cafe followed by a chess tournament an hour away on the train and I wouldn’t mind that much but if I’m not that bothered about you I’ll make you come to me and I’ll make sure to suggest something I want to do. You know, in case you’re as boring as I anticipate so it’s not a total waste of my time.

9. I’ll ask you questions. If I’m not into someone then I’ll happily make small talk during an entire date. ‘Hey did you see about Liam and Cheryl?’ or ‘What are your thoughts on Jeremy Corbyn?’ But if I am into you, I’ll want to know everything about who you are and what makes you tick.

10. I’ll suggest fun things to do next. Not in a creepy, ‘Hey maybe in like 2 months we could go and see this concert’ on the first date kind of way but if our date has gone successfully and I am looking forward to seeing you again, don’t be surprised if I start dropping hints about things we could do together. LIKE THE THEATRE. Someone take me to the theatre already.

If I’m dating you and you’re reading this and you decide you fall into the, ‘she doesn’t like me’ camp, please do us both the decent thing and stop texting me. HOWEVER if we’re dating and you’re reading this and thinking, ‘hmm maybe Vix digs my shit,’ please don’t be a gobshite, k?

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3 Comments

  1. March 1, 2016 / 7:31 am

    Oh, this post made me chuckle! You may be a little cray cray, but it’s a good kind of cray, the kind where you’re straight to the point and know exactly what you want. The last line "please don’t be a gobshite, k?" is hilarious.

    Stephanie
    <a href="www.thethriftyvegetarian.com">The Thrifty Vegetarian</a>

  2. Frankie Winter
    March 6, 2016 / 12:38 pm

    Always go with the Russian Red. Always. Seriously, Russian Red can make the Primark granny panties start to look sensual. 😉

  3. RebeccaJane
    March 12, 2016 / 3:55 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA ‘please don’t be a gobshite.’
    Brilliant Vix. Absolutely brilliant. Won’t lie, I still get butterflies when my boyfriend calls me (because it’s so rare to get an actual phone call these days).
    I really hope a gobshite sees this hah :’D

    RebeccaJane xo
    http://pocahontasjane.wordpress.com