Women aren’t

Put your tiny violins away. I’m not here to get all, ‘woe is feminist me’ on yo asses but I do want to discuss the list of adjectives that we women are still described as and proverbially punch them in the tit.

You know the words I mean. The ones you’ve all been described as at some point in your lives – bitch, slut, bossy, to name a few. It is HIGH TIME that society as a whole rebrands females. Just as Puff Daddy became Diddy, we need to reclaim some of these labels (insults) and set the record straight.

Photo credit: Caitlin   Photo credit: Caitlin

Women aren’t bitches. Sorry I speak my mind. Sorry I tell you things you don’t like to hear. Sorry I pull you up on your shit. Actually no I’m not. Because you deserve it and I can. A man declares you’re performing badly at work – he’s assertive and a leader. A woman? Bitch. A man tells you your bum looks big in those joggers – he’s a bumbling idiot. But women saying the same thing? Bitches. Now I’m all for the appropriation of the word – my bitches (when talking about my squad) or ‘bad ass bitch’ (when talking about myself obvs) but as an insult? Nah. A woman who chooses to emphatically speak her mind, even if it causes hurt, is not a bitch. Uncaring and uncouth maybe but not a female dog.

Women aren’t sluts. Following on from my post about things that don’t make you a slut, I’d like to tackle this charming epithet once more.

The dictionary definition states ‘a sexually promiscuous woman’ but nowhere does it state that this is a bad thing. It also says, ‘someone that dresses in an overtly sexual way’. Again, bad because?

I would like to know what business it is of anyone’s what another woman does with her time or body. Are you suddenly less attractive because Susan from uni slept with 5 blokes last week?  Are you going to catch the herp from Wendy who works at Tesco because she once shagged 2 different guys in one day? As long as she’s taking care of herself and not acting like Ash on his way to Rock Gym, treating STIs like Pokemon, where she’s ‘gotta catch em all,’ she’s doing just fine and not hurting anybody.

I suppose there are women out there that do fit the dictionary definition but it’s the ‘nasty’ connotations that bother me. Plus it’s a terrible insult in that – it’s not insulting. You’re slating someone for having a lot of sex. Sex is good. It’s like caning someone for eating a lot of pizza. Either that or you’re insulting someone for wearing provocative clothes. ‘Ew look at her with the confidence to get her tits out.’ NOT AN INSULT.

Women aren’t stuck up. I think the word you’re looking for is confident. Women who exude that air of, ‘I’m totally owning life today,’ are often seen as conceited. I’ve undoubtedly come across some women in my life who’ve made me think, ‘God she’s up her own arse,’ but that’s usually because she seemed cool and didn’t give me the time of day. If a guy acted in the same way he’d just be seen as a bit of a knob. No harm done! However, it seems the ‘stuck up’ label exists soley for the female kind.

Women aren’t bossy. We’re the boss.  I’m lucky, in a way, that I work in a female dominated environment. My head teachers are never called ‘bossy’ because they are the boss but I can imagine that successful, assertive, strong-minded, businesswoman are often thrown this moniker. Even at uni, there was always the ‘bossy’ girl who led the group project. Or at school, the one who decided what the rest of the friendship group did. The word you’re looking for here, is leader.

Women are not frigid. Again (thanks Dictionary) the true meaning of this word – lacking in warmth – has been twisted to mean, ‘lack of interest in sex.’ However this word is only ever bandied about in the way of, ‘lack of interest in sex with me.’ If a woman snogs a guy but pushes his hand away from her crotch, she’s frigid. If she is hotline blinged but denies Netflix and Chill, she’s frigid. However, what I think people fail to realise is that just because she doesn’t want to have sex with YOU doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to have sex with ANYONE. Maybe she has caught on to the fact you’d possibly use the word frigid and she’s dried up quicker than your personality. Did you ever stop to think about that buddy?

A few more for good measure:

Tease – No, we’re just hot and you can’t have us.

Hormonal – I think you mean, ‘tired of your shit.’

High maintenance – We like to look good and we need a lot of attention. Y u not man enough to deal though?

Needy/mental/psycho – You probs treated us like shit and we needed to have our say.

Ladies, it’s time we started taking these slights and and paying them no mind whatsoever. Seriously question who you are spending your time with, if any of your close circle uses any of these terms to describe women.

Also, what have you been called that a man never would be?

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  1. Jodie
    February 9, 2016 / 10:02 am

    The ‘slut’ and ‘frigid’ points really sum it all up. Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to balance in the very fine space between what gets you labelled a slut and what gets you labelled frigid, and then I realise that only douchebags with massive insecurity/anger issues would use those terms anyway. Another great one, Vicky!

    Jodie x

  2. February 9, 2016 / 11:23 am

    I’ve been called hysterical. A man would definitely never be called that. Because big tough men have no emotions and women are emotional wrecks, obvz.

    Rachel | http://www.currentlyrachel.com

  3. Meghan Sara
    February 9, 2016 / 5:21 pm

    Oh my do you ever get called "dramatic"? I mean yeah I’m an actress and I know when it’s a compliment but to have your health concerns minimized like thus:

    "I’m thinking of getting back into therapy because I’m feeling depressed lately."
    "Oh I’m sure that’s not necessary, you’ve always been dramatic."

    GRRRRR that one toasts my buns! Great post!!

    Meghan Sara | meghansara.com

  4. brooke elise
    February 9, 2016 / 8:05 pm

    How many times can I screaam YAS at this fucking post? I love this, especially the frigid point. I just adore this whole post. Your writing may or may not give me life.
    It definitely does.

    brooke | <a href="http://www.brooke-elise.com/">brooke elise</a>

  5. SparklesofLight Blog
    February 9, 2016 / 8:22 pm

    Ah I’ve been called most of these in my time (because I’m so old ahem)
    but I actually don’t even care because I’m pretty happy as I am 🙂

    Rosy | sparklesoflight76.blogspot.co.uk

  6. Zoe Pollard
    February 13, 2016 / 1:23 pm

    I hear ya sista! SUCH a good post! Hate being called ‘bossy’ when men are called ‘assertive’ and ‘leaders’.

    Zoe x | http://www.zoelinda.co.uk

  7. Stephanie Mattea
    February 13, 2016 / 1:48 pm

    So true! I get very annoyed when people slap derogative labels on women, and it’s even women vs women in this world, so many times do I see so many young ladies call another one of these names, especially ‘slut’ and ‘attention-whore’. There’s always so much call for equality and less competition among the female sex, yet you see a lot of hate and rudeness aimed at each other, let alone from the male sex.

    I’m definitely a bossy person around the home, so I completely get it when my partner and housemate both grumble about me telling them to properly wash the dishes. But one time I went off at my housemate because he assumed that I was on my period when I was having a very bad day and I had told him off for doing certain things the wrong way. Told him that if he ever made that assumption again with another chick, he would be very lucky to come out of it unscathed. And the sad thing is that the bloke is gay, and for him to stereotype women like that is very offensive. Just because I’m fed up with seeing food scraps stuck to plates and utensils over and over again, does not mean that I’m on my period. Seriously.


    P.S.: Sorry about the rant, this stuff really gets me all riled up.