I should be sleeping because my Sis needs a lift to the airport in 5 hours but I can’t. And it’s because I just can’t get this Kim K selfie out of my head. Not in a pervy way (maybs a little) but mainly because of the reaction it has been getting. I also can’t sleep because of some of the twattery I’ve been reading on Twitter about ‘International Women’s Day’, which is this Tuesday. There are people who are actually pissed off that this is a thing. It got me thinking about all of the things society gets pissed off at women for. So imma make a midnight ranty and not proof read list.
1. Women should not be confident in their bodies. So here’s the Kim K Krux. She posted a nude photo of herself, looking ABSOLUTELY banging with her modesty covered by black strips. Little bit Jodie Marsh. Big bit SEXY. The internet has gone mad. How dare a 35 year old, mother of 2 degrade herself in such a way? I mean, sharing nudes makes you completely incapable of having a job or raising a baby or keeping a husband, right? Wrong. Society is forever forcing women to be ashamed of their bodies. Confidence is belittled as arrogance and modesty must be queen. Um nah. If you looked like Kim in that pic you should be Lady Godiving past your local PoundLand because the world needs to see more beauty. But also – even if you don’t look like Kim, you should be Lady Godiving past your local PoundLand because ALL OF THE BEAUTY.
2. Women should not celebrate other women. Nope, women are bitchy. We should tear each other down. Slag each other off. Pit ourselves against one another. That’s how it works right? WRONG. It is disgusting that we need an International Women’s Day as an excuse to celebrate being a woman. We should celebrate each other every day. In the workplace, on the street, at school and definitely on social media. And don’t even get me started on the limp dicked little pricks who will ask, ‘When’s International Men’s Day?’ Sorry I can’t hear you over your privelige.
3. Women should not enjoy sex. The little sluts. How dare you proclaim your preference for peen and lust for labia. Don’t you know promiscuity is unbecoming and HOW WILL YOU FIND A HUSBAND? Wrong. Here’s a biology lesson for you. Men have appendages that makes sex feel good. Women have appendages that makes sex feel good. Wrap those bad boys up and have the sex that feels good.
4. Women should not be successful. It’s midnight and CBA with facts and figures but I’m sure you’ve heard of a little something called the wage gap? And the statistics of how many women are given jobs over male candidates so I won’t go too far into it. Certain pockets of society till believe that women should be ‘darn cookin’ and cleanin’ and ‘whatchoo doing out of the kitchen trying to make CEO, that sandwich ain’t gon’ make itself.’ WHUT. It’s 2016 FFS.
5. Women should not choose to be childless. Everyone knows how life’s supposed to work right? School, uni, job, house, marriage, babies. Anyone that deviates from this plan is brandished a deviant. What do you mean you don’t want a husband at 30 years old? You’ll end up like Bridget Jones! How can you not want children? You’re selfish! Oh yes, we hear it all. It’s wrong. How about the old adage, ‘it’s my life so jog on with your opinion.’ If a woman wants to open a yoga colony in Barnsley instead of the righteous path, who cares?
There are more societal injustices we face but I only had the energy to try to be witty about these 5. Soz and that. Tweet me with your ideas though!