Maybe he’s been burned. Maybe he’s had the controlling ex. Or the bunny boiler. Or the psycho. As he refers to them. But what he is, is an out and out misogynist. He hates relationships with women, because he hates women. How do you know if you’ve come across a relationship-hating-gargoyle? Well the 10 things he says he hates about relationships might give you a little clue:
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1. He hates relationships because he hates ‘having to stay in contact’. Oh no, does little boo boo feel emasculated because it’s a polite consideration to tell his girlfriend what he’s up to? You know, maybe if he didn’t hate women, he might realise that she might just be interested in his day and care about what he’s up to as opposed to the controlling bunny boilers he paints women to be.
2. He hates relationships because he loses ‘guy time’. Oh no, did that stupid bitch of a woman tie you to the sofa and insist you weren’t allowed out? Or do you use your woman as an excuse to fuck off the boys when in reality you want to stay home but you don’t want to look like less of a lad?
3. He hates relationships because he can no longer ‘play the field’. There’s one swift solution to this one sunshine, BE SINGLE. If slinging your sausage up any old fanny is a more enticing prospect than upping your sex game for your No1 chick then you need to watch her fat ass twist as she bounces to a better dick.
4. He hates relationships because he can no longer ‘do what he wants’. WOAH. Did I miss the ‘now you’re in a relationship you must lose all sense of your own brain and independence memo?’ Healthy relationships are where 2 people do whatever the heck they want (within reason and not where one party can continue to be a douche) and stick by each other. Oh I don’t get to go to the gym. Oh I don’t get a lie in. Oh I don’t get to eat what I want. That ain’t your girlfriend’s fault you’re lazy and like junk food.
5. He hates relationships because he can’t ‘spend money on whatever he wants’. Does your girl have your wallet permanently attached to her? Is she financially abusive? Because there are hot lines for that. Instead of using your woman as an excuse not to spend £400 on clothes, grow a set and do whatever makes you happy boo. And if you hate your woman because she IS financially controlling and/or you’re a misogynist, then send her the bin emoji and be done.
6. He hates relationships because of the ‘pressure’. Hey, little factoid for my Misogynist M8s – relationships either end in marriage or breaking up. And then sometimes they still break up. So if you feel the pressure to get married because you hate women and don’t want to get married, THEN BREAK UP. A knight in shining chinos is just dying to take your girl up the aisle. And other orifices.
7. He hates relationships because he hates ‘going clothes shopping‘. GUESS WHAT – women’s shops have little benches so that you weak little bitches can rest your tired feet after carrying her one bag around all day.
8. He hates relationships because he can’t ‘go out any more’. Oh RIIIGHT. I forgot all women are boring little sods who enjoy staying at home, cooking and cleaning all day. Of coooouuurse, Blimmin Wimmin do NOT equally enjoy partying. Especially with their men. I mean, is it because she’s boring? Or you don’t want her around your mates? You hate her? That’s why she’s not allowed to party with you?
9. He hates relationships because ‘he hates having to socialise with people who aren’t his friends’. Oh god. We’ve all met one of these boring bastards. The one who sits in the corner looking fed up and doesn’t pay attention to your pals. Who watches the TV screen above their heads at the pub instead of engaging. The one that answers their questions with one word and makes you feel so bad that you have to leave. HEY BUDDY, why not try being polite and not an unsociable bloody bore?
10. He hates relationships because he just hates women. Something could’ve happened in his childhood to make his resentment to women such an issue BUT it doesn’t mean you, as a woman, have to put up with it. Go and find yourself a regular non-woman-hating slice of man pie. One that will happily stroll around Boots whilst you find the best face wipes. The one that cracks all of your mates up and remembers details about their lives. The one who isn’t afraid to look like a ‘pussy’ in front of his mates because he tells them straight, ‘I’m staying in to spend time with my woman yo.’ (I don’t know why your boyfriend is Drake).
I originally read a post from a dating blogger about what he misses about being single. It had similar points but was put across in a much more endearing way. Then, as I did research and read more articles, by men, in a similar vein, the murkier it got. It’s scary just how many men there are out there who are in relationships with women they just don’t like.