In modern life we are all far too bogged down with the daily grind to ever feel 100% free. We continually worry about work, money, relationships and our own self worth that we lose sight of what’s important – our own happiness. So here are 10 things you can experience which might hopefully lighten the load.
1. Learning to not put others down. Denigrating someone else’s character only highlights how you feel about your own self. Putting people down for the way they look, speak, dress or act appears to be an easy way for you to distance yourself from that person and put yourself on a pedestal above them but actually it doesn’t. When you begin to look at people for who they are and understand that they have feelings and emotions (no matter if they’ve hurt you or annoyed you) you start feeling freer to be compassionate. Plus, no one likes a bitch.
2. Giving to others. I’ve always been someone that has given freely. I’d rather spend money on other people, than myself. Buying thoughtful gifts can make someone’s day. But it’s doesn’t have to be things that you give. Just freeing yourself up to give someone the time of day, even when you can’t be bothered to listen to their moaning or don’t want to hear about their boyfriend for the eleven billionth time, being there for someone makes you feel great. It’s also not that hard to sling someone a compliment every now and then. Tell your mate her make up is looking banging or your boyfriend that you love talking to him because he’s so interesting. It doesn’t cost anything but doing giving to others is so much better than being a self obsessed little dweeb.
3. Losing someone close to you. Now I’m not suggesting you facilitate this in any way (I can just imagine the episode of NCIS), HOWEVER if you are unfortunate enough to lose a person that is close to you, it will make you a better person. Sounds bizarre doesn’t it? How can grief, which is one of the most painful things any one can deal with, have a silver lining? It does. Losing someone close to you and experiencing that level of pain gives you a new lease of life. You truly understand how short life is and in turn, this makes you braver and more willing to take on the world. The phrase, ‘what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger,’ is SO true. The peace of mind you gain from feeling virtually untouchable because you have pain perspective, is beautifully freeing.
5. Learning to love yourself. To reiterate the post I wrote here, there’s nothing more freeing in life than finally loving yourself. You see the world in a new way and the confidence you gain from a solid self esteem truly makes you a better person. When you love yourself, you’re far freer to love others.
6. Break ups. Another odd scenario in life that not many people enjoy going through. Dumping, or being dumped is a turmoil that only the stoniest of people can forget about quickly. If we are binned, we want to wallow and question why. Why doesn’t that person love me? Am I unlovable? What’s wrong with me? All of this negative energy turns into baggage that you carry through to your next relationship. OR you can get a fucking grip. OK, Soz, I know that’s harsh BUT life is too bloody short to be gutted over breaking up with someone that was probably a massive turd any way. Breaking up brings you back to yourself, it helps you reflect on where things went wrong and if any of the issues were down to you, it makes you reassess those traits in your personality and grow. However if the breakup was not your fault at all, it should give you the freedom to think that you’re clearly an amazing person that the other person doesn’t deserve. So put down the ice cream, turn off Adele and free yourself.
7. Career risks. At some point in all of our lives we will come to a career crossroad. We’ll look at what we’re doing now and have a long and hard think as to whether it’s right for us or not. This is a scary time because sometimes, we’ve been doing something for so long that we are just used to it. But if you’ve ever counted the clock, or experienced severe Sunday dread, taking that leap into a career that could make you happier, makes you feel so much freer.
8. Losing baggage. There’s nothing more weighing than carrying around baggage. Whether it’s a past trauma, relationship breakdown or body hang ups. All of us have some form of baggage. Some of it is easier to get rid of (like the ex boyfriend with the terrible penis) and some needs professional attention to work through. But it is important to work through it. If you can easily compartmentalise and stick that baggage in a box and dump it, fab. If not, it’s really time you addressed whatever it is that’s holding you back from feeling free.
9. Go travelling. I’m not talking about the 14 day pretentious Thailand trip just so you can grab a selfie drinking out of a coconut or whatever those ‘gap yah’ freaks do, I’m just talking taking a holiday or a trip away from home. There’s nothing freer than sitting on an airplane literally flying away from your problems. Oh you forgot to pay your phone bill? Cut me off whilst I’m in Vegas, O2 DON’T NEED YA. Those walks along the beach or down a cobbled street you haven’t trod before takes your brain away from the daily grind and frees it up to think about things that make you happy.
10. Throw yourself into something. It’s surprising just how much negative brain space is freed up to be replaced by positive brain space when you take up a hobby. When I started blogging, I was miserable at work and in life. I felt lonely and bored. Forever worrying about money and my future. Blogging gave me a space to free up all of those thoughts. To discuss them. To chat to people who are having the same thoughts. I have thrown myself into blogging and it does take up a lot of brain time. You’re always thinking about promoting your posts, content you want to write and emails you need to answer. But thinking of these things is so much freer than worrying about your fertility or whether My Fitness Pal will scream at you for eating 2 Peshwari Naans. So find yourself something you can throw yourself into and free yourself up to let the positivity in.
God, this is probably the most sickly post I’ve ever written and Soz for all of the patronising comments but HEY sometimes we need someone to tell us it’s OK to let go. What makes you feel free? Would love to hear your thoughts on Twitter!