‘Benching’ or ‘being benched’ are terms that entered my dating vernacular this week. But what do they mean? I hear you eagerly ask. Furthermore, has it happened to you or I?
LOL there’s a bench
Being resigned to the bench is a dating practise whereby you appear to be in a good amount of contact with someone you are looking to date or may have already dated without any motions to a further date.
Put simply, they can’t be arsed to take you out for a GBK and a fumble in the cinema but they keep you on the bench, so you think there’s a possibility they might therefore giving them someone to chat to.
It’s the dating equivalent of a pen pal.
So have I done it? Subconsciously yes. If I’ve dated someone I quite like but was already chatting to someone I thought was decent, I might have kept chatting to the benched guy thinking that eventually I’d get round to dating him. I didn’t realise what a shitty thing that was to do, until I had it happen to me.
Being on the bench is confusing. Why are they speaking to me constantly but not picking up on any of my hints about going out? Why have we been speaking for weeks without a date being organised?
How do you know if you’ve been benched? Does your date ignore your hints about taking you out? Does your date sometimes go a day or evening or two without messaging? But when they reply they still seem keen and interested so as to keep the convo going? Do they repeatedly say how busy they are? Have you been chatting for more than 2 weeks without a date being organised? If any of these signs are being familiar, then it’s likely you’ve been benched.
How do you get off the bench? Well hopefully you realise you’re worth more than being an option to someone and you tell them to ‘suck my clit, rudeboy’.
And if you’re benching someone? Just stop. Date someone you really want to date and let this little fishy off your line so they can get back to swimming in the sea.
Debated that as a closing line. Keeping it.
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