Why Beyonce’s ‘Hold up’ perfectly captures what it’s like to be cheated on

The more I listen to ‘Hold Up’, the song apparently written by Beyonce about her cheating husband JayZ, the more it resonated with my own experience of being cheated on.

‘They don’t love you like I love you.’ When guys cheat, they aren’t looking for love or to be loved. They’re looking for someone to flirt with and flatter their ego. But you? You’re frustrated because you know how much you love that person.

‘Can’t you see there’s no other man above you?’ You feel frustrated that you made this man your everything and he only saw you as an option.

‘What a wicked way to treat the girl that loves you.’ You know you’ve treated your man right. Birthday gifts, surprise trips, cooking for him, seducing him, making him laugh, watching sports with him. And he can still do this? You wonder what else you needed to do, when you know you’ve done everything.

‘What’s worse looking jealous or crazy?’ In the aftermath, you feel complete DESPISE for the girl. What does she have that you don’t? She’s prettier. She’s sexier. She’s more interesting. And then comes the crazy. You want to rip him to shreds. HOW DARE HE?

‘Or walked all over lately.’ If you decide to stay, you feel like you’re going to need to get MUG tattooed over your forehead. People KNOW what he’s done. If you haven’t gone crazy at him and stuck him in the doghouse, then you feel like you’re being taken for a ride.

‘Something don’t feel right, because it ain’t right.’ Everyone, including myself, that has been cheated on, has had the inkling. Whether you begin feeling crazy and untrusting or have the urge to check his phone – it’s your subconscious telling you something isn’t right.

‘Going through your call list.’ I WILL READ EVERY MESSAGE. You will torture yourself by wanting to dig through everything so that there are no more surprises. Oh you picked her up whilst I ran a marathon to support a cancer charity when my Mum was dying of cancer? Fab.

‘Know that I kept it sexy, know that I kept it fun.’ You ask yourself if things were going stale. If you were getting boring. But deep down you know it wasn’t you. You know you were a freak in the sheets and an entertaining, intellectual, fun Bish on the streets.

‘Oh it’s such a shame, let this good love go to waste.’ Yeah it’s a shame. But it’s his shame. You know you kept that top tier, 5 star, backseat lovin’ and it really is his fuck up.

Maybe you stay like Bey, or maybe, after the second time, you leave like me but whatever you do, however you handle it, is right for you. Unless you’re cutting his shit up. Don’t do that.

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7 Comments

  1. June 3, 2016 / 10:41 am

    Yes!! A girls intuition is not something to be mocked or messed with, we always know!

    Also this part has literally broken my heart "You will torture yourself by wanting to dig through everything so that there are no more surprises. Oh you picked her up whilst I ran a marathon to support a cancer charity when my Mum was dying of cancer? Fab." cannot believe someone would do that.

    Props to you girl xxxx

    Laura
    https://lifebylaurax.com

  2. Bee
    June 3, 2016 / 10:43 am

    Oh babe, I wanted to cry reading this. Sending you love.
    Bee xxx

  3. June 3, 2016 / 11:07 am

    I love and hate this post.

    I hate that someone could make you feel that way (and how many girls have felt like too).

    His loss!

    Jasmine x
    http://www.jasminesimone.co.uk

  4. Melissa
    June 3, 2016 / 12:31 pm

    "Unless you’re cutting his shit up. Don’t do that." Oh, how I try to get this message across to young women… Don’t turn up at his job. Don’t key his car. Don’t sit outside his house. You want him to hurt like he hurt you but as cliche as it sounds, this too shall pass.

  5. Lj
    June 3, 2016 / 6:24 pm

    Oh honey I hate that you had to experience this, I really do. Especially when you were going through something so terrible but it’s amazing to see what an honest, strong and inspirational person you are despite all the crap and I’m so proud of you for that!

    I stayed with my ex when he cheated on me, and it’s only now a few years later when we’ve been broken up for a long time that I realise I made the wrong decision and that I should have ended it immediately, but I’m glad that I’ve learned that lesson and it’s given me a lot more self respect from learning it, if it ever happens again in the future I will be straight out of their life and no looking back!

    Lj xo
    <a href="http://www.ljlv.co.uk">LJLV | A Fashion & Lifestyle Blog</a>

  6. E
    June 3, 2016 / 7:20 pm

    It’s a really horrible experience to be cheated on. I never really thought about it that much but this is a great song that shows it. I really enjoyed reading this post and I hope it wasn’t too crappy for you to write!

    http://www.57-days.blogspot.co.uk

  7. June 3, 2016 / 8:53 pm

    I’m sorry that you’ve been cheated on. It’s never been a good thing to hear about from friends. I can only imagine the feelings. I’m glad that Bey’s song resonates with you. You’re spot on in saying don’t cut his shit up, that’s just handling things poorly and makes you look worse.

    Single Vegas Girl
    http://singlevegasgirl.blogspot.com/