On Saturday 27th August I will be travelling to Las Vegas for the 11th time. I KNOW WHUT. People always judge me for this. Like I don’t go anywhere else. Or I must be some pool-party, bikini wearing, drinking alcohol slushie attention seeker. I ain’t. The truth is, it’s a tradition of my twin and I. We try and go together once a year because it’s our favourite place to get along, catch up, bond and make memories. AND WE HAVE MADE SOME. In fact, we tend to get very lucky each trip. Not in the man sense unfortch – this will actually be my first trip SINGLE but in the winner winner chicken dinner sense. So before my trip, during which I will turn 30 (oh my fricking god I’ll have to get married and pop a sprog out there), I will need a whiz round the shops to pick up a few things that I’m lacking. Here are 10 of em:
1. Pants. Man do 43 degrees mean I need to change my knickers every 10 minutes. Not because I get excited over OMFGZ 3 SEPHORAS but because sweat. Groin sweat and butt crack sweat. It ain’t pretty. Don’t you already own undercrackers? You’re wondering. OBVS but fresh out the packet beauties are a holiday essential. Or is that just me?
2. Dusting powder. Sticking with the sweat theme because YUM and HEY GUYS, READING THIS, WHO MIGHT HAVE A CRUSH ON ME, AREN’T I SEXY? Dusting powder like Lush’s ‘Silky Underwear’ is a god send. Pat a bit in very crevice before hitting the strip and you won’t find yourself wondering what’s tickling your back constantly (perspiration).
3. Comfy shoes. Ain’t nobody got the strength to pound Las Vegas Boulevard with anything on your feet that even pinch or rub in the slightest. I have a pair of black, stretchy Office sandals that I will probably wear with every outfit because LOL OLD but I could do with picking up an alternative.
4. A bag. Yes I currently have about 7 for sale on my Depop that would work perfectly well in Vegas but just like the umpteenth guy making his way into my Whatsapp graveyard, I’m just not feeling em. I want something big enough to fit the essentials – passport, room key, WADS OF CASH, lippy, dusting powder, phone, portable charger (me be Snapping) and hip flask but cute enough to go with every outfit.
5. Shoes for the evening. Because LOL I am not wearing Vans to dance to Britney Spears in. I need some evening heels for drinks, restaurants and shows that aren’t going to make me curse whoever invented feet but also have a, ‘Girl get yo wiggle on’ vibe to them.
6. Light tops. In Vegas, the only way you’re going to stay cool is to wear nothing at all and have someone by your side spritzing you with a constant water mist. As both are socially unacceptable, I will need to buy myself some cute camis or vests in the thinnest material known to man so that I don’t descend into a Red Mist of Heat Rage when someone asks me if I want tickets to a shitty magic show.
7. Bottoms. Now I hate my legs. They’re oddly shaped, pasty AF and often resemble chicken skin (HEY BOYS) so shorts are my nightmare. I bought an awesome pair of beach trousers from Accessorize but I also kinda, really need so of those wide leg, calf length culottes because I feel they will look BANGING with camis tucked in. HOWEVS, I’m concerned that ‘wide leg’ on my badonkadonk will more than likely be ‘skinny fit’. Alas a gal can only try.
8. Actual dollar. Pretty much just putting this here to remind myself to GET YOUR SHIT CHANGED UP. Massively cutely, my class did a collection at the end of term and raised me $100 – if you’d like to do this same, I’ve set up a GoFundMe here.*
9. Evening wear. My style can best be described as CASJ TO THE MAX and it’s very rare I have ‘going out out’ garments. In fact, my date night, dinner out, party til 3 am everything outfit has been; aline skirt, tights, top, ankle boots since Winter but that shit won’t fly out there. So I need to pick up something that isn’t The Only Way is Vegas but is a little more dressy than my usual.
10. Birthday outfit. I will be turning 30 on the 30th August. I know right you can’t believe I’m 30 either, can you? CAN YOU? To celebrate the twin and I (funnily enough also turning 30) have a restaurant overlooking the Bellagio fountains and a show booked. Therefore I need an outfit that says EVERYONE LOOK AT ME I’M THE BIRTHDAY GIRL without actually making everyone look at me because weird.
Here is a selection of things I am on the hunt to buy, with links below. If you want to make any recommendations – please tweet me!
*there is no GoFundMe for anyone that thinks I’m being a dick. Just try and click the link, k?