The Dating Sweet Tooth

With the veritable sweet shop that is internet dating, it’s often a challenge to keep your eye on the Wispa when your body is telling you, you need a Kit Kat Chunky. So how do you know if the guy you’re dating is truly keeping your attention?

When you have a Dating Sweet Tooth, you need an Interesting Guy. He is the Rocky to anyone else’s Breakaway. When you don’t have a Rocky in your cupboard, your sweet tooth starts giving you jip. Symptoms of a dating sweet tooth include: Boredom of repeated ‘how r u?’ conversations, deficiency in compliments, a wandering eye, a ‘trying to organise the next date’ headache and an empty stomach feeling.

When my sweet craving is not being satisfied by a potential suitor, it’s because they either don’t give me enough attention or I find myself becoming bored with them. If this happens, I tend to get quite awful at replying to texts and quite good at checking out my apps for other chunks of chocolate. Eventually I do discuss with them the probability of not seeing each other again. I DO NOT tell them it’s because I am no longer interested. It’s not cool to be cruel. I’ll just say I’m not feeling it any more or just not bothered with dating. I’m giving up sugar for Lent!

So how can someone keep my cravings at bay?

Regular text conversations (read: BANTA) are where it’s at. We’re all busy people so I don’t expect a text every 2 minutes but if we enter a whatsapp convo daily and you’re making me actually LOL whilst typing out cry laugh emoji faces, then you’ll make me excited to receive the next one, whenever it comes.

Timely organisation of dates. If you leave me waiting weeks between dates, chances are things will fizzle out and I will have started dating someone new in the meantime. HOWEVER if I do like you and we organise one in a few weeks because of work/holidays etc then I will understand and not be so quick to fill the time in between with other flavour Oreos.

Compliments ahoy. I thrive on compliments. They’re like my oxygen. I start to shrivel up and die without them. If you’re shit at telling me that my last meme made you die laughing or that I look banging in my last Insta selfie then chances are I’m going to need to get em elsewhere. There’s only so many times my friends (or even myself) can tell me I have great cheekbones.

Just being The Interesting Guy. If I meet someone who has loads in common with me, someone I hugely fancy or someone that can crack me up, I will forget about everyone else. All other guys pale in significance and I even begin to relegate a few I could’ve dated to the Whatsapp graveyard, purely because all I can think about is The Interesting Guy.

Once I’ve found The Interesting Guy, then the sugar addiction kicks in. Which is just as fucking bad.

A post on that soon perhaps?

Have you ever suffered with The Dating Sweet Tooth? How do you combat it?

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1 Comment

  1. Alice Red
    September 12, 2016 / 12:45 pm

    This post cracked me up – but it’s so true! I guess when you meet the right person, you forget about the other sweets, but oh my… there are a lot of sweets.