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An ode to snogging

Does anyone else remember being a teenager and terrified of snogging? Perhaps you practised on your Westlife poster. Maybe the back of your hand. You might’ve been lucky enough to have a mate that was equally horrified of macking out, who promised to practise with you as long as you both made a blood oath never to tell.

Do you remember going in to your first snog? Brain in overdrive. Does my head go to the left or right? Do I open my mouth and seal it around his? Shall I pop a tongue in? Do I lick his or just leave it there? What do I do with my teeth?

Do you remember having a brace and picturing yourself gnarling up his mouth like some awful scene from a SAW film?

Early snogging was treacherous and unfound ground. But now, as a fully seasoned snogger and single grown up, I BLOODY LOVE IT.

In long term relationships, it can often be the first thing that goes. Those frenzied make out sessions that almost always ended in a little hubba hubba. Those moments of feeling like you can not have enough of the other person’s mouth, can soon lead way to chaste pecks on the lips.

In early relationships, snogging really is a deal breaker. I’ve spoken before about the ‘bitty flobby lip’ where I’ve kissed a guy who’s bottom lip seems to start at my chin and work its way up. I’ve been with guys that don’t use tongue. Are you married bro? What’s going on there? If your snog styles don’t sync, it’s just not going to work.

There is nothing that dampens the flames of passion quicker than someone with a darty tongue. One that pokes in and out and you’re never quite sure if you actually felt it or not. On the other hand, for me, there is nothing that dampens downstairs quicker than a seductive lip bite or tongue suck.

Snogging is the great dating surprise. When you first kiss the person you (hopefully) fancy (and aren’t just snogging them because you’re bored but can’t imagine they’re someone else) you learn so much about them. If they tug on your bottom lip with their teeth, it could indicate they’re a bit kinky or if they go straight in with a pile driver tongue it’s clear no one has told them about themselves.

Dancefloor snogs. Front of club snogs. Bar snogs. Walking home snogs. London Bridge snogs. In the rain snogs. SNOG SNOGS.

Ugh, can you tell I’m a fan?

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9 Comments
  • Stephanie Hartley
    August 22, 2016

    I’m pretty sure my early teenage years were spent in horror of my first snog haha. The whole idea of what to do basically terrified me but I agree that snogging is fab now, and in my current long term relationship it’s definitely the way forward in persuading me to engage in a little bit of ‘hubba hubba’

    Steph – http://www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

  • WhatLydDid
    August 22, 2016

    When I was a teen, I was TERRIFIED of snogging, partly because I had braces and thought they would somehow mash the poor guys up (?!) and partly because I thought I would just have a tongue stuck in my mouth. What if I had bad breath? What if he did?!

    It all seems so silly now, but I am rather glad that I have been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years so we know exactly what to do with one another, the prospect of having to learn all over again would terrify me!

  • Harriet
    August 22, 2016

    21 and I’m still at a loss at what to do with my tongue! Or theirs for that matter. Maybe I just don’t like tongues.

    Harriet | <a href="http://www.shakethistown.co.uk”rel="nofollow">Shake This Town</a>

  • Tamsin
    August 22, 2016

    I once kissed a guy I’d liked for years, and was SO let down. It was like kissing a washing machine on high spin. Massive deal breaker.

  • Heather
    August 22, 2016

    Love this post! You sure as heck can’t beat a good snog, I’ll never forget my first one, it was dreadful (the kind you have nightmares about) haha!

    Heather Xx
    100waysto30.co.uk

  • Mel
    August 27, 2016

    Ha – I love a good snog and you’re right they can be dealbreaker in the beginnings of a relationship. My fiance bit my lip the first time we kissed – guess it wasn’t too much of a disaster as I said yes to marrying him!

    Mel &#9733; http://www.meleaglestone.co.uk

  • Amy Rutter
    August 27, 2016

    I remember friends and I would practice on posters of Leo DiCaprio, how embarrassing.

  • Charlotte
    August 29, 2016

    Loved this post! Totally agree and over the years it really proves that if you’re not in sync then ultimately its going to end up in a mess haha! x

  • Lisa
    September 14, 2016

    Kissing is my most favourite thing. Especially when you’ve both been kissing for a couple of minutes, things are heating up and you’re both letting out little moans or smiles.

    Fave, fave, FAVE!

    (Although, I hate the term “snogging”… ewww!)

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