Whenever I think back to my prom, or my end of primary year discos, there are a few vivid (horrifying) memories that stick out. Like when I tried to dance to Bodyshakers by 911 and fanny farted or how I dressed like Stephanie McMahon. However there are some absolutely cracking flashbacks that tend to be related to the following:
Chokers. We loved chokers.
1. Shag bands. At my innocent age of 11 I had no idea what each colour meant. Or maybe I did but I’ve blocked it out in a PTSD kinda way. All I know is that it was forever my mission to force my crush to snap as many as possible and if the gross boy in 6S did it first, I was LIVID. Because that usually meant I had to leave his tongue in my mouth for 14 seconds.
2. Saturday Night by Whigfield. Trusty old HMV, purveyors of musical whimsy are THE place to go to, to find the ultimate school disco playlist and if this absolute banger didn’t make it on, you must be older than 35. Spending the whole week perfecting the routine in your mirror for the school DJ to only play it for half of the song was devastating.
3. Candy cigarettes. You always took a couple of packets so you and your mates could hang these out of your gob and make yourselves look like a motherfucking P.I.M.P.
4. C’est La Vie by Bewitched. Another belter that would definitely make it onto the playlist, this Irish ditty had you thinking you were Stagecoach alumni every damn time. Because you definitely Irish jigged and you definitely attempted to sing the song in an accent.
5. Plastic chokers. Back in fashion now, these elasticated black bad boys made you believe all the boys would be chasing after you for a slow dance to Flying Without Wings by Westlife.
6. Stop by Spice Girls. I think a dance routine pattern is emerging with my song selection but the lead up to school discos always resulted in running up a phone bill requesting this on The Box.
7. Butterfly clips. Straight hair, at 11 was not in. GHD’s hadn’t been invented and the only way to wear your hair to the school disco was crimped AF. However your Mum was always so awful at it that you ended up looking like an electrocuted Hermione Granger and the only thing that could tame the wildebeest that was your hair were those tiny, useless clips that came in an array of neon colours.
8. It’s Like That by Run DMC. Oh the song that made all the boys arrange themselves in packs on the dancefloor to show off which breakdancing moves they knew. Which was actually only ever sliding on their knees and spinning on their head for half a turn before collapsing.
9. Cans of fizz and packets of crisps. Our school dance floors were no Tiger Tigers and there was no sign of a BBQ sharing platter or a tequila. Nope, we had to fight over supermarket own brand crisps and make sure we didn’t get left with the cherry Coke.
10. Mysterious Girl by Peter Andre. It’s the end of the night. Maybe you’ve spoken to your crush. Held hands. Had a peck on the cheek or even slow danced but now it’s time to get your 11 year old self WERKING. He’s going to lift his shirt up to show a pigeon chest and no hair and you’re going to go absolutely cray for it.
So here are the songs and things that made my school discos great – what would be on your ultimate playlist?
This post was written in collaboration with HMV, but as ever, all the thoughts and terribly brilliant song choices are my own!