In Sarah Knight’s best-selling book, ‘The Life Changing Magic Of Not Giving A Fuck,’*she encourages us to reflect on all of the things, in life, that we give a fuck about. She then encourages us to reeeeaaally reflect on whether those fucks are worth giving, and if not, binning them.
I read the book Christmas before last and instantly wrote a blog post where I created my own fuck budget. Where I laid out all of the things I was giving too many fucks about and shouldn’t and the things I should give more fucks about – and it was revolutionary.
So I’m doing it again.
Knight suggests we split our fucks up into 4 categories – things, work, friends and family. So join me in reflecting on all of the things we really should be giving less fucks about.
I’m fatigued. I really am. As a social app where I can chat to online pals, catch up with distant friends, have a giggle and be inspired – I love it. But I’m really tired of the begginess, the desperation, the fakeness and the downsides of the app. And the fact that is just an app.
All I want to do is look at silly memes, laugh at people’s funny ranty stories and look at celeb photoshop before and afters – IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?
I’m trying to rely less on it for work, which is tough as it now makes up a significant portion of my income, so that I can use it more for fun.
I also reeeeaally want to give less fucks about the numbers. It’s so hard when it feels like a measure of your worth, your hard work or your talent.
But in 2019 I’m going to endeavour to use it more as a social network and less as something to stress over and snap at Ben over when he makes me look like a potato in pictures (it’s not his fault I resemble a particularly waxy Maris Piper).
Caring What Others Think
I’m by myself 90% of the week due to working from home and it’s such an easy atmosphere to let anxiety over ride you in.
In 2018 I was forever scared to speak my truth, be unapologetically me or worried that I’d done something wrong that I let it consume me.
Honestly the AMOUNT of funny, sarky or sassy tweets hidden in my drafts because some sort of Sandra will chime in and jokesplain them to me is far too many.
This year I really am all about, ‘doing me’ and letting other people’s thoughts, opinions and comments wash over me. Oh and hitting that block button with delicious revelry.
Since working from home full time I have gotten into some baaaad habits with regards to non existent exercise, far too much caffeine, way too much screen time and not enough water.
If I’m not careful, I’m going to resemble Donald Trump’s nutsack before 35 and my organs will be in a worser state than Kate Moss’s.
So an attempt to ‘move’ once a day, cutting back to just the 60 Diet Cokes a week and at least a thimble of water a day is a good place to start.
I’ve spoken so much about my awful memory, and you’ll know by now that my bedroom usually has more clothes on the floor than in the wardrobe but in 2019 I’m making it my mission to get more organised.
Some of the things I’ve done so far are;
- *Buying a make up organiser* so I’m not rooting around 6 make up bags every time I try to get ready.
- Purchasing a display case for my glasses/sunglasses* so I don’t keep losing pairs.
- Grabbing a weekly pill box* so I can remember to take my anti anxiety pills and supplements each day.
- Filing receipts, cleaning up my Google drive and locating important paperwork.
I’m Marie Kondo-ing the shit out of life.
Things That Aren’t A Good Fit
In 2018 I took on brand deals, clients and collaborations that I could tell from the offset weren’t going to be good for my mental health but I took them on anyway because I was terrified of not earning money or growing my business.
In 2019 I’m being way more selective. My mental health is my number 1 priority this year and I’m not going to take things on that will be a detriment to that.
The dream is to have the vast majority of my work automated by the end of the year – that way I can focus solely on the things that make my brain happy. And watching more Netflix.
I let others draw me into an aspect of competition in 2018. I felt like people were stealing my ideas, or getting salty over what I was doing and it made me feel like I had to be in competition with them.
I also took it really hard when I’d boost others up – even if they were my ‘competitors’ and they’d be snakey behind my back or ignore me.
I can’t be arsed in 2019.
I’m only making time for people who are reciprocal, supportive and lovely.
Everyone else can suck my clit.
I’ve started 2019 more excited than EVER for this space here. In 2018 I gave so much energy to things that weren’t providing a return whilst the blog suffered (in my head anyway).
But in my eagerness to get more of my fearless self back, I’ve got a ton more motivation to write posts that, ‘tell it like it is’ – whether that’s in relationships, mental health, life or pop culture – so I can’t wait to get those posts out too!
I realised this year that the thing that gives me the most joy out of the work I do at the moment isn’t the brand collabs or sponsorships but the work I do with the Exciting Emails members.
Whether that’s Facetiming my coaching babes that have become total bezzies and laughing over the algorithm, the toothpaste on my jumper that I didn’t bother to change or the 19 Ferrero Rocher wrappers in view or making resources to help them up their blogging games – it makes me really happy!
The blogging industry is full of em – they’re not always fake in a bad way! More that I’m naive and want to be bezzies with everyone to later learn that they only want to be ‘blog friends’ with me.
I haven’t got time to put energy into people that isn’t reciprocated this year. I’m putting that energy into me, my family and my OGs.
Pretending To Make Plans
I’m reeeeaallly bad for making plans with people and then cancelling due to laziness or anxiety. Or making plans that I know full well I won’t keep to.
I’m vowing not to do that anymore. If I make a plan with you, I’ll stick to it and if I don’t make them with you, it’s either because I know it’ll make me too anxious or I’d rather buy microwave mash from M&S and stick it in a bowl of gravy in front of the TV.
Making New And Real Friends
Friendship is really fucking tricky isn’t it? Especially as an adult. Especially when you work for yourself. Especially when you don’t have a huge bank of em.
So I’d quite like to put more effort into nurturing new relationships and to turn them into long term friendships. Apply within, yeh?
Not Double Booking
Here’s how it goes. ‘Whatsapp plan comes through’ ‘I reply confirming, can’t wait, let’s catch up YAY, when?’ ‘Date is confirmed’ ‘Cool I’ll diarise it now!’ ‘Instagram notifcation, 4 new emails, an empty Diet Coke can that needs changing and POOF it’s gone.’
Then a new plan comes along, I check the diary, it’s empty, I pop it in and BAM text from friend reconfirming plans and shitfuckballs I’ve booked a meeting or now have work to do.
In 2019 I’m making a REAL conscious effort to not get distracted and to put things in the diary as soon as they are confirmed. Pray for me.
Whew these last 3 years since my Mum passed have been a whirlwind. Family members have come, gone, come back and gone again and I am finally at my 0 fucks limit.
I’ll probably have 1 family member at my wedding and whereas it once made me quite sad, it now makes me quite relieved!
To carry on the above vein, I’ve really aligned my priorities when it comes to our wedding THIS YEAR (OMFG I have 2p saved) and those priorities are, Me, Ben, Nearest and Dearest, having a bloody good time.
And that’s it.
I don’t care if so and so is offended by no invite. Or that so and so doesn’t think they can get there if their pals aren’t invited. Thank u, next.
She’s in a good place. We’re in a good place and I just want to see her more. It’s annoying with our work schedules and the fact that she has a dog that is a total demon and seems to hate me, but I miss our Sister Act time and I need to be the Tia to her Tamara ASAP.
Yep. I want a baby. Not right now. Just need to take over the world, get married, get a nice house that isn’t 366457 degrees in the summer and save a bit first, but soon. And I have no idea about my own fertility. I just worry that it’s not good.
So this year imma take my folic acid, be healthier and probs see a doctor to rule anything scary out.
So there we have the things I’m spending my fucks on this year. What’s within your budget?
And if you’re going to be giving more fucks about your blog, perhaps the free 2019 Blog Plan that comes with signing up to Exciting Emails will be handy?
Download it here…