The Bermuda-ting Triangle

As a relationships blogger, this play on words is perfect so guys can we all just take 5 secs to LOL at this title. Massive self-five going on there but let me explain. Whereas the Bermuda Triangle is an area where strange disappearances occur, the Bermuda-ting Triangle is the area where feelings in a relationship disappear because a person is not meeting all of your needs. Here’s a crude diagram made pretty in a flatlay…

relationships blogger bermudating triangle

A successful relationship needs to be equal parts sexual, friendly and romantic. When one of these elements is not present, a relationship will not last. Let’s look at the different types of relationships that include a combination of two of these elements. This relationships blogger is not quite fulfilled by these…

Sexy Friends
Or fuckbuddies. Or booty calls. You fancy each other. You can watch a boxset on Las Vegas jails together and laugh at American weirdos and you may even go as far as to hang out in groups or take a trip to the cinema together but the romantic feelings just aren’t there. You don’t want to show each other off. You don’t imagine a future. You’re not bothered about meeting each other’s friends and you just don’t care enough about each other to be on each other’s minds.

Without romantic feelings of love, this relationship never progresses past the, ‘just seeing each other’ stage and it never will.

Sexy Lovers
You’re absolutely obsessed with each other. The passion is intense and the sex is wild. But ZOMG you can’t stand each other. You agree on nothing. There’s no common ground. You don’t have the same sense of humour.

Well I’m sorry Miss Multiple Orgasms, this guy is going to drive you crazy and not in the ‘wow he has a bent penis that just HITS’ kind of way. Before long you’ll want to throttle each other and that spark of sexual chemistry will be put out quicker than you did on the first date.

Friendly Lovers
The sneakiest of all relationships. This bastard will trap you for years until you realise that he hasn’t seen you in anything other than your period pants and spot cream for 4 years and the last time you tongue kissed was on your 6th date.

This relationship is sneaky because it’s a happy one. Your best nights are catching up on GBBO whilst ordering Dominos and trumping in front of each other. But unless you do all of these things and go down on each other regularly, you are just mates and I’m sorry. You may love each other. You may really really care. But most humans can’t survive without sexual attention and that’s where problems arise.

If any one of those key elements are missing in a relationship, it will never be as fulfilling as a relationship that has all of the elements. So why would you settle for just best mates? Or just fuck buddies? Or just unbridled passion? Sure these relationships are great as stop gaps and time fillers and can be immensely pleasurable and fun BUT can you really live without friendship, love and passion in your life-long relationship? I urge you not to.

Instead, find the one who makes your side split with laughter, who you want to rip the clothes off of years down the line and the one you think about in your quiet moments and never let them inexplicably disappear like a boat across the Atlantic.

Want to find out what dating is like for a dating blogger?

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5 Comments

  1. July 31, 2017 / 10:59 am

    This was a really great post! Where is your bed sheets from? x

  2. Nate
    July 31, 2017 / 12:02 pm

    Yep. Friendly lover was my MO until my mid thirties I reckon.

  3. July 31, 2017 / 5:56 pm

    Every so often you write a post that makes me want to go YEEESSSSSS VIX, YEEEEESSSS and this is one such post. You speak the truth.

  4. Erin
    July 31, 2017 / 8:52 pm

    Haha I love this, story of my life 100% I once had a boyfriend who was in the Friendly Lovers, loved him as a person but he had a hairy back and I had ZERO urge to go there, such a shame lol

    Erin || MakeErinOver

  5. August 3, 2017 / 6:34 pm

    Excellent post as per. I always say that living in a sex-less relationship would be like living with my bestie; I love her to pieces but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to bone her.