The search for Mr Right can, for some, be a long slog. Navigating the realm of dating can present a range of men. From bankers to wankers. Docs to cocks and everything in between. We all have a differing definition for what ‘Mr Right’ constitutes. But it shouldn’t really be all that different. Mr Right should always be a High Quality Man.
What is a High Quality Man (HQM), you ask? I’m not going to paint you a picture of someone like Chris Pratt – it’s not about looks, money, success or even personality to some extent. In fact, it’s hard to paint a picture because high quality men come in all guises.
So how can you get a HQM? You look for him in his behaviours. Here are some indicators you’ve found one, from first message to full relationship.
Lots of people have scoffed at my use of The Office quote, ‘ultimate fantasy?’ as my dating app opener. For some, I’m misleading guys who then reply with a sexual fantasy but actually, it helps me locate a HQM. What man of any quality would tell a stranger, in the first message, what their sexual fantasy was? Any man of quality would question why I would ask such a thing OR reply with the rest of The Office quote (quality). I recently changed tact and have started to ask, ‘Where do you stand on women’s rights?’ As. An. Opener. I know, mental! Friends have said that it would drive men away. I argue, what high quality man is afraid to discuss gender equality?
A High Quality Man will always make an effort. He will listen to your likes and interests and try to plan a date around that. Or you will mutually discuss what you both enjoy and devise something. A HQM will not just leave it to you to decide or suggest something that just he wants to do.
When it comes to paying, a HQM will always offer but will be equally happy to split, if it’s what you want. Be warned though, a HQM believes in equality and will question why your hand never reaches for your purse during the dating period.
Don’t be mislead into thinking your HQM isn’t HQ because he puts the moves on, on the first date. This is because he fancies you. You spot the HQM from how they treat you afterwards. If they treat you any worse than on that first date, they’re not HQ. So look out for whether they try and escape straight away, take longer than usual to reply to messages or are resistant towards further dates. And then jog them on.
During a sexual relationship with a HQM, he will care a lot about satisfying your needs. He will be good in bed because he’s in tune with your body. He will also make sure that consent plays a big part. A HQM understands that both of your desires are equally important. So if he’s begging for the fourth blowie in a row and you haven’t had as much as a clit-tickle, I’d be doing some quality control.
A HQM understand the importance of effort. They will not resort to ‘just chilling at mine?’, after a few dates because they want to keep impressing and they want to cement the bond between you.
During this fledgling stage, a HQM will not be afraid to discuss where things are going or their feelings. They’re too decent to play games and are honest with their intentions. If their intentions are nothing more than sex, a HQM will flatly say this. They do not do ambiguity.
Making it official
A HQM would never think to hide you. They only ever date women they are proud of and when the time is right, the HQM wants to show you off. If it gets to this crunch stage and he still won’t post a picture of you or mention you to his Mum, there needs to be a bloody good reason.
Ending a relationship
A HQM does not have time or energy to waste on things that aren’t going anywhere. He is not a coward. If things aren’t working, he will communicate this with you and things can end amicably.
Once the relationship has ended, a HQM will respect your wishes. If you wanted a complete break – he will leave you alone and you’ll never hear from him or of him, again. If you wanted to stay friends, he will check in on you but he will not creep on you at midnight when all of his other options haven’t panned out.
As women, we are forever striving to be the best versions of ourselves, to feel confident, to be successful, to be a good friend and to just not be a massive twat. We need to start expecting the same from our partners. If you believe that you’re a High Quality Woman then never settle for a less than High Quality Man.