Dream Phone first appeared in my life during TV ad break between Baywatch and Gladiators sometime in the nineties. It’s bright colours, beautiful girls and THAT phone that just screamed, ‘Saved By The Bell’, spoke to me, little 10 year old me.
My parents bought me the game as a birthday present and I remember strutting into Primary School the next, like an absolute Billy Big Bollocks, ready to tell every one in my class that it was in my possession.
The popular girls in my class finally gave me the time of day and immediately asked when they’d be invited round to play.
I asked my Mum that afternoon, she stocked up on Richmond sausages, oven chips and Jubblies (the ice lollies) and we were ready to embark on a game that would teach us a lot about love.
Here’s what we all learned:
Don’t Have A Type
Because what’s the point? One day you’ll be all about Paul, the football player with luscious brown locks and the next day, you’re more interested in blonde artist, Brad.
Keep Your Crushes A Secret
Because one of your friends will blab. Especially if you have to share the phone call with them when the, ‘Share Secret’ card is played.
Conduct Your Affairs In Private
Because if you have to play the Speakerphone card and EVERYONE has to hear your nervous giggle and watch you turn the same shade of pink as the phone itself, your love life can be pretty embarrassing.
Because even a card and an electronic voice over a plastic phone is about to BREAK YOUR FUCKING HEART. You go through the whole game with a favourite and you’re just praying that he doesn’t fancy your mate (and they bloody win) just to get to the end and have your hopes dashed. And if that isn’t a metaphor for Tinder, I don’t bloody know what is.
Bagging Your Crush Is The Best
Because what is a better feeling in life than spending years (20 minutes tops) pining over the best looking guy you know (a card, it’s a picture on a card) to find out that they love you back.
And even though you played this game solidly for 3 weeks and then forgot about it as soon as your newest Tamagotchi needed a poo, you’ll always remember how you grew as a person through the ecstasy and heartache.
Did you play Dream Phone? What are your fondest memories?
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