Love Island Series 4, Episode 11 (previous episode here) – this is Friday’s episode but I was at a hen-do, soz.
The text votes are in and Alex and Charlie discuss their status in the house They both agree that they’re vulnerable. Alex because he’s only friends with Samira and Charlie, well because Charlie’s with Hayley.
Hayley, Samira and Laura are chatting about how she feels towards Charlie. The girls question her interest in him as they’ve been cuddling and kissing. Hayley says she’s playing it by ear. I don’t think she knows what that means. You play leaving it 5 minutes late to catch a bus, by ear, not why you’re snogging the bare eyebrows off of someone.
Georgia is talking about her wild side. She is just crackers isn’t she. Georgia is the Super Hans of the house and of course, anything the boys say – she does. They dare her to jump in the pool and because she must prove that she is the ultimate ‘cool girl’ – she does.
For anyone unaware of what I mean by being the, ‘cool girl’, I wrote a post on it a few years ago. So, so, appropriate.
Rosie, Samira and Megan are chatting whilst Georgia is bouncing around the house like a Tasmanian devil. Megan tells them she thinks Georgia are full on and dramatic. But it’s Ok, because she can definitely trust these two to keep the convo between them.
The boys follow Georgia into the pool and perform some sort of inaudible gorilla chant that should only be heard in rugby changing rooms. The girls look on with that smile we all make when someone we absolutely can’t stand, walks over to us and breathes.
Because Rosie is most definitely not a bitchy girl who hates bitches and bitching – she of course tells Adam everything Megan was saying about Georgia. Adam COULD NOT give less of a shit.
Jack and Dani feel terrible for their vote. She’s crying with guilt but Jack tells her she’s beautiful. I don’t think he could be more smitten unless she was a walking, fake-tanned, pen with veneers.
After the break, Rosie is telling the girls that Adam was trying to turn her on and they’re struggling with sexual tension. We all PRAY that one of them tell her that she soon as she bangs him, he’ll go on to someone else. It’s like Geordie Fuckboy Law.
Dani really regrets voting Alex and Samira and so does Jack. But they played by the rules, bless them. It’s almost sweet that they are too dim and naive to have voted strategically here.
Hayley and Charlie are discussing compatibility and what it means. Hayley reckons they are, because they’ve got something in common. Other than mutual disdain, I can’t work out what.
Hayley doesn’t see people who have know each other a week as being compatible. She tells Charlie over and over again that she doesn’t rush things with people.
How many different ways can she say she’s not interested?
Jack and Alex are hugging and bonding over Alex possibly leaving.
Alex describes Jack and Dani as ‘sick’.
I do a sick.
Georgia and Josh are off on their first date – snorkelling.
Josh asks Georgia her type and she of course describes him.
The two (most unlikely couple ever) return from their date and Josh reckons he got attacked by a jellyfish. It was a slimy thing with a sting but he’s sure it wasn’t Eyal.
Jack tells Dani he can see her as his girlfriend.
Dani tells us that she thinks she’d love to be his girlfriend but he hasn’t even made her a coffee yet. She’s got standards, that girl.
The Boys get ready for the evening and Charlie continues to not tint his brows.
Hayley and Charlie chat. Which I can’t work out why because they never ACTUALLY say anything to each other. He tells her that she’s been cold and disinterested but that he’s taken it pretty well considering Eyal would shout at her. She disagrees that Eyal shouted at her and walks off and calls him boring.
Does she not know what boring means either?
Caz Flaz is on her way to the villa and she walks in slow mo. It’s like the opening credits to Baywatch except she hasn’t got a Hasslehoff equivalent.
In the villa, Caroline asks Charlie and Hayley how they’re getting on. They both have something in common as they agree – not bloody well.
She asks Meyalan how they’re doing and before Megan can pull a Melania Trump and scream behind the eyes, Eyal answers that THINGS ARE VERY EXCITING AND NOT AT ALL FORCED.
Everyone is asked to stand up and the couples who are safe sit down one by one.
In order of safety, these couples are called; Josh and Georgia, Jack and Dani, Wes and Laura, Adam and Rosie, Eyal and Megan (WEEP) which leaves Samira and Alex and Hayley and Charlie – Haylie are booted off.
The girls help Hayley pack her suitcase and she assures them she’ll find someone to love her for her. The nation doubt it.
Ben’s Thought Of The Night: I wonder if Charlie and Hayley have compatible IQs?