Love Island Series 4, Episode 19.
I missed two episodes due to being on holiday (Friday and Sunday) and wondered whether to catch up but I looked at my notes for each episode and decided they were boring and I didn’t need to. SOZ DON’T HATE ME.
I’m back from a gloriously hot, coupling-drama and ditch-free long weekend in Cornwall and we’re back into this episode of Love Island with a crash.
Ellie tells the girls she’s not sexually attracted to Alex. I’m not sure he knows this.
Even though she’s flinched every time she has to kiss him and sleeps with more than half of her body dangling out of the bed but some people just can’t take the hint, y’know.
Samira reveals that she does like Sam but Dani realises she’s shit at flirting.
The ONLY way Samira made it through the auditions of this show is through audition experience because honestly, whilst she’s gorgeous, she has absolutely zero chat.
Dani can’t believe Samira calls Sam ‘dollface’ and ‘babycakes’ and honestly, neither can I. I haven’t uttered those terms since singing it out loud in an Oceana in 2004.
The girls practise flirting with Samira so that she’s confident in pulling Sam aside for a chat.
She takes Sam off for a catch-up but she has NO CHAT and it’s excruciating. Am I losing my mind here? Or does she actually ever speak? Help me.
He tells her he wants to leave the villa with a girlfriend but he thinks there’s a barrier that needs to be crossed into romance.
I’d start with having a conversation on something other than both your names being Sam tbh, mate.
Samira tells Ellie she needs to be honest with Alex. It appears that every contestant knows Ellie isn’t interested except Alex.
It’s the next morning and Adam asks Alex how things are going with Ellie and he tells him he’s got more chance with the Queen than getting affection from Ellie.
He’s not wrong. If you had to wake up to a wrinkly-bollocked racist Phillip every day, you’d fancy your chances with Alex too.
He tells the group that he needs to find out why Ellie is making no effort. He wants to know why she wanted to couple-up with him if she’s not into it. Alex reckons a game-plan is underfoot.
Eyal wants Megan to be more playful and silly because he feels like they don’t have much fun.
To be honest, I don’t know how much fun anyone would have in a couple where the sole-source of conversation was coconut matting and curl-defining mousse but hey-ho.
Megan always knew there was something missing with her and Eyal. A genuine connection that goes beyond the dream of the most editorial cover OK Magazine has ever had, perhaps?
Ellie tells Jack and Dani she needs to be honest with Alex. She doesn’t fancy him. It’s just not there.
Alex tells Dani and Laura that he thinks Ellie is playing games. Dani and Jack thinks he should speak to her and not assume she is.
At this point, the Doctor is getting fully worked up over the thought that Ellie has manipulated him into thinking they could be a thing to then not putting any effort in. Are we seeing a different side to this ‘nice-guy’?
In today’s challenge, the couples have to answer questions about each other in a Mr and Mrs style format.
One of the questions asks, ‘How many sexual partners has your girl had?’ and Megan is pissed Off that Eyal said 37 when she’s actually ONLY had 20.
Ok babe, we need to have a quick chat here. 1) 37 and 20 is not wildly different. 2) If you’re proud of your sexual freedom, why have you limited that pride to 20 blokes but are ashamed of any more? 3) If you’ve been sexually active for say 6 years, 37 is something like 0.1 guy a week so get a grip.
In a question over traits that turn you off, Wes calls Laura ignorant in front of everyone and then wonders why she’s so upset. Talk about ignorance.
Adam reckons he’s had over 200 partners. Which is basically one every other week from the age of 16. Whilst not out of the realms of possibility – we’ve all seen how he kisses, so I call bullshit.
Laura is fuming with Wes for calling her ignorant. She thinks that Wes picks on her and is rude to her.
Wes talks to the boys and says that she’s 29 and she should know better to talk things through. He loves to constantly bring up that she’s 29. Picks on her and is rude to her, eh? Hmmm….
Megan is chatting to the girls and says irritants with Eyal are building up because they’re not on the same page with the same sense of humour. Should they go their separate ways?
Wes tells Laura she’s got the wrong end of the stick. She says he’s on thin ice. She thinks she’s giving him a lot and he’s not giving her much. She needs him to do more like compliment her, make her tea and breakfast.
At this point I can’t quite understand why she still bothers with him but then I remember her 4ft wide grin after they banged and it’s clearer.
The gang are getting ready for the evening and whilst walking out of the villa, Dani said to Alex that he looks fit. He replies that it’s a shame Ellie doesn’t notice. Wah wah wah, poor Alex.
Everyone watches as Ellie pulls Alex for a chat. She tells him that there’s no sexual chemistry between them. Alex wonders why she said he was her favourite and wanted to recouple with him if she didn’t like him or fancy him.
He constantly talks over her to tell her that when she’s done talking, he’d like a turn to speak and my insides boil with rage. I’m hoping that she jumps on the table and uses her incredible thighs to choke him out in a leg/head-lock. She instead tells him he being cocky doesn’t suit him.
She walks over to the girls and tells them that Alex is making out to be a game-player and to look like she’s the bad one. Whereas Alex tells the guys that 3 hours after recoupling and getting into bed she changed her mind. Hmm not sure that’s how it works, Alex but we shall see…
Tonight’s preview looks juicy AF with a hint that Megan dumps Eyal and tries to make a move on Wes. He’s not the loyalest and we’ve had other hints that him and Megan get on swimmingly – could things finally erupt?
Hero: Last night my hero, as ever, was Dani. She’s sweet, charming, funny, kind and lovely and I can’t stop stanning her.
Villain: Alex was out of order. Yes Ellie should’ve told him that she wasn’t interested earlier and before telling everyone else but the way he snarled at her and spoke to her when she was being honest about her feelings was disgusting. Some times the ‘nice-guys’ are the most insidious and he’s really showing himself here.
Ben’ Thought?: ‘The Doctor has lost another patient.’ Pahaha.