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Love Island 4.23: Melons Are Spun, Jack Is A Hun And It’s A Whole Lotta Casa Amor Fun

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Love Island Series 4, Episode 23 – I didn’t do Thursday night’s episode because my TV broke and then I didn’t bother watching whilst at Liam Gallagher last night – soz pals… you can read the one before, here.

We’re back and the girls are getting used to the original boys’ absence from the villa.

Dani and Georgia are talking about whether or not they’re going to get hurt by their current beaus. Georgia worries that Josh will think she’ll be up to things so he will use that as an excuse to crack on. Whereas Dani iterates that she knows what girls are like and is worried.

Both need to be told that they’re more beautiful than Cinderella, they smell like pine needles, and they have faces like sunshine.

Over at Casa Amor and Alex and Wes are talking to Ellie about whether she has feelings for Jack. She  reckons has a soft spot for him as they left things quite open but she understands that him and Dani are now in a relationship.

She does also say that if Dani wasn’t around she would pursue things with Jack and the nation is about to pick up their pitchforks and torches and storm the villa to ensure that does not happen.

TEXT

There’s going to be a challenge that pits the original villa vs Casa Amor in a relay which involves passing ingredients. mouth to mouth, to make cocktails.

Jack’s upset at having to do mouth to mouth and thinking of Dani having to do it. These guys currently have 50k waiting to clear in their accounts – WE CAN FEEL IT.

To be honest, thinking of most of those inhabitants passing liquids is enough to make anyone feel sick.

The winning team of that challenge were the original villa and they win a cocktail party.

Adam, Alex and Sam are annoyed they didn’t win but they get onto the subject of Adam’s feelings now Zara is gone. And as if anyone dared to think differently – Adam is oopen to getting t’kna other lasses. He boozzed off Zara-like boot who’s to say he cannae be happier-like.

Jack wants to have a laugh but being away from Dani is really upsetting him. He misses her and the game is stressing him out. Wes tells him Dani will be thinking the exact same.

(until she gets a postcard that looks suspicious because WE ALL LOVE THE POSTCARD).

Alex is chatting to Charlie. Charlie said it’s intimidating coming in being around all of the other girls and getting to know the guys.

And because Alex has absolutely zero chill he tells her he loves her accent and wants to get to know her more.

Jack (new long-tall-head Jack) chats to Laura back in the main villa. She tells him she’s glad he came in and a replacement for Wes could be forming.

Megan chats to new guys Frankie, Dead and Alex and says she’s the chairwoman of the ‘Do Bits Society.’

Funny that, I thought DBS stood for, ‘desperately bitchy snake’ but I stand corrected.

Frankie, Dean and Alex all tell Megan they want to graft her but they ask her where she stands with Wes. And with a statement that is no shock to anyone – she reckons she doesn’t owe Wes any loyalty.

Samira takes Frankie off for a chat. She says she needs someone with energy and who is funny – like Sam. In response, he bangs on about how he’s really into Megan. They get up to leave and then Frankie asks why Samira bottled telling him she like him. She said she listened to vibes.

The ARROGANCE of this Made In Chelsea reject thinking he can sit on a day bed, wax lyrical about another girl and then wonder why Samira wasn’t falling over herself to graft him. Nope.

Samira tells Meg and Dani that she’s the person who never gets picked and she’s not wrong.

Side note: This is one of the most disturbing aspects of this show. They continually parade, ‘mixed-race’ as the ideal type and have everyone falling over any cast members that are more ‘exotic’ yet the minimal amount of black people they include are always rejected. I’m not the best person to speak on this subject but you should definitely read this article on the issues of colourism this show highlights.

Dani tells her she’s amazing, beautiful, intelligent and talented – it’s just that she’s just different Megan. Mmmhmm.

Megan follows Samira to the kitchen and tells her that her fillers and veneers mean nothing and that she would swap everything to be funny, talented and intelligent like Samira. Sadly Samira tells everyone that it’s ‘fine’ and she ‘gets it’ but honestly, it’s really fucking bad.

The boys in Casa Amor discuss who is sharing their beds. Josh wants Kaz, after getting to know her more. Sam said he doesn’t mind who shares with him so Savannah said she will.

Darylle asks if she can share with Adam. Alex asks Charlie if she’d like to bunk up. But BEAUTIFUL Jack decides to sleep outside as it feels too weird to sleep with girls.

Dani and Georgia, who are also showing their loyalty, go to the day bed because they don’t want to sleep with boys. Georgia says that she’s going to pursue things with Josh because he’s the only one she likes. Shame he’s not on the same page.

New Alex asks if he can share with Meg and we see the falling asleep after a bit of a cuddle.

The next morning, Laura reveals that she shared the bed with new Jack. All of these repeat names are going to get SO CONFUSING.

Jack goes back into Casa Amor with the boys. He asks for an update on what happened last night. Josh tells him he shared with Kaz and that he’s very excited. Any second thought to Georgia, I wonder?

Literally two episodes ago…

Adam thinks Darylle is a good distraction. From what? LOVING HIMSELF? Ohhhhh Zara. The one he apparently had genuine feelings for.

Wes reveals that doesn’t like any of the new girls as much as Megan. WOW I can’t wait for him to see he’s been pied.

Josh says that he prefers Kaz to Georgia. Georgia has immediately turned into our joint sweetheart and we just hope she won’t be too hurt. OR will we see an Amberesque break-down like lsat year?

Dean and Megan are talking and she said she likes his caring, sensitive side. She said she connects with him and Alex. Although the only things I can see they’ve all got in common are veneers. But y’never know – there might be a deep connection somewhere.

Alex tells Laura that he likes Meg. Laura tells him that Meg likes older guys and ones aren’t too cocky. At this point I reaaaaalllllly hoped Laura would’ve been like, ‘yeeeah you’ve got a chance but do you know that she’s actually got nits and her breath smells like shit,’ for a bit of payback. Turns out the Scottish air-hostess is a better person than I.

Wes tells Alex that no one compares to Megan. He tells Alex that the new guys will be all over her. The more Wes harps on about his ‘feelings’ for Megan, the more excited I get at the inevitable.

Laura did say that karma is a bitch.

Alex says that Josh is laying it in factor 50 thick with Kaz. We all wish Alex would lay the factor 50 on thick.

Sam talks to Ellie, Jack’s ex Ellie, a.k.a, ‘the one in the red bikini.’

She tells him her dream date is feeding pigs and going for a McDonalds. Ellie also didn’t realise that hot dogs are pork or what the difference between beef and lamb is and OH MY FUCK I’m bored of the same stream of dimbos constantly being thrown into this show.

Sam reckons there’s flirting with him and Ellie. He tells her it’s a weird one with Samira as they haven’t chatted about where it’s going. Also because he actually doesn’t even like her but strings her along for a place in the villa. He left that bit out to Ellie.

Darylle asks Adam how it felt to see Zara leaving. As if Adam has feelings.

He reckons he was happy with her but could be happier elsewhere and I swear this is becoming a catchphrase for the boys this series.

Adam says all the girls are nice but he’s clear on who he fancies. IS HE? WE AREN’T.

She said she’s happy to give him her undivided attention. Of course. She’s fallen into the prick-sand.

Alex tells Charlie she’s his type and that he loves her accent. For the second time today. FFS Doc, have an ice-lolly and a wank and just cut the desperation out.

Dani and Georgia are chatting and are constantly worrying about the boys. Dani thinks Joshua wouldn’t fuck Georgia over. For the first time in quite a few episodes – Dani is wrong.

Wes tells Josh that he likes Kaz more than Georgia. Josh says Kaz has spun his head. He doesn’t want to be disrespectful but as he can’t speak to Georgia first, he’ll just have to go for it.

Wes says that the game is all about being selfish and getting what you want. That’s why he left Laura for Meg. Oh that’s why, is it Wes?

Meanwhile Meg is chatting to Alex whilst Dean/Frankie (although these 3 are totally interchangeable) queue up to get their graft on.

Alex asks Megan who she likes and she says him and Dean. Megan thinks Alex is the whole package. She REALLY caused all that drama with Wes/Laura for this, huh?

She goes to the bedroom and Alex follows her and they kiss.

SO THERE WE GO… Is there going to be a postcard? Which boys are bringing which girls back and what does this mean for the original inhabitants? I GUESS WE’LL SEE ON SUNDAY.

Ben’s LIQ: I’m all for the two villas but if anything happens to Jani, I’m out. I’m far too emotionally invested in these two to carry on.

Hero: I can’t have Jack EVERY episode so this time it’s Georgia. She KNOWS Josh will be up to no good but she doesn’t want to risk messing things up by being disloyal so she decides to pursue things with him by not getting involved with the other boys. I just hope when she finds out what’s gone down that she doesn’t close up again and go back to the annoying, ‘cool girl’ we all saw at first.

Villain: Josh. Whilst he’s not been out-right evil it IS just a bit shit to know he made Georgia all these promises days ago and decides to go against them almost immediately.

Who are you loving/hating? Who will be staying from the new islanders and who will be gone?

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