Love Island Series 4, Episode 28. Read the episode 27 run down, here.
It’s the evening from the night before. Wes has tried to poach Megan and they both return to the rest of the gang looking totally suspicious. Glasses Control Freak Alex takes Charlie MICW off for a chat because he thinks something’s going on with Wes and Megan.
Wes tells the boys he spoke to Meg and tells them she said she still likes him. What he doesn’t fill them in on though, is Megan’s complete lack of ability to turn down cock. If Boris Johnson walked in and told her he really liked her and was willing to lay it all on the line for her, she’d probably shyly giggle, bite on her thumb and tell him that she gravitates towards him, too.
You ain’t special, Wes.
Megan tells Samira that Wes has turned her head again. Her head turns so frequently that she is, in fact, an owl.
Glasses Control Freak Alex asks to speak to Megan. He asks if he’s going to get mugged off. She said she still fancies Wes but has a better connection with him. She also definitely said the same thing to Wes, hence mugging him off. She reckons she’s not muggy at all and that she won’t lie to him. The boys see them snog.
It’s bed time and Alex asks if she’s friend-zoning him – they appear to forego their nightly fingerbang and just drift off to sleep.
It’s the next morning and Megan’s mind is all over the place. Samira stirs it and tells her that Alex loves her. Which for a complete commitment-phobe like Megan who is ONLY on the show to become famous and be the baddest biyatch, is an instant turn off. Samira knows this.
G tells the girls that she is over the Josh situation and is excited to have fun now. Ominous.
Wes and Georgia can each take 2 people on a date.
Wes, knowing Adam isn’t really bothered, takes Daryelle first.
Georgia takes Sam Bird. Who I’m sure we had all forgotten was even in there.
Georgia tells Laura she’s going to take Jack but doesn’t want her to be annoyed. Laura is clearly annoyed. In the same breath Georgia says that she’s just doing it because Jack will be fun, not because she fancies him but also because she likes him. WHICH ONE IS IT GEORGIA?
Megan is annoyed that Wes has taken Daryelle first. This further proves that Megan has a larger and more fragile ego than Adam.
Georgia speaks to Laura and further tries to explain that she’s not fake, that’s why she’s spoken to Laura first. She reassured Laura that she isn’t a Megan. But because no one can actually speak straight or honestly in this place, I’ll translate what Georgia was ACTUALLY saying (which is exactly what Laura surmised)
Out of all of the dregs left in here, I fancy Jack the most. I know you guys are coupled up and you like him and I’m supposed to be your friend but I want to play the game properly and go on to win and the only way I can do that is if I’m coupled up with someone that I (and the nation) can get behind and due to the lack of any interesting men in here, I’m going to have to scrape yours. Soz not soz.
Sam said he’s glad Georgia asked him out as he never wanted to step on Josh’s toes in the beginning. But Samira’s toes though mate?
Daryelle and Wes have a boring, small-talky date convo about careers and futures.
Georgia says her type was Josh on the outside. Sam says his type is Georgia. Awks.
Jack and Laura chat. She isn’t happy with Georgia but Jack says it’ll be fine. I do ACTUALLY think Jack likes Laura (as much as Wes did) but these men are fickle as fuck and as soon as attention is flung their way, they realise they’re not THAT into Laura and attempt to jump ship ASAP. This isn’t Laura’s fault because she’s banging. These are just weak-ass dudes.
In a surprise to no one, for their next dates, Georgia asks Jack and Wes asks Megan.
Laura tells Alex not to let Megan treat him like a mug. She tells him that Wes deserves better than Megan. For some reason, Alex is choosing not to see through it. Hmm I wonder why.
Megan is happy that Wes picked her. Because attention.
Georgia tells Jack that she chose him because he makes her laugh. Laura is her friend but she has to look out for herself. Not so much of a friend then, eh mate.
Megan says that Wes being absent made it easier to go for Alex but now that he’s back it’s harder.
Georgia tells Jack that he’s flirty. He said after Laura he would crack on with her.
They go to leave their dates and Wes kisses Megan on the lips, Jack goes for the peck but Georgia brings him in for more of a kiss. Not cool.
They come back to the villa.
Jack says that Georgia is fit but he’s attracted to Laura because he’s gotten to know her. Nice one. I’m sure Laura would like that distinction.
Georgia tells the girls she’s got a connection with Jack. Laura is fuming.
It’s the evening and inexplicably Tom Zanetti DJs.
Glasses Control Freak Alex pulls Wes for a chat. He wanted Wes to be a man and tell him he was going to take Megan out. Alex asks if Megan has a better connection with Wes. Wes says they do and that Meg kissed him. Alex is ANGRRRYYYY, he pulls Meg for a chat.
Alex asks Megan how the date was. She repeats her fembot like stock response that she’s repeated a million times before – repeated so much that I now know it verbatim – ‘I fancy Wes, he’s a good-looking boy but I have a better connection wiv you, it’s hard him being in here and I just want to see what happens.’
She also goes on to lie to him (which she said she never would) and tells him that Wes kissed her on the cheek, even though Wes told him they properly kissed. So for some reason, he tells her that Laura said that Wes deserves better than her which makes her angry. Even though it’s true.
The Islanders must gather round the fire pit. But where’s Cazza Flazza in her slow mo strutting glory?
Josh tells them, via text, that the public have been voting. Those with fewest votes risk being dumped.
There are three couples with fewest votes: Ellie and Sam, Megan and Alex, Daryelle and Adam.
Georgia and Wes must choose a person to couple with. The remaining contestants will be dumped.
Georgia couples with Sam.
Wes chooses Megan. And without a second look at Glasses Control Freak Alex, she walks over to sit by Wes.
This means we say goodbye to Adam, Daryelle, Alex and Racist Ellie.
Ben’s LIQ: New Ellie being deported off the island – anyone else spot the irony there?
Hero: Last night’s hero (out of a v v v v v slim pool to choose from – like Georgia choosing Jack) was Laura.
No she probably doesn’t have a right to get jealous over Jack going on a date with Georgia and no she possibly shouldn’t have gotten AS salty with G as she did BUT let’s think about this in real life terms…
If you went on a girl’s holiday to BEEFA with the sole intention of pulling and partying and you spent the first 3 days of the holiday necking on with the tall long-headed guy from the room next door, to find your mate going for tapas with him the next day – you’d be fucking fuming.
This isn’t that different apart from this being a ‘game’.
But therein lies the problem of having contestants like Laura, Dani and Jack who are using it as a genuine platform to meet someone (as well as elevating their fame status and Instagram followers) in a villa with out and out game players.
Villain: Because it can’t be Megan forever and because I’m a fickle, fickle fool – last night’s villain was Georgia.
My relationship with her has been SO up and down. From ‘OMG stop trying so hard to be cool girl, you’re annoying as fuck’ to ‘YASSS QWEEEEN LET’S ERECT STATUES’ to now: a bit peed off that she’s being a massive hypocrite over girl code.
How about you? Who are you loving (that’s not Jani) or not so much loving?