Love Island Series 4, Episode 29. You can read the previous run down, here.
Wes and Georgia have decided who to recouple with and the rest of the islanders are booted off.
Alex is sad that Adam’s going – he’s like a brother to him and a big softie really. We didn’t see ANY of that, did we? The only soft side we saw to Adam was when his penis was presented with anything that didn’t look like Zara.
Megan kisses Wes. She tells him that Laura said that he deserves better than her. Wes then goes on to slate Laura even though she’s sticking up for him because Megan has bounced from guy to guy. UNBELIEVABLE.
Megan asks to speak to Laura. She tells her what Alex said. Laura tells her that she goes back and forth between guys and that Wes deserves better than that. Megan wants to know why Laura is acting like a friend to then slag her off to the person she’s seeing.
Is Megan honestly that thick? To actually sit there and talk to Laura about being a friend when she wore HER shoes to go and hit on HER man? Laura tells her this and Megan calls her a piece of shit. Lovely.
Jack pulls Laura for a chat. He tells her that Georgia went for a kiss on their date. He tells Laura that she’s got to trust him that he’s not interested in G.
Laura asks to speak to Georgia. G gives her the run down. She told Jack that her loyalties lie with Laura. Laura tells her what Jack said about the kiss. Georgia denies it. Georgia calls Jack over. Jack repeats what happened and Georgia is trying to get out of it and walks away.
Two schools of thought here: either Georgia is lying and knew exactly what happened OR she genuinely believes Jack went for it – what do you guys think?
Ellie thinks Georgia needs to practice what she preaches and that she’s not loyal. As Georgia storms past her, Ellie says that what Georgia’s saying is bullshit. Georgia has a go at her and says that she would, ‘go for her’ if she carries on – in response, Ellie calls her an ugly cunt.
That escalated SO QUICKLY.
Am I the only one who missed Ellie’s complete dislike for Georgia?
Wes tells Jack, Dani and Sam that they (Georgia and Jack) kissed each other.
Dani immediately storms of to the kitchen to tell everyone what Wes saw – he then back tracks. Half of the islanders are slagging off Georgia, Dani’s trying to stick up for her and Laura’s in the middle. She calls Dani a dick – because, well she is KINDA being one by getting involved (but she is ALSO sticking up for a mate that’s being trash-talked so ah).
Next up, Alex pipes up to Ellie about how she shouldn’t name call and he gets so overly heated that he tells her to, ‘go away’. Calm down Alex, you’ll give yourself a heart-attack and you’re the only registered First Aider in there.
It’s the next morning and because Sam wants to get into her pants, he tells Georgia that Ellie is an idiot.
Ellie tells the girls she’s not friends with Georgia now. When were/weren’t they friends? I feel like I’ve missed it.
Georgia tells Sam that Laura should’ve trusted her. She reckons she’s not a grafter and hasn’t ever grafted a guy before. Eeesh.
Dani and Georgia are chatting and Georgia tells her that Jack was very forward on the date. They don’t understand why Ellie got involved. Georgia can’t see where she hasn’t been loyal. Dani comforts her and says that she knows that Jack is lying. But does she though?
Megan tells Frankie and Samira that she wasn’t ACTUALLY that into Alex and she’s so glad that her and Wes are coupled up. That’s weird because there’s at least 48 minutes of footage of her repeating the same lines over again: ‘It’s like really hard, like, because you’re the whole package, like and I haven’t met anyone else in here that’s like the full package.’
Charlie MICW tells the boys that he didn’t like Ellie calling Georgia names. He tells her that it makes him look bad – surprisingly self-absorbed (not that surprising). He says she should chat to Georgia. She doesn’t want to. She walks off instead of listening to him.
Laura and Dani chat. Dani doesn’t think Georgia wouldn’t lie and she thinks that Laura should trust Georgia. To be honest, I think even if Dani had seen the tapes she’d still argue that Georgia was just doing what any single girl in the villa would do and stick up for her, because she’s fiercely loyal, so this chat is kinda pointless.
Laura asks Jack why he didn’t comfort her after all of the arguments. She said she’s fed up of being nice to everyone and being shit all over. He said that he’s told her loads how he feels but that she doesn’t reciprocate.
Am I the only one that feels like Laura cannot communicate properly with whoever she’s seeing? Even with Wes she had these strained, ‘you’re not giving me what I need but I’m not going to tell you what I need,’ conversations. Exhausting.
There’s a Boys vs Girls challenge where one group dances for the other with heart-rate monitors attached. The group who get the most hearts racing win.
Alex demonstrates the challenge in the Diary Room by proving that he really can’t dance.
I feel sorry for any girl he tried to crack on with during Freshers Week at med school by inevitably dancing too close behind her and grinding his crotch against her bum whilst grabbing onto her waist even though she was just trying to get her Rihanna on with her mates. He’s DEFINITELY one of those.
Kaz comes out ready to dance for everyone. The guys all get full lap dances. Josh loses it.
Laura’s out next dressed as a devil. She licks Wes’s face (uncomfortable) and makes out with Jack.
Grace comes out in a nurse’s uniform and we realise she’s just as good at dancing as Alex. So she just takes temperatures with a stethoscope. Hopefully she’s not as good at medicine as Alex.
Ellie comes out dressed as a soldier and straddles everyone. Samira rubs her arse in everyone’s face and to be honest, I wouldn’t mind that. She’s got a great arse.
Megan comes out in a Moulin Rouge-esque costume and puts her stripping experience to good use.
Dani comes out as a cheerleader. She grinds all over Jack but hits the rest of the guys with her pom poms.
Georgia comes out in carnival attire and gives everyone a lapdance – with special attention given to Jack, Sam and Josh. What is she playing at?
Now it’s the boys turn. Josh gave Kaz the full show by grinding on her.
New Jack picks Laura up and grinds all over her but then he puts his thumb in Megan’s mouth. Which she LOVES. Tenner she’s on him next? I can see it!
Frankie thrusts into Samira face. Awks.
Charlie lap dances everyone. Mega awks.
Sam jumps all over everyone. Triple awks.
Alex is pouting and smouldering. He twerks and slut drops. So awkward that the physical cringe I felt made my skin and flesh invert on itself.
Jack snogs Dani and thrusts in her face. Then flexes and hip wiggles in front everyone. Less awks, just funny.
Wes pours water all over himself. He snogs Meg and grinds all over her. Who knew he’d be the Magic Mike to her Magic Meg?
Dani reads the results and it’s INTERESTING.
Alex heart raced most for Megan.
Old Jack’s heart raced most for Georgia. Ooosh.
Sam’s heart raced most for Georgia. Obvs.
Josh’s heart raced most for Georgia. Kaz is secretly fuming.
New Jack’s heart raced most for Georgia and so did Frankie’s and Wes’s.
Charlie’s raced for Kaz and someone’s raced most for Dani, I think but not sure who? Feel free to let me know if I got any wrong… I was still trying to not throw up from Alex’s display.
Now the girls and Kaz’s heart raced for Josh.
Samira’s for Wes. He DID have the moves tbf.
Grace’s for Jack. Essex for Essex.
Dani’s for Jack. That girl just bleeds loyalty.
Georgia’s for Wes. Again, MOVES.
Ellie’s and Megan’s heart raced most for Frankie. Apparently their type is awkwardly white. Fair enough.
Laura’s heart raced the most for Charlie. Odd.
The boys win as they made the girls’ hearts race the most.
And it’s the end of another episode filled with drama and not much humour. Except Alex’s dancing of course.