Love Island Series 4 Episode 3 Catch Up. Read the previous day, here.
We begin last night’s episode with Alex talking to Samira about the CRINGEY AS FUCK kiss from Hayley rejection. Samira, whilst still not interested in Alex, feels for him and wants to get to know him. They then proceed to spend their next 2 verbal sentences describing in painstaking detail how they are both, most definitely, not interested in each other.
Jack asks Dani if she thinks less of him for cheating on all 2! Only 2, yea but just 2 of his girlfriends. Dani displays the best stank face I’ve ever seen which is confirmation to herself that she is just not up for being, ‘cheated on girlfriend number 3’.
Laura now let’s Samira know that she does like Wes. And of course it has nothing to do with Adam rebuffing her for Kendall OR the fact that Wes once spent £1k on a date. Of course not.
Wes is chatting to the others about Laura. He isn’t sure that she is into it. I think he saw her tongue turn into a bank-note during the last challenge.
Kendall opens up to Adam about how she’s worried that he’s too good to be true. She can’t even look at him. Is it because she’s shy and nervous? Or is she worried she’ll drown in his murky pond eyes?
She lets him know that she won’t be quick to open up.
If anything in previous series is to go by this is a BIG OL WARNING SIGN that as soon as a new, keen, person goes in – the gal who’s more shy and retiring gets left behind.
Are we about to see another Johnny/Camilla and Tyga/Tyra/Ty-something situation?
Eyal talks to Hayley about his friendship not being reciprocated by her. SHE COULD NOT BE LESS BOTHERED.
He asks her what dog he has. Whilst I then shouted, ‘A rag made from hemp’ at the TV, Hayley shrugs whilst Eyal fills us all in on the fact he owns a golden doodle.
Laura and Wes are in the day bed for a chat. She is fishing for reassurance that Wes would’ve chosen her. She’s ticked every box according to Wes. Especially as her eyes are daft.
The nation wonders wtf daft eyes are. They have a smooch and retreat back to the Villa.
Niall asks Wes about his kissing technique and whether he does the, ‘insert image of me putting my tongue all the way round my lips in a circular motion’ (and try not to vomit on your cornflakes)’ technique. But Wes hasn’t done that since primary school, Niall.
It’s the morning and DANI IS BLOW DRYING HER LASHES. Sorry what? Is this a thing?
Laura tells the girls that Wes is a good kisser. Spending £1k on a date and you’d think the Child-Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is a good kisser.
Dani reveals that she is sure that just wants to be mates with Jack. At this point, Ben predicts a Dani/Niall Union – could it beeeee?
Kendall chats to Hayley about how she’s drifting from Niall. Hayley says that she would always go for personality over looks and that Kendall should remember that she’s more herself with Niall.
It’s the cleverest thing Hayley has said so far except her knowledge of the Spanish word for prawn.
Eyal tells Hayley that hewants to see where things are going with her. She wants to get to know everyone else as she only she’s him as a mate. She definitely ONLY SEES HIM AS A FRIEND, OK?
Dani’s got to talk to Jack later and she’s feeling horrible that she doesn’t have butterflies for him. She reckons that when you’re old and married you don’t fancy your other half any more but in under 3 days of knowing them, you should fancy them.
There is so much to pick apart here and I haven’t had a coffee or a knock to the side of the head yet.
She wishes she had a shot of vodka for dutch courage and so does the nation as the show is fucking BORING so far and getting smashed on Smirnoff could be a saviour right now.
Dani tells Jack there’s something missing, Jack agrees. He tells her that he wholeheartedly feels the same way.
He’s not bothered to the extent that Catherine Tate as Vicky was NOT BOVVERED (repeats it a million times) and then skulks off to the diary room to admit he is, in fact, bothered.
Dani is relieved that they both agree and she ONLY SEES HIM AS A FRIEND, OK?
The boys are to host a welcome drinks for two new girls.
Alex reckons his wife and the mother of his children is on his way in. Ah a new Nathan an Cara but perhaps with degrees. It’s the first time he’s smiled in 3 days.
Niall is the rainbow fish – he feels lost in the sea and needs a new female to come and give him his rainbow scales. The wannabe Chris Hughes strange metaphors are coming in thick and fast now aren’t they?
Hayley expresses an ounce of regret over fucking off Eyal now her place in the villa is under fire. Samira informs Hayley that she can’t be worried about Eyal as she doesn’t know his name. She teachers her how to say it. Hayley continues to call him Eeyore.
But will he be a depressed donkey after tonight?
Kendall pies Adam because she thinks he’s going to reject her soon for the new girl. That is so frigging COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. I might not eat this crisp sandwich in case that raw chicken gives me food poisoning. He reckons because they’ve kissed before she should be ok to kiss him now.
Aah Adam, consent does not work that way my friend.
Laura and the girls are all ABSOLUTELY FINE with the newbies going for Alex but Samira is worried about her place.
We cut to the girls observing the evening from the roof terrace and they are fuming the boys are wearing SHIRTS. How dare men who you have known for less than 72 hours get DRESSED and talk to other girls.
Wes says that he won’t throw himself at the girls, as he’s with Laura but he reminds us that at the same time, it’s LOVE Island it’s not Loyalty Island.
At this point I doze off into a daydream of a new reality TV show where contestants are thrown into a jungle and the last remaining person gets to keep all of the other (dead?) contestants Clubcard points.
Jack hopes that Dani is losing her head about him possibly meeting another girl. SHE IS. How, we aren’t quite sure. Help me out here…
SHE told HIM she just wanted to be friends? Yet SHE is up on the balcony not wanting him to meet someone else and getting jealous? What is going on!
Kendall reckons the new girl will go for Adam and because she’s been playing it cool he might go for it.
IN THEY COME
Immediately Jack has eyes for Georgia. He describes her as a sort and a weapon. If only one of her physical features were as destructive as his blinding gnashers.
The new girls call up hello to the existing girls and Hayley is FUMING. AGAIN can you help me out here? Why is she so annoyed? 1. No one is officially coupled/boyfriend/girlfriend. 2. IT’S DAY 3. 3. She binned Niall off?????
All of the girls are now losing their heads even though none of them massively like the person they are with (Laura/Wes maaaaybe) and again IT’S BEEN 3 DAYS.
They are angry with the new girls. Hayley is sure she doesn’t like them already, having not met them and there’s a generally negative/bitchy air about the roof terrace.
Samira is annoyed that one is a dancer – ‘she better not be on the West End’. Oh are you a dancer Samira? You hadn’t mentioned it…for the last 5 minutes.
(SIDE NOTE: The show took a turn for me here. WHERE are our nice girls? Our role models? Our feminist heroes? The producers need to get some sassy, confident and empowering women in there immediately so we can replace these insecure, boring and vapid ones.)
The new girls are asking the boys who is with who. And to be fair, Adam says he is happy with Kendall and Wes says he is happy with Laura.
Jack lets them know he’s with Dani and WAS happy but that she just wants to be friends.
Alex, Niall and Eyal all say that they are mutually not interested in the person they are coupled with (or in Niall’s case, his pillow).
Hayley and Dani are getting annoyed with Eyal and Jack even though they’ve told them they aren’t interested. SEE CONFUSED?
The public have voted and Alex has got a date with Rosie whilst Georgia has got a date with Niall.
To end the episode we see the boys chatting. Adam is sure that Rosie will pick him and she is his type. The boys look at him with a mixture of shock at his arrogance and admiration for his arrogance. Boys are weird. Could this be the end of Adam/Kendall?
What a web this would be! Adam liking Rosie, who might like Alex whereas Niall likes Kendall who likes Adam? But Niall is now on a date with Georgia who JACK likes but he also likes Dani and Dani may now regret binning him off?
Or am I just trying to make drama to liven up what has been a pretty dull start so far? What do you think? Are you enjoying this series? What are your predictions?
Like last night, I thought I’d leave you with Ben’s comment about last night’s episode…
The brightest thing on the Island shouldn’t just be Jack’s teeth?
He’s got a point…