Love Island Series 4, Episode 31. You can read the episode 30 run down, here.
We’re continuing the world’s most boring dates and Laura has walked off after being rejected by new Jack. I swear most couples, that are now officially couples or have already seen the other person’s insides are asking each other the, ‘so how many siblings do you have?’ mundane shit. You spend 16 hours a day on a sun-lounger together and you’re only just asking their surname?
The girls take Laura off for a chat. She tells them Jack doesn’t like her. She’s not wrong.
Jack tells the lads that the spark’s not there with him and Laura. He says it’s ‘never say never’ for them, but right now it’s not there.
Laura and the girls come back to sit down for dessert.
Jack tells Dani that he wants to plan a future with her. She says she’s never the one that gets the guy but now she is. We’re melting quicker than their ice-cream in 28 degrees.
Josh tells Kaz he never thought he’d meet anyone like her. And to be fair, even though we wanted to lynch him for selling Georgia the dream, they ARE very well suited.
On their date, Megan tells Wes that she didn’t think she’d find someone funny who she also wants to rip clothes off of. Just wait babe, you’ve got two new guys coming in.
Jack tells Laura that he wants to be on good terms with her. He doesn’t think they’ll work here but that it could work with other people so he doesn’t want any bitterness. She says that she’s always in this position. Maaaaajor guilt trip. Laura, I love you. I love that your forehead wrinkles like the rest of us but HONESTLY, take these things on the chin, hold your head high and move on.
It’s the evening and before Dani’s even finished brushing her teeth, Wes and Megan are banging with the lights on.
The next morning, Samira asks her what happened. Megan said it was just dry humping. That’s because her personality is as dry as brick not because of the sex act – juices were definitely flowing.
NewJack talks to Grace for the first time. They say they’d like to get to know each other. I’d like to get to know which highlighter Grace uses to make her skin look grey in the sunshine.
Frankie and the boys do a David Attenborough impression whilst spying on Grace and Jack. It’s the first time we get to see Frankie’s sense of humour. HE’S GOT ONE GUYS.
Georgia tells the islanders that she’s like to speak to Ellie to put everything to one side.
She goes to the daybed to chat to her. She tells her that they’re both different but that she wants to be the bigger person and smooth things over. Georgia finishes by saying that she’s not there to make friends she’s there to find a partner. INNERESTING.
Grace is giving NewJack a haircut to get to know him better. So of course Laura is there to cock block. She’s telling Grace what to do with Jack’s hair. Ah Laura, sweet sweet mother figure Laura.
Laura reckons she needs to step up her game to win Jack back back before Grace gets in there with him. She really doesn’t.
Jack asks Grace questions to get to know her. Really deep and meaningful things like, ‘What would you change about yourself?’ Grace wants skinny legs.
As much as they’re trying to get this weak-ass conversation of the ground, they’re faltering. We settle on Jack being allergic to nuts and Grace loving nuts. So THAT’S why you two would never work.
Frankie, Samira, Ellie and Charlie are discussing whether Georgia and Sam are real. Sam is.
He takes Georgia for a chat by the pool and tells her that he just wants to make sure she’s happy and that he likes her more and more. She laughs. Uh-oh.
Kaz and Josh are being whisked off on a romantic date.
Whilst getting ready with the girls, Kaz says that Josh is her dream guy.
Josh tells Wes and Jack he’s going to ask Kaz to be his gf.
They go for a cute picnic. Kaz tells him that she’s a party girl. He tells her he has a big family and speaks in Thai to her.
Josh and Kaz say they’re both ticking each other’s boxes. He asks her to be his girlfriend. She says yes. It was inevitable. But are they now in-line for the crown? Or are we happy with them and they can go now?
Georgia tells the girls that she wished Josh and Kaz well on the date. ‘You know me, I’m honest.’ And all I keep thinking is about how guys who constantly say they’re nice guys – are never actually nice guys…
Alex and Laura go for a chat. She likes Jack but can see that he’s getting to know Grace. Sweetly, Alex tells Laura she looks unbelievable and that she should show him what he’s missing. Crippling insecurity and bad at communicating? She’s shown that hand already mate.
Samira and Frankie chat about how good they’re doing. She’s finally happy to find someone she fancies and gets on with. Ominous.
Two new boys are entering the villa.
But two islanders must leave.
Wes gets a text. The public have been voting for their favourite girl and favourite boy, the islanders with the fewest votes are dumped.
Jack gets a text next and reveals the 3 girls with the fewest votes: Megan, Grace and Ellie – no surprises there.
Laura then gets a text and reveals the 3 boys with fewest votes: Frankie, Charlie, and Josh. The gang are shocked that Josh is at risk.
Alex gets a text – the girl dumped is Grace.
Dani gets a text – the boy dumped is Frankie.
Does Samira go? OF COURSE SHE DOESN’T.
The new boys don’t enter but we get a sneak peek of them – what does everyone think? Which one (or two) will Megan go for? Will Georgia dump Sam? Will Laura finally find someone? WE SHALL SEE TONIGHT.
Ben’s LIQ: Who the eff is Frankie? Good question, he hardly got any air time.