Love Island Series 4, Episode 32 – you can read the episode 31 run-down here.
Frankie and Grace have been dumped and we’ve forgotten them already.
Samira hasn’t. She is crying to the girls as she feels like she’s back to square one with no one in the house she fancies. She likes Frankie a lot and wants him to wait for her. Erm, she could always leave…?
Wes can’t believe Josh was in the bottom two. Wes is clearly unaware of the power that Georgia’s harnessed over the British public for those two days where we thought she was alright/a Queen.
Charlie tells Ellie he would wait for her if he was eliminated. I’m pretty sure a media set-up with Toff and an immediate Made In Chelsea contract off would put that to rest.
Laura tells Sam and Georgia she’s excited new boys are coming in but she still likes Jack. Here’s hoping the two new guys are up to scratch. (Reader: sorry to jump ahead but – they’re not).
Jack tells Charlie that says he still cares for Laura. Charlie says not to close the book on her as there’s unfinished business. If there’s one thing these editors do well, it’s foreshadowing.
The New boys walk in through the villa and out to the garden with a round of, ‘waaaassssupps’ and ‘yes lads’ to be met with ABSOLUTE AIR. The lack of interest from the housemates (and the public) is gloriously palpable.
Idris is the first to introduce himself – he’s a boxer from Birmingham who to get to know everyone. Aka wants to see who is available and will keep him in the show for more than 3 days.
Kieran’s next. He’s 26, from London and a Personal Trainer. Who isn’t on this show, at this point?
Kaz chats to Josh, Wes and Megan, she predicts that Georgia will have her eye on Kieran. But what about Sam? Georgia is super loyal.
Loyal Georgia asks Idris to the fire pit for a chat. She bangs on about how loyal she is. Four times in one sentence, no less.
Sam knows that Loyal Georgia is Not So Loyal Georgia but he has to back himself that they’ve grown closer and that she likes him enough to stay. She doesn’t.
Idris asks her what’s going on with her and Sam. She tells him that he’s her normal type but that she’s loyal.
Sam walks over to cock block the conversation but the awkward silence is only broken when he attempts to neg on Idris by asking him if he could ever be in the Olympics. Idris reckons he could. Idris is a liar.
The Hideaway is open and it’s Wes and Meg’s turn. She’s been in there so often that she may as well keep her toothbrush in the en-suite. To further prove her familiarity with the shag-pad, she wears Eyal’s (her first villa conquest) hoodie to go and bang Wes.
It’s bed-time and Jack tells Laura he cares about her a lot and that he still fancies her. He brings her in for a cuddle. He tells us there’s more feelings than he thought for Laura. They kiss. Convenient that two new guys have joined, or nah?
It’s the next morning and either Wegan are going for round two or they’ve been at it for 8 solid hours. Neither options would surprise me.
Laura tells Dani and Ellie that her and Jack hugged and kissed last night. In her totally adorable and straight talking way, Dani tells Laura to keep Jack guessing by getting to know the new boys.
NewJack tells Josh that the new boys have given him a kick up the arse to address his feelings for Laura. Again I can’t work out how genuine this is…
OGJack asks Sam who he thinks the new boys will go for. Sam thinks they’ll go for a Georgia but that they don’t realise that him and Georgia are strong. About as strong as Alex’s resistance to tan.
The girls ask Megan how she is after the hideaway and she’s very happy. Dani tells her that they made love. They absolutely didn’t. Megan tells them she has finally found what she’s looking for. Finally? Like finally FINALLY or just a bit finally, Meg? Because you’ve finally found the whole package about 16 times in 3 weeks, babe.
Jack calls a DBS meeting. They ask Wes how many rounds of bits he went for. He charmingly details two and that you either have to ‘Go hard or go home’. Please go home.
Kieran and Idris are chatting. Kieran likes Kaz but reckons she could be out of bounds so he’s thinking Georgia. Idris likes Kaz, Laura and Georgia.
Idris calls Laura over. He asks what her type is. She says she’s seeing Jack but that they’re both keeping their options open. She asks his type. He says, ‘you’ll find out.’ We vomit.
Idris is the guy you meet at the bar when you’re out with mates who touches your waist inappropriately, hums when looking you up and down, tells you you’re the finest thing he’s ever seen and then tells the bar tender that you’re buying him a drink. Nah, do one, mate.
Kieran asks Sam if he can chat with Loyal Georgia. THE ARROGANCE. Cucked Sam steps aside.
He asks how her and Sam are. She says it’s new and that they’re seeing how things are going. Which we all know is Love Island code for, ‘waiting for something better to come along.’
He asks if he can get to know her more. She agrees and reiterates that as she’s so loyal, if her connection with him is better than what it is with Sam, she’d let Sam know. Now THAT’S loyalty.
Idris asks Samira for a chat. She’s down in the dumps and he’s trying to cheer her up. She describes her type and he tries to make out it’s him. He wants to know how to make her happy. She said it’s to bring Frankie back. Idris needs some factor 50 THICK on that burn.
Kieran asks Kaz for a chat. Josh doesn’t mind as he knows where Kaz’s head is at.
She tells Kieran that Josh asked her to be his girlfriend. She’s flattered by his interest and said they can be friends but Kieran won’t take no for an answer. And 20 minutes after entering I already hate him. SHE SAID NO REPEATEDLY. A firm ‘no’ isn’t a green-light to push harder for a yes. Rape Culture Posterboy fuckface.
Jack and Laura chat and he said he was panicking about the future so that’s why he binned her. I’m not buying it.
He wants to kiss her face off but he worries it looks like he’s acting like that because of the new boys. It does.
She said she can’t just be his mate because she wants to be all over him. They both decide to give it a try. Joy.
Kieran asks Sam how him and Georgia are getting on. Sam said they’re similar and it’s a natural progression for them. Kieran asks if Sam would stand in his way if he pursued Georgia. Sam said it’s fine if he tries it on as it’ll show either way where her head is at.
You’re going to regret that, Birdy.
Loyal Georgia tells Sam that it’s good that other guys come along because she’ll always be honest with him – erm how’s that good?
Sam is being SO NEEDY. G says all of er her eggs are all over the place. We know, we can see.
The new boys get to take a girl each on a date with them.
The gang ask Georgia what she would do if a new guy planted a kiss on her. She said she wouldn’t kiss him back. Jack laughs due to her doing EXACTLY THAT TO HIM. But she claps back and accuses him again. Lolz.
Kieran asks Georgia a date and Idris asks Laura.
They do the first date small talk. I zone out because they’re all boring as fuck.
Idris tells Laura that she shouldn’t believe in Jack as much as she does as he saw Jack go for the kiss with Georgia. Can open. Worms everywhere.
The episode finishes as they arrive back from the dates.
Ben’s LIQ: ‘Sam Bird can no longer wing it with Georgia’. Bird pun. Got it.
Hero: Kaz. I’m not her biggest fan but she repeatedly tried to shut down Kieran by telling him she wasn’t interested. THAT’S LOYAL.
Villain: The new boys. They’re creepy, arrogant, forceful and gross. Can we send them back for new ones immediately?
Tonight’s episode is on later due to England DEFINITELY securing a place in the World Cup final but we’ll see a NEW GIRL ENTER. She’s got her sight set on Josh and Alex but who will turn their head for her?