As you may have seen on Twitter and Instagram this weekend, I’M ENGAGED. I was overwhelmed with lovely responses that ranged from, ‘yay congrats’ to, ‘oMfG LoOk At ThAt RiNg!’ and a slew of DMs curious about how it all went down – so I thought I’d fill ya in!
Ben and I decided that we’d like to get married pretty much as soon as we moved in.
I’ve always been very anti-marriage due to growing up in a family with many broken marriages and seeing my Mum and Dad navigate 30 years of virtually hating each other convinced me that it was a total fallacy.
What’s more is that I’ve been close to ‘settling’ down with two boyfriends before and each time I’ve had a very lucky escape from a Leave voting football hooligan and a cheater. These experiences made me think I’d be happier off alone and that relationships were miserable constructs to keep you tied down and locked in for life.
Until I met Ben.
Our relationship is the best thing to ever happen to me. As someone who is so strong-willed, who takes no crap and would never settle for anything less perfect – Ben just fits.
He supports every decision I make. He is proud of me. He’s there for me when I’m down with foot rubs, hair strokes and life-management and he’s there for me during the good times with foot rubs, hair strokes and champagne.
Living together is the best. Every day and night we have together is filled with fun, laughter, affection and love and without sounding like the most vom-tastic-smug-prick EVER, it’s my happy place.
So of course I’d want that forever.
But that wasn’t the tipping point in my decision to marry – because we could have that as co-habitants.
Nope, that shift came when my father died earlier this year.
Suddenly I was an orphan with no family (apart from my Sis) and I felt extremely lost and alone. Until Ben sat me down and told me that we were a family now. He told me that whatever life throws at us, we’d do it together, as a family. And that’s what switched it.
I wanted to belong and become a part of something. And that something was a family with Ben and part of his wonderful wider family too.
Once that was decided, it was a matter of when, how and WHICH RING?
In Vegas, we had my finger measured in Tiffany ‘in case of any huge wins’ and life continued.
I, of course, showed him the engagement ring style I had always dreamed of – Lauren Conrad’s solitaire with plain rose gold band and let him mull it over.
Because I’m a massive pain in the arse, that can’t let things lie, I occasionally (Ok constantly) questioned him over when it would happen, what ring he would get and how it would happen. He was very good at keeping his plans under wraps by assuring me it would be before, ‘October 32nd’.
It became almost a running joke between us with him asking me questions like, ‘When would you like?’ TODAY, ‘What ring would you like?’ THIS ONE, ‘How would you like me to do it?’ NOW, TODAY.
I didn’t realise, however, that the matter was already in hand! Unbeknownst to me, he’d already been off, had it designed and had told his friends and family that it was imminent.
Then one night after work his demeanour changed – he asked questions in a worried tone (wanting to get it 100% right) and I said to him, ‘It’s here isn’t it?’ – well I could tell by the look on his face that it was going to happen VERY SOON.
And two days later, it did.
We’d had our new bed delivered and Ben looked nervous. He said, ‘Shall we do it now?’ and I knew he wasn’t talking about sticking a divan up.
So sweaty, frustrated with DIY and exhausted from lugging a mattress from room to room, we collapsed on our new bed in a fit of giggles.
Ben asked me to close my eyes and before I knew it, a ring was slid onto my finger. He asked if it fit, and I said yes. He then took it off and asked me to open my eyes where he presented me the box – I opened it and looked at the ring (my more than dream perfect ring) and I began to cry like an absolute banshee. We both did.
We cried and hugged and cried and hugged until the only thing that could pull us out of our happy, in-love and excited bubble, needed to happen – dinner.
I immediately called my sister who answered the phone and said, ‘You’re calling to tell me you’re engaged or pregnant so which one is it?’ and once I’d told her we were engaged, she told me to Facetime her. Upon answering she told me the ring was bigger than my pea-head and we had a lil sisterly cry over how sad it was that I couldn’t call our parents with the news.
Ben and I then decided not to tell anyone else until after we’d seen his parents in Cornwall (this weekend past) for a mini-holiday.
We arrived in Cornwall and were met by them at the station. I hugged them all with a long-sleeve top pulled over my hand and it was only once we’d gotten to the apartment we were staying in that Ben said, ‘We’ve got some news’ and pulled my sleeve up.
Cue much squealing, crying, hugging, excitement and champagne popping!
Ben’s Mum excitedly asked about any plans but we can safely say we’re still in the initial ‘floating ideas’ stage!
So there ya go – the story of how I got engaged. Feel free to ask any questions and I’ll do my best to answer!
What weddingy content would you like to see on here? I’m not a massively bridey person and definitely not traditional in a lot of senses so don’t be expecting Pinterest worthy stuff but yeah, let me know.
My next wedding-based post will be on whether I’m taking Ben’s last name or not! Juicyyyyy.