I recently had a moment whilst waiting for the 159 bus to bring me, sweaty, broken and exhausted me, back home from Oxford Street after a day of fannying about up town under the pretence of being a bloguer.
It was a moment that really gave me an out-of-body experience, looking at what I was holding, what I had been doing and the shit I didn’t need but had been buying, that made me realise…
Fuck, I’ve reached peak millennial.
Let me paint you that picture.
Me, a 32 year old woman, was stood at a bus stop in Central London after eating a vegan cookie in Pret, who was happy with her new Instagram editing style, Pokemon Go was whizzing around on the smart phone in her hand, she was holding a leopard print notebook from & Other Stories, whilst wearing Birkenstocks, drinking an iced latte and thinking about how she could include chickpeas in her dinner, which would inevitably be eaten in front of Netflix, when suddenly a notification appeared on her smartphone that made her drop her Eevee like it’s hot and check it immediately.
The macrame wall hanging she had bid for on Shpock was being shipped the very next day.
I hadn’t just reached, ‘peak millennial’, I had climbed its summit quicker than Nelly and Kelly climbed the charts.
Millennials are often mocked in the media and have become somewhat of a meme and on this very day, I could see exactly why.
We’re insufferable aren’t we, millennials?
More and more of us are ‘fannying about up town’ for work instead of being sat behind a desk in a 9 to 5.
We base our relationships solely around communication which is definitely, in part, down to Dream Phone.
And lord KNOWS how the amount of iced coffee we consume directly affects the housing market. No but seriously, I could DEFINITELY have a deposit by now if it wasn’t for the Jesus Juice that is almond milk and hazelnut syrup.
And any true millennial will be able to recall the Jesus Juice reference.
Furthermore, with more and more adults between the age of 22 and 37 becoming involved in politics, activism and gaining a social awareness (far exceeding what those Generation Xers behold) we’re just a right bothersome bunch of snowflakes, aren’t we?
Another way to reference us, to bring us down, to take the piss out of us for dreaming and striving for a better world.
Because that’s what we’ve become isn’t it? A massive circle jerk of nostalgic references and equal parts fighting the millennial tag and relishing in every fucking sweet piece of avo toast it allows us.
So in the vein of peak millennia, why not take my friendly quiz and work out JUST how millennial you are?
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