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Shit Non Single People Say

Ever find that conversations with your single friends are completely different to the ones you have with your non-single mates? There’s something about finding a partner that turns some people into sanctimonious, patronising pricks and I just can’t handle it any longer.

Do non-single people truly believe they’ve got love figured out because they’re Facebook official? Because they’ve got someone to slob around in wank pants with? Because they have a plus one to social events? Do they suddenly forget how AMAZING being single is? Have their lovestruck brains wiped out the memories of dating a different guy each week or pulling on a night out?

It sometimes seems that way with the bollocks that comes out of their mouths.

My single friends get it. If I bemoan a shitty date, they just know that that’s what things are like nowadays. If I say I’m lonely, they’ll offer up a girly night in. If I say I just want to pull for a bit of fun, they don’t judge. They know to keep their mouths shut because they know this is a subject that can be emotive for some and boring for others.

Turn these bitches non-single and suddenly they lose tact.

I’m actually considering creating ‘Non-Single Bingo’ or heck even a drinking game because god knows I need alcohol to get me through little lectures from them about how to find a man. Want to play along? Have a stiff one every time you hear judgement over you seeking a stiff one…

‘Don’t worry you’ll meet someone.’

‘You just need to stop looking.’

‘You’re too fussy.’

‘He’s out there!’

‘It’s because you WANT to meet someone, focus on yourself.’

‘It’ll happen when you least expect it.’

‘Get off the apps and meet someone when you’re out.’

Can we just say a collective FUCK OFF to these seemingly well meaning but actually condescending twatweasles?

Just because YOOOOOUUU were so desperate for a boyfriend. Just because YOOOOOUUUU felt like shit every time someone pied you on a date. Just because YOOOOOUUUU are going to get married and have kids before me.

It doesn’t mean that the rest of us are that desperate, lonely or unhappy with being single or dating.

In all seriousness though, people approach dating in different ways. Some people are truly out their grafting every minute of every day to find a husband before their eggs dry out. They get exhausted. They feel down and lonely. They need a man to complete them. That’s cool. As a single person, I don’t judge their quest for a man or feel the need to give them advice on their situations. On the other hand, some single people are single because they don’t even want to entertain another person. Some people are single and like to sleep around. Some people are single but like dating. Some people are out looking to meet someone but are strong enough in themselves that a few knockbacks are frustrating but not worth getting upset over.

Non-single people just don’t get that because their coupled up lives are so perfect, they just don’t understand why people don’t want what they have. Non-single people also believe they’ve won at dating. They’ve achieved the final level and completed that stage. These victories make them confident. It’s with this confidence that they decide to share their tips and tricks for advancing to the same stage they’re at to anyone that has no choice but to listen.

Due to this lack of choice, I’m going to have to make a plea to the non singles I know.

UNLESS I ASK YOU WHAT I NEED TO DO TO BECOME NON SINGLE, STFU.

I just think we’d all get a long a lot better if we stopped offering advice to people who don’t need it or want it.

Sincerely,

Someone who gives love advice on a blog.

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9 Comments
  • bee
    January 9, 2017

    I hope you don’t think I am like this 😉
    Bee xxx

  • Lizzie Bee
    January 9, 2017

    Oh my gosh this cracked me up so much because some of those things is exactly what I say to my single friends. I never really thought about it this way before, and now I’ll definitely refrain from saying “you need to stop looking!”

  • Kathleen
    January 9, 2017

    I think you need to get some new friends if this is how you feel about them haha..

    Made In The 1990s

  • Erin
    January 9, 2017

    YES! Non singles are SOOOOOOOOOO annoying, I said to my Non Single friend last week “I’m just lonely” her response was for me to come over and hang out with her and her other half…. aaaaah so me watching you smooch on the couch is going to ease my loneliness is it? No. I will stay home and cuddle my MacBook. I also get pissed off when I get the pity face, right now I am deciding not to date, not to look, I don’t like me very much right now – so the last thing I want to do is encourage someone else to like me. but somehow no one in a relationship understands this and all I get is “awww don’t worry there is someone out their waiting to love you” ARGH! I feel you, I feel you.

    Erin || MakeErinOver

  • Veronica Bizzarri
    January 9, 2017

    Preach! Someone who gets how annoying is when your friends in a relationship look down on the single life.. the single life is great.. i wish people in relationships would stop bashing it

    Ronnie
    http://www.veronicabizzarri.blogspot.co.uk
    xx

  • Megan
    January 9, 2017

    There is so much anger in this post. Yikes.

    I don’t think everyone is in a relationship just so they can trap a husband before their eggs dry up. Plenty of couples don’t want marriage or children and just like being together.

  • Sophie C-B
    January 12, 2017

    This is BLOOOODYYYY brilliant. I love how honest it is!

  • Aoife
    January 14, 2017

    This. All of this.

    I went through a break up once and my mate invited me out for some apres work cocktails. Then brought her boyfriend along and spent most of the time with her lips velcroed to his.

    Not the time, mate. Not. The. Time.

  • Lizi
    January 15, 2017

    If you turn this into a drinking game, I’m going to develop a problem with alcohol as dear god I cannot cope with one more loved up person telling me ‘the right person is out there’. They may well be. If they are, they’re probably the champion hide and seek player of the universe. I genuinely feel that being single for an extended period of your time from your mid twenties onwards can be good for you/character building as you tackle so many life changes and struggles without a partner to support you, whereas a lot of people in long term relationships (which may be long term but that doesn’t mean they’ll last forever), just don’t know how to cope.

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