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The Truth about being on ‘The Pull’

‘The Pull’ – a very English turn of phrase which simply translates to, ‘on the hunt for a sniff of genitals’. Many people pretend they’re not on the pull but do a variety of things I’m about to discuss. Others will broadly state, during their pre night out Prosecco and Garlic Bread that the forthcoming evening will be a complete waste if they don’t get at least one snog or phone number. So if you’re going on the pull, or have ever been on the pull, you will recognise some of these strategies…

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The Pre Pull Prep. Everyone going on the pull has their own MO. What do you want to have achieved by the end of the night? A snog? A phone number? A bang? Whatever the aim, a considerable amount of prep needs to go in. Do you get a wax and shave your legs? Or does that make the 2am crawl back to yours more tempting and you’d rather avoid it this week?

The Pulling Outfit. Everyone has their best outfit that has the highest pulling success rate. Whatever you’re most comfortable and confident in – whether it’s sexy and revealing or covered up and demure – if it gives you that confident strut to the bar, it’s going to turn heads.

The Eye Shag. So you’ve spotted your pulling target from across the room. You lock eyes for that split second longer than what’s natural and turn back to your mates. Repeat infinitely until it’s SO OBVIOUS you fancy each other. Before approaching, check for any signs of a significant other (a wedding ring is always a good place to start) and then go for it!

The Dance Floor Bump. Maybe you aren’t quite confident or drunk enough to approach your Pulling Prospect head on. So you employ the dance floor bump. You make sure you and your mates are positioned within arm brushing range of The Prospect and as soon as the DJ bangs on ‘Turn Me On’, you  accidentally on purpose dance on him a little bit. And if you’re a pulling pro, try eyeshagging him as you lip sync, ‘girl wine all around me, you got me going crazy…’.

The Bar Chat. You’ve been eyeshagging and dance floor bumping throughout the DJ’s garage mix but neither of you are quite ready to make the first move just yet. You spot him or her extricating themselves from their group to head to the bar so you ditch yours as quickly as you’re about to ditch your dignity and ensure you squeeze yourself right next to them. If the bar is packed or the service is shite, it’s the ideal conversation starter.

The Pie. One way a pull can go is the end of night Pie. You’ve done your hardest graft and STILL they move on to the next bar or go home without asking for your number or shoving their tongue down your throat. It feels like the ultimate pie in the face. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? Was it because you couldn’t get up after slut dropping or he saw you knocking back 5 Jagers in a row?

The Pull. The other way a pull can go is ACTUAL PULLING. Whether it’s a snog on the dancefloor or an offer to walk you to McDonalds and a plea for your phone number, the super babe inside you wants to punch the air with glee. Unless you’re absolutely mortal and the guy you’ve pulled is someone Sober You would never look at twice. Then it’s been a massive waste of your resources.

Whichever way a night out on the pull went, you can be sure you’ve had a great time. What are your pulling success stories?

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1 Comment
  • The eye shag + licking/biting a lip. Every time. What you wrote is pretty much my formula down to a T.

    My ‘success story’: Meet a boy the first night he moves into a house. Shag repeatedly. End up dating him. Definitely a win!

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