Fucking shit. Post, done.
But being rejected for laser eye surgery hurts just like every other rejection. That job you knew you were right for, even though you’re qualifications aren’t quite real and the 4 other candidates were better. The person you reeeeaaally liked but didn’t quite reply to on time and kept stringing along. All of these rejections hurt. But all are totally reasonable.
And that’s what happened with me and laser eye surgery.
I was very kindly offered the treatment by Ultralase. I was sure that after a trip to Harley Street, a chat with an optometrist and a brunch with the lovely Tami in marketing, I’d be one step closer to finally having vision. But it just didn’t pan out that way. So let me tell you what happened and HOPEFULLY you’ll learn more about the process along the way.
I arrived at Harley Street after walking into 14 separate buildings to ask if they were Ultralase. You know what they say, 15th time’s a charm!
If there was ever a time I needed working eyes – it was to be able to see the very obvious Ultralase sign so that I didn’t have to annoy 14 receptionists all probably called Sandra.
Once there, a consultant took me through to a room for 4 different tests.
Each one tested different aspects of eye health, from cornea strength to prescription – because as it was explained to me, if my eyes weren’t healthy, the treatment wouldn’t go ahead.
At this point I knew I wouldn’t be able to have it.
A previous optician’s declaration of, ‘if you don’t stop wearing contact lenses constantly you could be in trouble,’ rang through my ears and lo and behold…
After the 4 tests had taken place I was taken through to the lovely optometrist for my results. She explained that my cornea was too weak and that one of the tests had shown that layers of cells in my eyes had holes in them and that it was effectively like having a cracked window. Any pressure on it and the window would break.
Laser eye surgery was off of the cards.
At this point I could’ve been devastated. I HATE wearing glasses. On lots of people I think they look amazingly chic and sexy however due to my terrible prescription, sticking them on my face makes me look less intelligently beautiful and more like frigging Reg Holsworth (niche reference, look it up).
I suffer a lot with negative body image and low self esteem. I’m sure I (like many of you) could list the 3573483 things we notice that are off about ourselves – it’s something I’m desperately trying to work on and getting laser eye surgery, in my mind, would be a start.
After suffering the laser eye surgery rejection, I could’ve felt awful at being prescribed a lifetime of eye infections from contact lenses or sadness from seeing myself in glasses on my face. But that didn’t happen.
I don’t know whether it was the way the news was delivered to me or the hour long D&M I had with the optometrist about body image, families, fathers, grief and growing to make our parents proud, but I left the clinic with a different outlook, albeit a terribly high prescriptioned one.
No, I may not be able to have a treatment that could turn my vision around, that would free me of glasses and lenses BUT someone (the optometrist, GOD??? who knows…) was looking out for me. Someone was prioritising my health, my eye health, in a way I never had.
It would’ve been easy for me to walk out of Ultralase and find another clinic who would overlook my poor eye health for the sake of the cost of the treatment. And the consequences could’ve been dire.
Oh and if you’re worrying about me, like, ‘Vix SHIT are you about to go blind?’ – rest assured folks (like I was) that this issue shouldn’t bite me in the ass until I get cataracts and at that point I just need to let whichever robot is operating on me know that my eyes are as flimsy as my work ethic.
So I left Ultralase feeling positive. I was armed with knowledge about my eyes. I FINALLY understood how important it is to prioritise this aspect of my health.
And rather than hate contacts and glasses and how they make me look and feel, I left with an appreciation that I could see and there were many things and people out there who are there to keep my eyes healthy.
A HUGE thank you to Ultralase and everyone who made what could’ve been a disappointing outcome feel positive and the optometrist, who not only made me cry, contemplate life and think deeply about my parents but who also left me armed with knowledge.
If you’re interested in an Ultralase journey that could have a different outcome, then I recommend following my buddy Laura who is getting it done.
Have you had laser eye surgery? Do you want it to get done and have worries? Would love to know your thoughts on it!